Harry Styles Oneshots // english

Need For Breath And Finding Each Other #3

Y/n didn't enjoy holding hands with him. Somehow his palm always felt sweaty against her skin and she'd noticed early on that his hold was a little too tight for her liking. But what was she supposed to do? Or say? Keith was everything she was supposed to want now that Harry had left her life.
He genuinely cared for her and showed interest when she spoke. His joked, though simple and not very smart, were funny and made her laugh. He was nice and after what she'd endured with the person she'd thought to be her partner in every way, nice to be good enough.
Also y/n knew that after six weeks without Harry, it was okay to not be fully over him yet. It was normal that she could sometimes feel her heaty ache a little whenever she thought of him and though it wasn't completely fair to Keith, it wasn't unusual to still think if your ex when kissing someboy new.
Y/n did feel guilty for it and it was because of Harry's presence in the back her head that she'd decided to end things with Keith for now. She couldn't continue being unfair to him and leading him on the same way HArry had done to her. The pain of having allowed yourself to fall only to learn that the other person had been clinging on to somebody else the entire time hurt so much it could be crushing.And she wasn't going to do that to anybody.
So she'd broken up whatever the thing between her and Keith had been. To be better than Harry.
Well, that and because the guy had unimaginably sweaty hands.

....

Harry didn't like the term 'miserable'. It sounded too melodramatic for his taste and was way overused. Stil the only word that would have fit physical appearance and emotional state was just that: miserable.
His hair was unruly and unwashed, his face pale and skin dry. His cloths were much darker than anything he always used to wear and his entire posture lacked the confidence and strength he used to have. The only think that hadn't changed about him were his eyes. Sure, they were underlined by dark rings, which gave away how little he slept these days, but aside from that they were as bright and green as before. And they were always looking, constantly searching every place he went for one face. Her. God how he missed her.
At first Harry hadn't allowed himself to let go and give in to the pain, thinking that three months weren't enough to form a deep connection to somebody. Their short time together wasn't suppossed to have such an impact on him, especially since, as he constantly and very painfully reminded himself, it had been him who'd ended it all.
He had walked out. He hadn't fought for her, hadn't even wanted her then and it had been him who had been deleded enough tho think he'd want Kira intead.
Perhaps having nobody to blame but himself it was the hardest part aout allowing the pain to hit with full force. Harry had never been good at facing the consequences to his actions.

....

"I don't miss him."

A lie obviously, but one y/n had learned to tell herself every day and now she almost believed it.

"I don't miss him at all."

Good. Y/n smiled at herslef in the mirror one more time, then she turned to grab her bag and face the day.
After Harry had left her apartment that night, that awful night she hated thinking about, y/n hadn't touched the door for three days. Three long days she'd stayed put in her tinyapartment, crying, trembling and above all waiting for Harry to come back to her. For him to tell her that he loved her and that she had been more to him than a rebound he no longer saw any use for.
On day four she'd gone to buy groceries and had by coincidence stumbled into Keith, about whom she didn't have much to sat now other than that he hadn't aided her in getting over Harry but only reminded her how deeply she'd fallen. And after that was over too,y/n had made a plan to heal. Every day she had to go out and leave her apartment at least once for something other than to go to school or work or grocery shopping.
Fresh air, nature and the strangers in the city around her were what she believed would help her return to her old self and mend her broken heart. She needed to get back into like somehow. And she needed to stop missing him so badly.

....

Not everything about them had been awlfuland doomed to fail from the beginning.
Yes, when Kira had reached out for Harry it'd been easy for her to distract him and take his mind off if y/n, but that didn't mean that he hadn't let y/n steal his heart.It was just that his mind hadn't caught up in time.

There had been nights when they would laugh until their eyes were crying and their tummies aching, most of the time because of something utterly silly or childish.
Nobody had ever understood the two of them the way they seemed to understand each other, with no words even. It was as if y/n and Harry sang the same melody with no music playing and without having discussed the song first... they just fit. As simple as that. Bacj then and now still if only they'd somehow found each other again.

....

Harry felt both ashamed and self pity.
Shame, because he couldn't find the courage in him to reach out for her, apologize to her and really just talk to her about everything going on in his head. There was so much she needed to know and though he could practically taste to words on his tongue, he found no voice to say them.
Pity, because his body ached. Every move was followed by a dull pain or stinging sensation in his chest. Breathing was hard. And frankly Harry didn't know how much longer he couldn't bear it. No matter how deserved it was.

He'd deserved Kira's harshness towards him, her incapability of being kind and gently. He'd chosen her after all. But that didn't change that his entirety screamed for somebody to mend what her words had done to him, for y/n to come back and relieve him from the burden Kira's cold words had brought.

....

At first she didn't believe that it was really him. The Harry in her memory looked hardly anything like the tall guy staring at her from outside the window of the coffee shop she was sitting in. And anyway, you don't just run into Harry, do you? Not here. Not at her favorite coffee shop in the city, a fact he was very well aware of. Unless he had been looking for her, perhaps even waiting, for her to finally show up.
He was so beautiful.
Y/n found herself smiling.
And when his green orbs had found her form, sitting there reading before looking up to instantly find his gaze, his entire body was set at ease. Finally he could stop searching her face in every person he came across, could stop trying to remember every detail about her features so they would never leave his memory, because she was rigth there.
And oh was she beautiful. The images in his ehad could never have done her true beauty justice and he felt a smile tug on his lips.
Before he could prepare himself she was on her feet and hurrying towrds the exit of the tiny shop. Harry didn't know if it was so she could run from him, comfort him with much deserved screaming or because she had been aching for him as much as he had for her. He [rayed it was the later.
Y/n's feet carried her without her mind's consent, focused only on one goal: Reaching Harry. And when she stood before him she could breathe, the air around him fresg and him and burning her hungry lungs in the best way possible.
It was uncertain which one of them wrapped their arms around the other first, but now that they were finally home again it didn't matter. Harry's head found its familiar place in her neck, y/n's face nuzzled into his chest and when she felt tears falling from her eyes she let out a small gasp of relief. Harry held her tighter.
There was a lot they needed to say and tell each other, hem above all, had a lot of explaining to do.
But for now then words from him and five from her sufficed.

"I am not with Kira. You were not a rebound."

"Keith is not myboyfriend."

And with thsat being said they held onto each other tighter, cried and breathed together, certain that though difficult, the future wouldn't be as dark now that they had the other to face it with.