Scared Of Heights | Harry Edward Styles

32: A Proper Apology

I got an early night and awoke the next morning to the smell of breakfast. I rubbed my eyes and let out a yawn as i fluffed out my hair.
"Morning love!" Harry chirped. I turned my head to see him eating homemade pancakes.
"Hello Harry" I replied before i dropped back down onto the bed.
"You gotta be at uni in an hour, c'mon!" He put his plate down and sat at the edge of my bed.
"Ugh why?" I sighed.
"Because you're paying nine grand a year"

Fuck.

"You gonna help me up then?" I smiled warmly at his beautiful face-I mean...what!?
"Sure thing" He scooped me out of bed and whirled me around, causing me to laugh.
"Okay put me down!" I giggled. I don't know why but around Harry I just felt...joy...in my heart. I always just wanted to be close to him because of how he made me feel. Anyway, he put me down and let me dash to the bathroom to get ready.

I got ready into a brown turtleneck and brown plaid bottom and slipped on my doc martens. After putting on some eye liner i looked in the mirror and frowned...why does my body look like this? Millions of thoughts rushed to my head as I looked at my arms and legs and stomach...do I actually look like this!? I go outside looking like this!?

I tore my clothes off and looked for a new outfit and eventually decided on a cami top with some black wide leg jeans...I looked in the mirror and tears filled my eye. Why the fuck did I look like this!? Why wasn't I normal, why isnt my body normal?
"Love, y' gonna be late! Are you okay?" Harry called. I wiped my tears away and saw his sweater lying on the ground. I picked it up and threw it over my head...ah. Better. Covered everything. I opened the door to see Harry standing there, on his phone.
"Oh theres my sweater!" He exclaimed cheerfully.
"D-d'you mind? I-if i wear it?" I stammered.
"Course not. Looks nice on you"

Thank fuck.

"Thanks uhh...i'm...gonna go eat"
"Here, I'll join you. 'm gonna explore Brighton a bit today. Thinkin' of going to the lanes"
"Oooh you should. Theres a spare key in the cupboard above the sink by the way"
"Wh-y-you're trusting me? Here? On my own?"
"Yeah, of course. I finish at twelve anyway, you wanna meet in town?" I responded as we walked to the kitchen area.
"Yeah, sounds good! Hey uh could I ask you something?"
"Sure" I bit into my pancake and gave him my full attention.
"Have you...been to the doctors? Y'know, about your mental health"

Oh, wouldn't you like to know.

"Next question" I gulped.
"You haven't?"
"Uh...well I have buuut...uh...it didn't go well"
"What happened?"
"I-uh don't really wanna talk about it. But it just wasn't helpful" I gabbled awkwardly.
"Oh shit...I'm sorry about that"
"Its fine, I'm fine"
"Yknow you can tell me anything. A-at your own pace of course"
"Okay...uh thanks...I should go"
"Aw come here you" Harry pulled me into his arms and planted a soft kiss on my head. "Have a good day gorgeous"

Gorgeous.

Class went surprisingly well. Giovanni of course kept me behind to check if I was alright but was pleased I'd caught up well. I also made a new friend called Lavender who invited me to get lunch with them and their friends this weekend which was so sweet - plus they fucking hated Lolita like I did so that was a plus.

I walked down the corridor and headed to the canteen so I could get myself a snack before I headed to town but on the way someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see Delilah standing there awkwardly.
"Hi" she gulped.
"Hi" I replied dryly.
"Can we talk? Properly?" She asked hopefully.
"I have to meet someone" I responded.
"It'll be quick I promise. I just...I'm sorry that I didn't stick up for you. And I'm sorry I dismissed your mental health that one time"

What did she expect me to say? I still felt so much anger in my heart and wanted to scream at her for treating me badly.

"Uh it's fine. I-i gotta go" I gabbled before walking straight past her, towards the exit. I whipped my phone out and typed away to Harry.

whwjre ar wyou

Are you okay?

yes

whewre u at

Your typing is awful...I'm in a record store.

ok yr stull ar the kanes

be there in 19

10*

ffs

Okay, where are you?

uni. j left

I'll come to you

no

Yes

ill lock u out of my flat

I have a key?

i'll change the lock lol

Fuck sake..okay, please be safe

Ten minuets later I was hugging Harry who's tote bag was full of things he'd bought.
"How was uni?" He asked as my hand gripped his arm (which he still didn't mind).
"Eh. Same old, stupid fucking Lolita. Made a friend who I'm gonna see this weekend. Oh and  Delilah said sorry - properly this time"
"I'm really proud of you Miss" he smiled warmly. "But did you forgive her?"
"I dunno...I said 'it's fine' and walked off...I didn't really know how to reply...it's a lot, you'll hate me"
"I could never hate you love. C'mon, tell me whats up?"

"I feel so much anger towards her even though she apologised...I feel so bad Harry"
"You cant help what you feel. And she did really hurt you"
"I know...I just feel awful"
"There's no need to love. You handled it well and I'm proud of you. C'mon, let's get you some ice cream.
"But I'm lactose intolerant"

"When has that ever stopped you!?"