"I like going out for food with people...it's just...nice"
We were sitting in Wagas eating chicken katsu curry (his was vegan) and talking about...me. I was attempting to open up to Harry after knowing him for months.
"I'm sorry, I don't like opening up" I added.
"It's okay. It's a process. But can I ask you why?"
"I don't like people knowing things because they could use it against me"
"Has that...happened before?"
"Yeah...also i just...i build up lots of trust with people then they just leave. And i don't know why"
"What, they just go? Without explaining?"
"Yeah. Ghosted. Being alones better"
"Why d'you think that love?"
"If you don't let anyone in, no one can hurt you. I...don't wanna be hurt again. That's why I'm scared to open up..."
Harrys eyes filled with tears.
"Wow" he sniffled. "God"
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"I'll be fine my love" He gripped my hand and. "And you will be too. I'm not going to force you to open up to me. But you can always talk to me"
"Thank you Harry" I lifted his hand up gently and kissed it, causing a smile to grow on his face.
"Why don't we go back to yours after and yk...maybe look into some coping mechanisms"
"Oh I did"
"You did? When?"
"Uhh...well over the years I have. But it's all a lot"
He really wanted me to see a doctor but I wasn't ready and I was afraid because of past experiences.
"When I was 15, my counsellor told meto take a bath if she felt sad. I tried to drown herself later that night" I told him without thinking.
"Oh my god"
"Yeah...no one really gives a shit about teenagers mental health so I gave up when I was younger"
"What else did they say?" His hands were literally shaking so I took hold of then again.
"Have a cup of tea and go for a walk...I burnt myself on purpose and deliberately got lost so I'd die. Oh and i was told everything was confidential but they told my parents a lot of personal shit about me and well...that didn't go well..."
Tears were rolling down Harrys cheeks.
"Don't cry. It was ages ago" i said.
"That doesn't make it any better!" He was holding my hands tighter now causing me to pull away as it hurt. "Sorry"
"It's okay. C'mon, let's get out of here" I turned to a pretty waitress with bright pink hair and asked if we could take out food for takeaway.
We went back to mine and sat on the floor in my room in silence.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"Yeah I just...I can't believe that happened to you"
"The mental health services for teenagers are underfunded..."
"Its so shitty baby. God..." He sniffled and looked at me. "The adult mental health services are way better darling. And if you ever want to go see anyone about your health, please let me know. I would never force you but I want whats best for you"
"I know. I love you" i reached over and squeezed his hand.
"I love you too angel. Oh also, Lavender texted me on Instagram. They're worried about you"
"I haven't been on my phone today"
"You should give them a call. Delilahs worried too"
"I'll text the chat in a bit, I'm tired"
"Does someone need cuddles?" He grinned cheekily.
"Maaaaaybe..."
Minuets later Harry was in his boxers and I was in his t shirt. His arms were round me and he planted soft kisses on my head from time to time and played with my hair whilst he watched tv. Meanwhile I was texting my friends.
gay shit ft zahra the het
me: hi
L: ZAHRA
L: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
L: INWAS WORIRED
D: BESTIE OMG HI
me: hi r u guys ok
L: WHAT
L: UM
L: BESTIE ARE YOU OKAY
D: we havent heard from you since yesterday + you didnt come in :(
me: yuh
L: I texted Harry and he told me he didn't want to say anything without ur consent
me: aw :'). I leaned up and kissed his cheek before going back to my phone
D: OMG STOP SIMPIJG R U OK
me: i'll be fine just bad mh days im fine harry came over at 5am the other day and has been with me since
L: THANK GOD
L: harry u whore why r u such a good bf
"Lavender says you're a good boyfriend" I told him.
"Tell them thank you" He smiled softly.
m: beb says thank u
D: IS HE WITH U RIGHT NOW
me: yuh ofc
L: ugh simp
L: glad ur okay though im sorry for snapping at you the other day when you didn't eat
D: and im sorry giovanni is a dickhead if it makes u feel better he spilt coffee today
me: hope he burnt himself x
L: LMAO SAME
L: love u bestie
D: love you xxxxx
me: gays smh also lav dw about it
L: proud to be xxxxxx
me: LMAO im gonna cuddle harry ily guys be safe ill be back tmrw
D: YAY GN ILY !!
L: Its 4PM
D: And? nap time bitches
me: lol
D: dont fuck him
me: what if i already did
L: LMAOOOOO BYE no fr bye ,,,zahra needs love
I put my phone down and shifted closer to Harry.
"How did it go?" He asked.
"Great. Lavender told me not to fuck you"
"Gotta love Lavender" He chuckled.
"I love you though" I said shyly.
"I love you too baby"
YOU ARE READING
Scared Of Heights | Harry Edward Styles
Fanfiction"If you don't let anyone in, no one can hurt you" When an introverted young adult moves out of her hometown to study, leaving behind her traumatic backstory, she begins her journey of a new life. But along the way she meets a fabulous rockstar
