Harry Styles Oneshots // english

Golden Slumbers

"This is the happiest day of my life."

She found her eyes as she looked at her sad reflection in the mirror. Sad, not only because that was the only word that coulcd have described the emotion clawing at her heart, trying to pull out her chest, but also because her hair was a mess, her skin pale and none of her clothing items fit the other.
Y/n took a deep breath, bit her tongue and tried to smile. The result was nothing but a miserable grimace and didn't at all resemble a real sign of content.

She closes her eyes and clenched her ahnds into two weak fists.

"This is the happiest day of my life."

Her orbs found themselves again. They looked as if they had been made out of glass. A glass that had either been dipped into blood and taken its colour or was reflecting the deep red of a setting sun. Her palke cheeks looked sunken in and when she took a deep breath she noticed herself visibly shake.

This wasn't supposed to be the happiest day of her life. It wasn't supposed to make want to rip herself into shreds , either.

Y/n noticed harry stepping into the room and found his gaze without turning around. Of course he saw her, she didn't see any point in trying to disguise how devastated she was, and it relieved her that he didn't try to say something ti cheer her up. She couldn't think of anything that would have managed to make her feel better or that could have replaced her ugly grimace with a genuine smile. No words would be able ti take away what had broken her heart.
And even of, she wouldn't have wanted to let go of the sadness just yet. She's have to do so soon enough and would have to somehow move on even when she didn't feel ready.
If there was a moment in time, where she was allowed to be sad, allowed to feel like everything she'd done had been for nothing and quite honesty like everything had gone wrong wrong for her, then that time was today.

"I didn't know you were coming."

She haterd surprises. Detested that on a day where she felt like her hands were trying to capture control and instead only caught then air, he was here without asking her first. And it made her want to be angry at him for showing up and not giving her the change to deny him. Y/n wasn't too proud for him to see her upset. She didn't mind to carry her heart on her sleeve and let her emotions show. But him here meant she couldn't crawl into bed and stay there while her mind drowned itself into the overwhelming sense of sadness washing over and consuming her. He would always try to keep her afloat.
And perhaps she just didn't want to float anymore.

"Sent you a text." His voice wrapped itself around her like a warm embrace.

She must've not seen it.
A quiet sigh fell from her lips and she tried to hold back her tears. Compared to hers, harry's smile wasn't ugly. He stepped closer and y/n flinched when his hand pressed to her shoulder blade, softly scratching her before leaning in to kiss the back of her head.

"Want me to run you a bath?" It was a kind offer, one he didn't expect her to take.

If she let her head rol back just the tiniest bit, it could rest on harry's shoulder. He hummed and wrapped both aroms around her waist, gently pulling her body against his chest so he could let her know that he was there, even when he knew that she wouldn't want to speak just yet.

Y/n shook her head. Her eyes fell shut. "I'm so tired, har."

"I know."

her fingers were rubbed softly and she leaned into him as she kissed her cheek and breathed in her scent. His heart ached and he felt nervous even when he wouldn't let that show. His nose brushed her skin.
The presence of the man she loved calmed her inner tummult, but it didn't quite manage to settle it.
Instead, when y/n looked at herself again, she felt her lungs crumble. She looked pathethic, she thought. And she didn't think so to be harsh on herself or dron in self-loathing, but simply because this was true. She looked sick and beyond exhausted, not all like a person who could cope with what was bound to happen next.
finally her puffy and red eyes gave in and harry frowned when she let go and allowed herself to cry softly. How was she supposed to move on from this? Warm and salty tears painted her flushed cheeks wet, paining him like a shockwave crushing through him. Though it was her pain that got expressed with cries rocking through her, harry fought to hold back his own wail at seeing her break in his embrace. Her shoulders shook as she cried and harry tightened his hold when he felt her trying to pull away.

"I'm here" he breathed against her, "Let me take care of you. We can still fix this."

She shook her head and let her shoulders slump. "I can't... I just can't, harry. I'm so tired of it. Today... wasn't supposed to be like this."

"I know" his lips connected with her shoulder, "It's not fair. This wasn't okay."

Though he voiced exactly what she was thinking and she knew that harry couldn't exactly change anything for her, it felt good to be supported and have him agree.
Somehow, it let her hope that together they would cope and like he'd said... somehow fix it.
Y./n hadn't been one to believe that everything would work out. She hadn't been optimistic about her future and wouldn't have taken anything for granted. But that didn't mean that today hadn't kicked her to the ground and done a little dance on her corpse.
She couldn't stop crying. It wasn't the pretty and sweet, girly kind of crying. Her face was red and the sobs failing form her mouth were loud and frightening. They sounded as if she was about to suffocate on all of what had gone wrong.

Harry carefully unwrapped his arms from around her and began to gently push his shaking girlfriend towards her bed, where he pulled back the covers and helped her crawl in. And though she'd wanted to be in bed and never leave it, feeling her harry lay down behind her and wrap her back into his hold, somehow managed to make her heart smile just a little.
It was the only thing he could do for her. And she hoped that having him with her would facing reality make a little easier.

She took a deep breath. "This is the happiest day of my life."

Harry frowned upon hearing her whisper those words. "What was that?"

Y/n's gaze settled on the window. The dark clouds outside grew bigger and scarier, making her feel glad to be indoors and in the hold of a loved one.

"i heard that if you tell yourself that often enough, you can trick yourself into believing it."

She could feel him breath and squeeze her body to his.
"Hm."

They stayed silent. Her eyes still cried and her chest was still heavy and broken open. She couldn't, no matter how hard she tried, wrap her head around the fact that this had become a reality.

"I don't think it's working , though"she whispered and closed her tired eyes.