Harry Styles Oneshots // english

A Duet Sung By Himself #2

My swollem eyelids weighed down onto my cheeks and made it difficult for me to open my eyes to the bright light coming through the bedroom window. My hands brushed away the sticky remains of dry tears as i sat up, leaning my back against the bedpost. I took a deep breath and clenched both hands against my face, hiding behind them for a moment.
Facing Harry after last night's dilemma wouldn't be easy. It sickened me almost to think that for the first time ever, i actually dreaded to see him.
Though i was still quite upset after he'd let me down and the humiliation that brought with it, part of me felt guilty about locking him out from our bedroom and feared he was angry with me for it. We owned the world's most uncomfortable couch that i forced him to sleep on, knowing he'd surely complain.
Swingingboth legs over the edge  of the mattress i decided to put on a brave face and to not let my worry shine through, since i decided that what he'd done was worse. I wouldn't give him the chance to turn this around to me being the one to blame. Still, my stomach clenched in an uncomfortable knot and i brushed my sweaty palms against the soft fabric of my shirt. The key shook in my hand as i turned it in it's lock and my eyes squeezed shut when the door opened with a loud squeak. If he had already awaken, which i hoped he hadn't, he now certainly knew i was awake, too. I sighed and timidly made my way down the stairs, following the wishes of my grumbling tummy that lead me into the kitchen. A strange kind of relief overcame me when i found the room deserted and as clean as it had been the night before, indicating that Harry had yet to get up and make his coffee. As i did every morning, i picked out my favorite tea before my trembling fingers opened the cabinet which held our selection of mugs. I pulled out a blue one and closed it again, deciding that Harry could make his own damn drink.

"Hey."

I tensed and stayed facing away from where Harry's voice had come from, wishing he'd sense my reluctance towards him and conclude that he'd better leave me alone. Bt that wasn't how Harry's mind worked.

"Can't you look at me?" he asked quietly, his voice low and raspy from sleep.

My hands gripped the mug and squeezed the item as i stayed silent. Harry cleared his throat and a ruffling sound indicated him brushing through his hair.

"I understand that you can't. Wouldn't want to see me either if i were you."

I refused to reply still and lowered my gaze to the tea box sitting before me on the counter. The label and ingredients of it found my attention, at least some of it, as i tried to ignore the desperate man standing in the doorway.

"I'm so sorry, y/n," i heard him whisper, "Yesterday you asked me to be there for you and i let you down. That would have hurt me, too, and i'd give you a hard time for it as well, aso please don't feel bad for me now. I deserve it all."

"I know you do," I hissed, "You deserve every bit of my anger and i'll give it to you without your permission, thank you."

"Right, sorry," he apologized quickly, "S'not what i meant."

He swallowed loudly and i could practically feel how nervous he was radiating off of him. Contradicting his and my own words, i didn't want him to feel unhappy because of me and couldn't bare knowing his hurt could be easily undone by me. I was about to say something to ease his aching heart when i heard him stepping closer. My body froze when he kissed the back of my head, so lightly as if lips hadn't touched me at all.

"I'll go out for a bit, yeah? Know you don't want me here."

He was gone before my mind could catch up to what he'd said. His steps sounded further away and then his keys jiggled. The front door fell into its lock. And silence followed.
I huffed and leaned forward to rest both elbows on the counter, my face buried in my hands. Great. Fucking perfect.

"I'm such an idiot," i though to myself and bit down on my tongue so painfully tears shot to my eyes.

Why couldn't i every accept someone's apology, but had to drag out the argument for longer? All it brought was more hurt to the both of us and it fed into the distance i felt towards Harry, a distance he'd surely be aware of too. Having him gone didn't make things better, even though that's what he'd hoped for. I didn't want Harry to leave me alone, too scared he'd feel pushed away so far he couldn't come back anymore. But it was too late to call him back now and he didn't come back for several hours. It was close to three hours after he'd left when the front door opened with a loud and drawn out squeak, indicating his hesitation in opening it.

I shot out of the chair in the living room and got to my feet.

"Harry?" i called out.

"M'home," he spoke in reply and my heart ached quiet it sounded, compared to how he normally acted when he returned from somewhere.

"Where have you been?" i asked, my fingers pulling at the hems off my sleeves.

In a strange way it was easier to talk to him when i didn't have to see his face and couldn't read how upset i made him. It really didn't cross my mind anymore what we'd argued about and that it was he who felt like he was at fault. I didn't care about it anymore either. All i longed for was to spend the remaining time of today with the happy version of my boyfriend and not its hurting doppelganger. I heard him enter the living room area and i quickly lowered my gaze to the floor.

"I brought you lunch," he mumbled in defeat, "Your favorite from the italian restaurant we went to on Portobello Road."

"Harry," i sighed and turned around, the sight of him knocking all the air right from my lungs.

He met my gaze with hesitation, his eyes partly hidden beneath swollen and red lids, preventing me from seeing of their pretty green. The tip of his nose was red as well and he kept on making sniffling sounds.
A sound close to a whine escaped my throat and his entire body tensed when i crossed the distance between us, my arms finding their place around his neck.
Though he was surprised at first, Harry quickly regained himself and answered to my unexpected touches by embracing my waist and bringing my body closer to his.

"You cried," i gasped against the shell of his ear, before my lips pressed to the warm and soft skin, moving to his neck and jaw, leaving kiss after along the way.

Both tattooed arms of his squeezed me and a warm breath of his left a tingling feeling on the skin covering my collarbones. The guilt i had felt earlier increased when a sob escaped his lips and i felt fresh tears shooting to my eyes at the though of him in pain all through the night as well, while i had been just a door away, crossed my mind. Harry wasn't supposed to be sad. Not ever.

"You did too," he muttered quietly.

Harry shook his head when he heard my quiet whimper and responded by grabbing both of my thighs, though he hesitated to wait for my reaction to his touch.
The moment he recieved my small nod he lifted me up by my thights and helped me warp both legs around his narrow waist. I allowed him to carry me to the furniture that had served him as a bed the night before, where we settled down, him in a sitting position and me cuddled into his chest. My fingers held onto his heir as i gently forced his head up so i could seal my mouth to his. A groan was heard from him, heat shooting to every part of my body at the sound. My hands settled to rest on his shoulders, massaging and holding them while his squeezed my hips every now and again. I whimpered and whined, noth legs squeezing his waist as i concentrated on not letting our kisses break aparat.
After several morw moments his lips kissed mine one last time before pulling away, yet only so far so he could press them to my cheek and neck, sucking and boting the skin. My lungs ached and i gasped for breath, the feeling of his tongue licking over the sore skin of my jaw drove me crazy.

"I love you," i whispered and squeezed him tighter, "So, so much, Harry."

My hips met his and he groaned, instantly leaning in further.

"I love you so much, y/n," he swore.

"We're never arguing again," i gasped and laughed happily when his fingers began pulling at the zipper of the hoodie i was wearing.

"Never," he promised and groaned when i undid his belt, "But what we are going to do is buy a different fucking couch."