Scared Of Heights | Harry Edward Styles

5: What The Fuck Is Crisp Trepidation?

"So...you made any friends?" Alex had come over again and I was doing their make up.
"Uh no not really...I'm kind of scared"
"No ones gonna bite you!"
"Okay but I'm awkward! I-i don't know how to go up to people or just sit with people and talk. This girl Yasmine was pretty nice but...she's annoying..." I felt bad saying that but she truly did bug me to the point I wanted to gouge my eye balls out.
"Good luck then...also, I wanna hear the tea about your teacher!" She sat up and took a sip of her orange juice.

"His names Giovanni and he's soooooo hot. He's blonde with blue eyes and he has such a nice voice. A-and when he says my name..."
"Oh Zahra, are you crushing on your teacher!?"
"No ew! He's hot okay, I'm not exactly going to deny it. Like he's sooo good looking!"
"If I liked men, I'd agree but I haven't seen him and I hate men"
"Hating men is a lifestyle...oh and we're studying Lolita from next lesson." I joked.
"What!? Are you serious!?"
"Yeah...uh how are you though?"
"Im fine but...Lolita!? Of all novels?"
"Yeah uh it's fine though its just for school. You wanna go HMV again? Wanna get the new Parx LP" I was desperate to change the subject - also I wanted a new record.
"Yeah sure!"

We got the bus to HMV and dashed inside apprehensively.
"What you after?" I asked as I looked through the vinyls, desperate to find the bright orange exclusive.
"Girl in red for sure. My friend Susan wants the new varient"
"The blue one!? If you find two let me know!"
"Bingo! Two for thirty!? Is Parx on offer too?"
"It's not here...ugh well that's annoying"
"Just order it off that indie store. Wait I think I just found Norman Fucking Rockwell! On offer!? This I need"
"God really does have favourites" I joked as we headed to the till.

"Im so over uni already. Its so dead" I told her as we walked down the beach.
"Its better than school though right? I mean, you hated it there"
"I know I just feel lonely like I'm glad I live alone but making friends is so difficult"
"Maybe you'll make some soon enough, you never know. Sometimes it takes time to find your people"
"Maybe...I wish you went to my uni"
"I wish I did too. I hate being younger. Schools so annoying and everyone sucks - too many homophobes"
"Just shoot them all up - you're white so you wont go to jail"
Alex burst out laughing at what I said as we walked up to Tescos to get snacks.

"So...what are you after?" Alex asked as I looked at all the earrings. We were in a thrift store currently and I was super excited.
"Oh uhh I dunno anything really"
"Well I just found an old One Direction t shirt"
"Show!" I spun around to see her holding up an On The Road Again Tour t shirt.
"Here" she handed it to me and grinned. "Knew you'd want it"
"Its so hard finding One Direction merch nowadays"
"Yeah because they broke up years ago"
"Some hiatus" I sighed. "Their music bangs though"
"Never heard it...but Harry Styles is really cool"
"He is" I smiled softly. He wasn't my favourite out of all of them (Niall was) but I loved his music.

Harry Styles is one of most incredible multitalented person of our time. He has the voice of an angel and his writing is magical- his use of words is out of this word. Like what the fuck is 'crisp trepidation" - sike, who cares (crisp means firm or fresh depending on the context and trepidation is anxiety) it's beautiful. He wrote a song about a dying mother and the whole crowd was waving pride flags - and he was happy. He has so much gratitude it's unreal. He was in the worlds biggest boy band and despite going solo he stayed humble, grounded and kind. He has some killer dance moves when he's rocking around on stage and often rips his pants - but how have his heels not broken yet!? Not only does he sing but he acts - he played a war veteran in Dunkirk, a psycho husband in Don't Worry Darling and he's currently playing a gay police offer in My Policeman - my favourite book in the entire world.

Alex pulled my arm and said she had to go so we paid for our clothes then headed to the station.
"I have exams so I'll see you in a few weeks. Love you" Alex said as we shared a hug.
"Love you more. Good luck"