Harry Styles Oneshots // english

Regrets And A Happy Smile #2

"I don't understand what's so god damn hard about remembering to pick me up from the airport," Kira nagged, her slim fingers holding into her wine glass tightly, "How many girlfriends returning from her holidays do you fucking have, huh?"

"Just you," Harry muttered, his gaze had long lowered from her face to his feet, both of his shoudlers slack in discomfort.

"Then why is it you couldn't be there on time like you promised?"

Kira let the content of her glass drip into the sink. Harry's tummy turned and his heart beat rapidly as huilt ate away on his insides. Her eet noisily walked over to where he stood and he quickly looked up, too afraid it'd make her yell at him if he dared avoiding her eyes any longer.

"What had that head of yours so eccupied and distracted, Harry?"

Y/n. She had his mind racing and heart beating fast. It was her face he saw whenever her blinked and every girl he looked at, he thought for a moment to be her. Even in his sleep it was y/n's image who kept reappearing and haunted him. His best friend. The first girl he'd felt at home with. And also the first woman he'd left after three months of trying to be in a relationship, even thought he couldn't have ever cared about anyone as much as he did about her.
Harry didn't date saying so, though and kept his mouth sealed. Kira would have had his head as well as y/n's. She did not like any woman near HArry and should she learn of his true feelings for someone else, he feared of what lengths she would go. Additionally to that, Harry had left y/n because he'd wanted to, regartdless of jow much he missed her and regretted his actions now.
He'd left a woman heartbroken and couldn't find the strangth in him to do it again and go back to face the girl he loved.

"Nothing, Kira. There's nothing."

Kiraś clear eyes focused on him with such intensity it made his hands sweaty and a shudder run down his back.

"Good."

She gave him one last glare before stomping past him and into the living rom, where she sat down on the couch from which she'd ripped Harry from his sleep only minutes ago. A couch, where he'd had hsi first kiss with y/n and where he'd touched y/n's beautiful skin for the first time. They'd taken their time and gone slow, and so when he looked back now, he could still rememer every sensation, every sound she'd made and every inch of where he'd kissed her.
Harry lowered my gaze in shame as he was consumed with an aching pain.

He couldn't go in like this. Not one more day did he want to spend with the dreadful woman in his living room, and the girl he loved absent. But how he possibly tell Kira that he had been wrong to allow her back into his life? How would she ever accept that he wanted someone other than her?

Four weeks had past since Harry had walked out of his love's life and back into Kira's, and then he'd lost at least half of his confidence and trust. She constantly dragged him down with al; of the negativity she surrounded hersefl with. Never did she say something nice or do something kind. Even her kisses were cold and her hold felt more like a grip and sometimes almost bruised him.

"I need to leave," he whispered to himself, his voice barely a whisper, "I need to go to her and beg her to take me back."

Y/n could make it all okay. Only one touch and she could mend all pain Kira had inflicted on him would be gone, just like it had been when Kira had dumped him to the side for the first time. How had he ever been so stupid to think the woman who'd thrown him away like an old toy, could make him happier than the girl he'd called his closest friend for years? What insane logic had been messing with his head?

"Kira?" Harry called out, "Could you leave? Please?"

He didn't need to wait for an answer, soon her feet were moving quickly and she appeared in the doorway.

"What?"

Harry swallowed hard, finding t difficult to look into her wide eye. She resembled a woman gone mad, all flushed and distraught. She'd surely not expected me to try and kick her out.

"I want you to leave. And i wanna break up with you as well. Thiss... us... S'not good for me."

Harry didn't like how much his voice stuttered, but he couldn't look away either. Kira's mouth opened wide as her pupils filled with anger.

....

His feet were cold and Harry couldn't stop himself from shifting from side to side, his nerves continuing to slip through his fingers and he feared that when y/n arrived, there's be nothing left if him other than a pool of sweat on the floor. The flowers he held tightly shook just like hand did and his throat felt too fry to speak. Harry could barely make out the driveway to y/n's apartment building it was so dark and he shivered, the cold air hitting his skin easily through the thin material he was wearing. After Kira had finally stormed out of his home there hadn't been any patience left in him. He had to go see her instantly.
But now that he was standing in front of her home, he couldn't muster up the courage to walk up the short way up to her door and ring the bell.

Wahat could he say to her? That he was sorry? That he loved her? That though he had left her physically, his heart had always stayed with her? Would it suffice after he'd hurt her so deeply without even blinking?

Harry's attention was caught by a movement in the dark and he looked up to see his former best friend, lover and closest companion, walking up the her hime. Her shoulders were relaxed and his heart beat rapidly when he heard the faint noise of her laugh. Sickness crawled up his throat and his eyes stung. His y/n was healthy, hapy and calm, her hand held tightly by a man Harry didn't know. He was tall, looming over y/n similar to how Harry always used to do and his hair was of a light brown. Harry observed how the guy smiled when he noticed that y/n was laughing because of him, obviously proud as well as happy with himself. An ugly feeling of jealousy cursed through Harry's veins and he wanted to scream. Who was the guy? Why could he hold her when that was just what Harry wanted to do himself?
Harry watched in disbelief as y/n and the stranger continued to walk up her driveway, until they stood on the doorstep Harry had imagined he'd be kissinh y/n tonight. The blonde still held y/n's hand in his. Harry even noticed him moving his thumb over her palm in a gentle gesture.
Y/n lowered her gaze as a blush rose to her cheeks, a smile still pulling at the corner of her lips.
She looked so good. Not just in the sense of her appearance being beautiful, but in her health as well. Y/n truly seemed to be doing good and having founf something that made her happy. Or someone.
All Harry could do was swallow hard and blink rapidly, keeping his eyes from letting the tears fall as good as he could. His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach when the guy leaned in, not to kiss y/n's lips. only to sweetly kiss her cheek.

He was delicate with her, treated y/n as if she were the most precious thing he'd ever touch and as though couldn't quite figure her out.

He treated her just how Harry wishes he had, but had always failed to. Harry hadn't ever taken his time with her like that, had always tried to catch a proper snog instead of a small peck and had held so tight she'd remember his hold even after he'd left.
Harry regretted not having been gentler with her almost as much as je did leaving her. He missed his best friend so much and wished he could somehow change the presend and go back to those few weeks, so he would now be standing where the blonde was.

But that was impossible and his feet still felt incredibly cold as he stood there watching her doorstep. Y/n had long entered her cozy, little home and the guy had long driven off with hsi car, but only after he'd squeezed y/n and gaving buried his head in the crook of her neck, breathing her in. So similar to how Harry used to hus her.
Though he was long gone and though Harry knew exactly where y/n was, he couldn't find it in him to move. He realized that it wouldn't have been fair, and fair was just what he needed to be for her. Just once.
Y/n was happy. And that mattered most, even if it tore Harry's heart apart, that shhe was doing well, better even, now that he wasn't in her life anymore.