Scared Of Heights | Harry Edward Styles

58: Kiss

ZAHRAS POV
"Maybe" I muttered, throwing my cigarette on the ground and took another out of my pocket.

Maybe I did want to kill myself - I was fucking tired of this.

Tired of the pain, loss and betrayal. Dying makes it all go away. No more feelings or being hurt. Just numbness.

"Scuse me Miss, are you alright?" An Irish accent spoke. For God sake, not another person asking if I was okay. I carried on walking but a tall figure stood in front of me and when I saw who it was I wanted to sob.

It was Harrys best friend AND my favourite member of One Direction - Niall Horan.

"Oh no don't cry, it's okay! Would you like a hug?" He asked, when he noticed tears were streaming down my cheeks.
"I uh..." I didn't really know what to say.
"I won't bite love" He chuckled. "C'mere"

Yeah, I hugged Niall Horan. Be jealous.

"A-are you...here to see Harry?" I sniffled.
"Uh yeah. He went MIA for a while and we all got worried" He replied.
"We?"
"Friends and family. But how are you holding up?" He asked kindly.
"Isn't it obvious?" 
"Well yeah. I'm sorry about what he did"
"H-he told you?"
"He told me he broke your trust. And that you had a personality disorder - that part he shouldn't have told me"
"Dickhead" I sighed. "God and to think I miss him"
"I know y' do. But hey, everything will be okay"
"I hope...um how are you?"
"Angry at my best friend but also hoping he'll be okay: living life really"
"Must be nice" I scoffed playfully.

The Irishman let out a chuckle.
"He told me I'm y' favourite" He smirked.
"Can't deny it" I joked. "Uhm I need to go"
"Of course, yeah. I'm glad we finally met"
"Me too. Um, see you around..."
"See ya" He patted my shoulder before we both parted ways.

Well that was fucking awkward.

I got back to my flat to see the flowers Harry got me had died...he collected his hoodie a while ago while I was at uni and had also left flowers behind...which he'd put in water and everything. I didn't understand why he did that but he did, along with stocking up my fridge. I wanted to hate him and I did partially but another part of me loved him and craved his presence.

Sobs escaped my mouth and filled my empty house as I dropped my bag. I couldn't take the loneliness anymore. I'd pushed away my family, Harry, my friends...I was alone.

I slid the cold metal against my wrists, weeping for the pain to stop. The emotional pain that was beating me up inside and tearing me apart.
"Harry! Harry no, don't open that door! Leave her alone!" I heard from outside.
"Niall I can hear her crying from all the way over here!" Harry was outside my fucking flat.
"Okay so can I! She needs to be alone, c'mon!"
I opened the door slowly to see Harry and Niall across the road arguing. They spotted me staring then looked down at my socks. I furrowed my eyebrows then realised what they were staring at.

Blood had dripped down onto my socks from my wrist.

I was about to go inside and close the door but Harry was faster and stronger. 
"Love whats happened? W-what have you done?" He tried taking my hand but I pleaded him not to touch me, causing him to back away.
"C'mon let me help you" He begged me.
"I don't need help! Leave me alone!" I sobbed. Harrys eyes filled with tears too. He wanted to fix things and help me but he knew he couldn't.

I forgot Niall was here - then he stepped in my blood. Well, that was fucking grand!

"Oh my god, I should call you an ambulance"
"It's fine! I-i've dealt with this before. I-i just need to be alone" I gabbled.
"No. You'll only do it again" Harry spoke.
"We aren't dating anymore, fuck off!" I shot.
"You'll fucking die!"
"Good!"

The room went quiet. 

"I'm really sorry you had to see this" I said to Niall. 
"Don't worry about it. But I really think you should call a friend or something" He replied.
"I-I will" I sniffled. I was about to reach for my phone but my wrist was still dripping with blood.
"Please. Just let me do one last thing for you you" Harry pleaded me, tears rolling down his cheek.

I was too weak to protest. I stared off into distance whilst Harry cleaned my wrist and wrapped it up. Niall took my phone and rang my friends who rushed over in tears.
"Oh darling whats happened?" Delilah dashed inside holding two overnight bags whilst Lavender was sobbing. Niall pulled them out of the room to explain while Harry carefully bandage my wrist up.
"How...do you know how to do it?" I asked him timidly.
"My friend" He replied before he finished. But before he let go of me, he planted a kiss on my wrist. "Uh...I'm sorry about earlier. It seems...I have a saviour complex"
"Took you long enough to figure that out" I scoffed.
"Yeah uh...I'll leave you alone though. I hope you'll be okay"
"You too"

I wanted to kiss him so badly. I missed him so much.

"Harry" I said quietly.
"Yeah?" He looked up as he finished tidying up.
"Uhm...i-i know i said i...didn't want to see you but...c-can i...kiss you? One more time. Please?"
Harry didn't even hesitate. He grabbed my cheeks connected our lips together gently. I pulled him closer to me and gripped onto his neck, savouring every moment.

We finally pulled away, breathless.
"Never again" I mumbled to myself
"Yeah uh...i agree" He replied awkwardly, letting go of me.
"Harry? You ready to go?" Niall called.
"Uh yeah!" Harry turned to me. "Goodbye Zahra"
"Bye"