Harry Styles Oneshots // english

warmth On THeir Fingertips #2

"I made you breakfast."

Harry stood there rigid and with jelly-like legs in the space of our small kithcen, from where he had a direct view onto me where i lingered in the doorway. The state of my body matched hsi as i stood as frozen as he did when at the same time my limps felt weaker than ever.
I hadn't ecpected to see him.
When i rolled out of bed agter waking from a night's sleep that had been hunted by nightmares, I'd expected to be as alone and lonely as i'd been almost every morning. Harry had been gone for so long without giving my feelings a second thought, so why would he care all of a sudden?
Because i'd cried in front of him, where he had to actually see what he did to me for a chance instead of only hearing it in my desperate voice-messages?
Well, i suppose my distraught state the nigt before must've left its impression on him. After all, voice-messages could be deleted and ignored, my break-down however he'd had no control over.I almost smiled when i thought about how much i must've shocked him with my reaction to how cold he treated me.

"Eggs," Harry tried to tempt me and he raised the plate in his hand almost shyly so i'd have a clearer view on what he'd made for em, "With tomatoes even. I don't really like them in m'egg but- mean i know tat you do so... you like that, right? Figured you might want to eat a proper breakfast today."

His eyes were wide and i watched with a heaviness settling in my chest how the pink lips of his i loved so much were bitten and pulled at roughly by his teeth.
I knew he wanted me to reassure him that he'd done good, that his gesture would help make things between us okay again.
Of course Harry wasn't oblivious and he wasn't stupid either, he knew that it would take more than just breakfast for us to be allright, but perhaps, he'd hoped, perhaps a good and proper breakfast together would help the process along.

When he was sure that i wouldn't reply he sighed heavily and set the plate down in the table. His attention turned to the counter where he began to throw more food on a plate and i watched with a strange sense of guilt how he so desperately tried to coax a reaction out of me.

"Made you some toast as well," he continued, "And there's tea. Coffee as well, of course, but figured you might want tea so... We got juice!"

Since when? I wondered.
Harry almost smiled, reading my thoughts only by looking at my mildly surprised expression.

"I went and got some when you were sleeping. It's some multivitamin thing. That's something you like, don you?'

He almost sighed with relief upon receiving my timid nod.

"Thank you," i added and i shuddered at how scratchy and hoarse my voice sounded.

Harry's skin prickled at the sound and once more he was painfully reminded of how much i'd cried last night. Though he had to admit he was glas to hear me speak, by this point he hadn't expected me to anymore.
For a moment we just stood there looking at each other, both of our heads trying to make out what was going on in the other's mind.
Harry swallowed visibly ad weakly nodded to the chairs. I refused to move.

"Food's getting cold, love," he murmured, voice as warm as it could be when he was busy trying to ignore the uncomfortable atmosphere around us, "Aren't you hungry?"

I wanted to say no and keep the distance that was between us, scared of getting hurt should i allow him close again. He'd hurt me so bad and only thinking about it made my eyes water and throat go so dry it was impossible for me to decline how quiet requset. Instead i shook my head rapidly and Harry paled when i took a step back.

"Y/n."

"Not hungry," i stammered, though when i wanted to walk away my feet refused to obey my body.

It was as if someone had pushed against my chest so forcefully it'd knocked all of the air right out of my lungs.
Harry looked sick. Only nog did i noticed how red-rimmed and swollen his eyes were, indicating clearly that he'd slept as little and probably just as bad as i had myself. He was shaking and the way he held his ody screamed insecurity.
Hary was broken and desperately trying to somehow grasp a tiny part of me that would then promise him that our relationship and what we'd has wasn't completely lost.
But wasn't it?
Looking at the guy standing in our kitchen, aware that i loved him with all of what was left of me, i couldn't even think of bein with him again. There was a wall between s, a thick, stone wall that neither of us would ever be able to break through.