Harry Styles Oneshots // english

Words Aint Enough

.... now....

I was in love with him. Whole heartily and knees weakening in love. Even though we were destined to fail.
What Harry and I shared was special, a bond much stronger than anything else I knew. Or so I'd thought. From the moment we met he was magical to me and enchanting. I couldn't get enough of him. He was addictive.
And I would always do my best to keep him.
I liked what he liked, learned to care for the things he cared about and felt proud whenever he discovered as a happy surprise that I enjoyed the same things he did. Harry liked me a lot. I hoped that maybe if I adapted more to his likings he would learn to see in me what I had long begun to see in him. A plan that couldn't possibly work.
Times passed and my heart grew heavier. Far too long my infatuation with him received little response and though I had tried not to let it hurt me and had kept on telling myself that some of his love was better than none at all, it'd pained me. There was only so much I could take, but to my misfortunate I'd realized too late just how much I depended on him. Too much. So far too much.

Harry had contributed a lot to me staying oblivious to his lack of romantic feelings for me. So many times he'd stolen a kiss to my cheek, had held onto my hand or had pulled me in to sit on his lap for no apparent reason at all other than the fact that he'd wanted me to be near him.

„You're like my puzzle," Harry had murmured into my neck one evening after he'd pulled me onto his lap.

I'd giggled. „Because I'm confusing?"

„No," he'd laughed against my back, „It's because we fit so well. With you sitting like this... 'S nice, you know?"

I wish I would have had the guts to tell him right then and there.

My fingers had squeezed his before leaning back into him. „Yes, I know."

Always being the more confident between the two of us, I'd assumed those sweet gestures were him taking the steps I never dared to. Steps towards us being more than close friends.

But I'd been mistaken about quite a few things...

The first kiss he'd given me had been what doomed it all to change. His game of stolen touches and unspoken feelings couldn't be played for much longer without me going insane over how much my feelings tore at my heart. And what had instantly followed our first kiss was much more.
I remembered that morning so well. I had opened my eyes and found him asleep by my side. Unlike all of his other touches, which could have been excused, this hadn't been an accident. Kissing someone all night and whispering words over adoration... Sleeping with them. That doesn't just happen.
Especially not when you're as sober as Harry and I had been when we'd stumbled into bed and into each other's embrace.

As I'd lain there I allowed my hand to reach out and touch his warm skin gently.
Images of Harry's face only inches away from my own had clouded my memory. His kiss, foreign as I'd never got to taste his lips before and then familiar at the same time due to how many times I'd been staring at his mouth. Every curve, extra soft section and particularly warm spot of his mouth... I'd got to know them.

The smile was impossible to keep from my gracing my lips. Harry... my Harry, was naked and asleep in my bed, wrapped up in my sheets while I was wrapped up in his arms. His chest was pressed against my bare back making me feel safer than I'd ever felt before and when I turned my head just a little bit I could press my lips to one of his many tattoos. Even his legs were intertwined with my own. There would have been no untangling us even if we'd wanted to.

I had been so incredibly happy that morning. This had been the very first time Harry and I had crossed the fine line between friends and something more, something tender and intimate.
Though before him I'd always thought that said more, meant a proper relationship. I'd believed what followed sex between to people close to each other was a conversation over breakfast, a kiss on the doorstep and a promise for a first date. Anything that would lead to a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of commitment.