Scared Of Heights | Harry Edward Styles

26: Harrys Friend

Tw mentions of suicide

I'd fallen asleep a few minuets later and when I'd woken up Harry had tidied up the flat a bit and was on his phone. He noticed I'd awoken and put his phone down as I rubbed my eyes.
"How was your nap love?" He asked kindly.
"Nice" I smiled softly - because it truly was.
"That's good, 'm glad to hear that. You feeling a bit better?"
"Not completely but...good enough" I replied, sitting up and crossing my legs as I checked the time on my phone. "Uh...what time d'you need to get back?"
"Im not really doing anything for a while. I can stay for as long as you need me to"

"What as in...stay over?"
"Why not?"
"A-are you sure?"
"I can even get a hotel down the road"
"Okay no. No, don't do that"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want you spending money just to see if my sorry ass is okay...wait I need a snack"
"Ooh, on your way can you get the strawberries out of the fridge?"

I did as requested and came back with strawberries for Harry and Doritos for me.
"Anyway...I don't want you paying for a hotel for god knows how long. And also...i feel bad if you stay here cause you have a life"
"Look, I don't trust you to be here alone after what you told me. I love you too much to let you do anything to yourself" I noticed he had tears in his eyes as he spoke and his voice was cracking. "I-i'm sorry I just...I really care about you"
"Don't cry" I gave him a hug as he sniffled and blinked back tears. "Your stuffs all the way in London though"
"Lets go get it then"

"Wh-now?" I pulled away in surprise.
"It's only five. C'mon, lets get my stuff then come back"
"Wh-Harry, you do realise what you're doing right? Like I know we've been friends for a few months but...I just...are you sure you want to this?"
"I just wanna be here for you, even for a week or two. I just...I worry about you a lot and..."
"And what? Whats wrong?"

I knew he was going to cry for real this time...he couldn't even hold it back. He had tears spilling down his cheeks which he didn't even bother wiping away.
"I-my...my friend...w-when I was younger...he...he died. S-suicide. I-i fucking miss him more everyday and I just...I cant fucking lose you Zahra. I-i still dream about him sometimes and I know it was probably 12 years ago but it hurts"

Harry was fully sobbing his heart out now. I'd never seen him so...vulnerable. I immediately pulled him into my arms and comforted him to the best of my ability.
"Harry, I'm so sorry" I whispered into his dark curls.
"I just I-I cant lose anyone else. I've lost too many people" He cried "Please just...let me be there for you"
"Harry, you cant fix me o-or take away my problems"
"I-i know but I-i just want to be there for you as much as I can. I'm sorry, I know I'm being a lot you dont need to say yes..."
"Its okay. Its okay. You just...care. A lot" I wiped his tears away gently and leaned on his shoulder. "Well...how fars London?"