Scared Of Heights | Harry Edward Styles

51: Day Out

HARRYS POV (yup lmao)
I gazed at the gorgeous girl laying beside me in my t shirt.

I wish I could make her pain go away.

I was proud of her for opening up to me and telling me things even when it was at random times.

"What y' doing?" Ah, she was awake. And caught me staring.
"Admiring you" I smiled softly, as she rubbed her naked eyes.
"Sap" She joked. "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay. I slept great. How are you?"
"Tired. Dreading uni tomorrow" She replied.
"Better make the most of today then"
"We should" She agreed.

We then got out of bed and went to get ready for the day. One thing I've noticed about Zahra is that she's very clingy but it's really cute. She told me a while ago her love language was giving gifts and physical touch - and she proved both. Whenever she came to my house she'd bring flowers for me and whenever she was around me she'd cling to me. Even in the bathroom, she leaned against my side or or if she was sitting on the counter she'd grab my hands with her cold ones. When we were apart she'd text me as much as she should between class, work time and friend time.

Good morning and good night texts. Daily check ins. Sending me memes or things that reminded her of me. She once even sent me a photo of two girls: one was laying on the bed and one was doing the other ones make up, her legs on either side of her lover. We should do this, she'd typed. And that we did - Zahra did my make up and I loved it. Every now and then I'd lean up and kiss her lips causing her to giggle.

She was just...everything I could ever want.

"Oh god, I forgot to book my train" She sighed.
"It's okay, I did it" I replied as I tied her laces.
"I love you" She kissed my curls gently, causing me to chuckle and blush.
"I love you too darling. What d'you wanna do today?" I asked her.
"Uhhh...hug you a lot" No surprise there: "Ooh, we should do some baking. Maybe go on a walk? Uhhh..."
"C'mon let's go Soho. Remember you wanted to go EL&N?" i sat next to her on my bed and held her small hands gently.
"Fuck EL&N"
"Oh shut up you love their hot chocolate"
"Capitalists they are. Capitalists"
"You call everyone that. Lets goooo"
"What for breakfast?" She asked.
"Heck yeah! C'mon I'll get us a cab"
"Can we get the tube? Pleaseee? Dont be rich for like 5 minuets" she pleaded me.
"Hey!" I laughed fondly. "You know how to get there?" I knew she loved trains so this would definitely make her happy.
"Yup. Im a walking map. Plus it's fun"
"Okay love, I'm trusting you"

And like that, we walked to my nearest station and Zahra led the way. She hated loud noises and would cover her ears a lot when there were loud noises around so I let her wear my noise cancelling headphones. We sat opposite each other on the tube and exchanged nervous smiles and snickered - we were both really awkward people but thats what made us fit. I took the opportunity to take pictures of her when she wasn't looking but when she noticed, she covered her face but when our stop came she grabbed my hands and pulled me out of the carriage.

"So...how are you?" I asked her again. Whenever there was food involved for some reason she opened up more.
"I'm okay but...i feel a bit odd. Like...i feel like im dreaming? Pinch me" she said.
"Here" I grabbed her hands and squeezed them gently. "Still dreaming?"
"Uhh...yeah. Oh well. Its a nice dream" She smiled gently and pulled my hands up to her lips and planted soft kisses on them. I immediately felt butterflies in my stomach as her lips came in contact with my skin. "I love you Harry"

The way she said my name made my heart flutter.

"I love you too darling" I replied as she let go of my hands.
"Can you order for me?" She asked. She had recovered from her eating disorder a few months ago but hated calorie menues. She knew she'd be fine and they were just numbers but they still freaked her out a bit and hated just seeing them. It made sense to her.
"Of course love"
"Thank you" she snapped a photo of me whilst I was looking at the menu, causing me to giggle. I ordered some fries and a salad to share and our own sandwich each. I also got her some lemonade as i knew it was her favourite drink whilst I got water.

"So...what d'you wanna talk about today my love?" She asked, fiddling with the salad with her work. "I feel like I know nothing about you"
"I dunno what else to tell you. I've told you almost everything" I chuckled.
"Whats your...Mum like?" She asked timidly.
"She's lovely" I was surprised she wanted to hear about my Mum. She never spoke about hers - she dodged family questions.
"In...what way?"

"She's just always been so lovely. She's taught me to be kind and has supported me no matter what. Whenever we argued when I was younger I'd write her apology letters and she's kept them to this day. I love her so much. And...I dont know what I'd do without her"
"I need to go to the bathroom" Zahra gabbled. Her eyes were full of tears however.
"Sure take your time" I replied as she dashed off.

She returned twenty minuets later, her eyes red.
"Are you okay love?" I asked her.
"Uh yeah...I just...I remembered something sad. I'll be fine" She replied. She didn't eat anything else afterwards.
"D'you wanna get out of here?" I asked her.
"Can we?"

I asked a kind waiter nearby if we could take out food for takeaway then we headed off.

The tube journey home was silent. I put my arm round my girl and she shifted closer to me, clutching my other hand.

"Zahra" I stopped short and looked at her. "What's up?"
"Nothing, I'm just not in a talking mood"
"Babe, I-I love you and I wanna be there for you but...what can I do to make you trust me?"
"Harry, can we talk about this later?" She pleaded me.
"It just...i wanna be there for you but I don't even know whats going on!" Tears were streaming down my cheeks at this point.
"Harry. Let's go home and talk there. Okay?"

We arrived to mine and I just cried more. My poor lover held me in her arms, comforting me as best as she could.
"Harry, my love" She wiped my tears away and held my cheeks with her hands. "I promise you I'll be okay. I just need you to be patient with me. If I'm too much, I'll stop seeing yo-"
"No! No, darling. I love you so much and you arent too much. We'll be okay" I sniffled. "I'm sorry"
"Don't be sorry" She giggled fondly. "I love you more"
"Shut up" I kissed her lips gently and gazed into her eyes.
"You're adorable, you know?" she smiled weakly.
"Sorry, I'm usually the common denominator in relationships"
"Guess that makes two of us"

I thought I was her first boyfriend.