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Chapter 32: After

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~Days Later~

~(Y/N)~

After being discharged, I was free to go home. I wanted to forget what happened to me, but since then I've been having night terrors. I was reliving it all over again, the pain the degrading. All of it.

I asked Levi if we could just hurry up and go, but he wanted to stay to attend Lizzi's funeral. Which was tomorrow, lying in bed with my back to Levi I let out a sigh. It was dark, still early in the morning.

We had our bags packed with the ingredients ready to go. My mother had been helping me stay off the news, but it didn't stop reporters from coming over trying to ask questions. Levi tried to kick some off our property but I let in a few.

I wanted to expose Andrew and what he did to me. Spread awareness that there were men...even women like him, like my father out there who actually get away with what they do. And I wanted the people who suffered the same thing I have to feel more confident with coming forward.

I heard shuffling from behind me, that's when I felt Levi's chest press against me. Levi's been really good with helping me get through this, he's been treading lightly making sure I was getting better. Even though half the time I was sure he had absolutely no clue on what he was doing, but I loved that he was trying.

Wrapping his arms around me he presses a soft kiss on my shoulder. "You sleep okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," I mutter.

He pulls me in and holds me tight. Everything seemed to be slowly going back to normal. Closing my eyes again I let out a sigh and rest my hands on top of his. Turning in his arms I face him, his eyes were still open of course. "Can I ask you something?" I ask.

He nods his head. "Why did you wait to tell me about your memories?" I ask.

He sighs and pulls back a bit. "I'm not gonna fight with you about it, I just wanna know," I tell him.

Levi shrugs his shoulders. "I didn't want to worry you... you were having such a good time with your family. Not to mention that one night we were fighting...after Andrew jumped you. I didn't want you to miss out on spending time with your family." he says.

I let out a sigh, pursing my lips together in a weak smile I shake my head and turn on my back. "Then I was stupid to be mad at you," I mutter.

"You had every right. I shouldn't have kept it a secret," he says.

With a sigh, I turn back on my side, my hand wraps around to the back of his neck pulling him towards me. Pressing my lips against his I keep him close, slowly he melts into the kiss and pulls me in closer as well.

After parting I press my forehead against his. "I swear...I can never stay mad at you." I mutter.

He hums softly nuzzling his nose against mine. "Neither can I." he whispers. Darting my head down I hide my face in the crook of his neck. Holding me close he lets out a sigh and for once tonight we both slept peacefully.

~Dream/Memory~

Another rainy day at the hideout which only meant one thing. No Levi. Walking along the halls I made my way to Levi's room. Stopping at his door I take in a deep breath and look around making sure no one saw me. Even when things had gone to shit, and we were in hiding Levi still rather stay in bed on rainy days.

The hallway was empty thankful. With my hand on the knob, I twist it and push it inward, quickly I slip into the dark room and shut the door again. As assumed I found Levi laying on his bed with the covers over his shoulders.

Although things between him and I were in an odd place, I didn't want to leave him alone. Yesterday we were ambushed by Kenny's squad, we were currently in another location hiding out with Sannes. They hadn't interrogated him yet because we were waiting for Hanji.

Standing beside the bed I kneel down, he had been facing me but his eyes were shut tightly. Although I had denied him so much these past few days, deep down it was completely different. I needed to get back home, being in this time would eventually mess things up. But for now, all I could think was how I wanted to stay by his side and make sure he'd be okay. Gently I lay my hand on the side of his head, his eyes quickly open, and look directly at me.

He didn't tell me to go away or to take my hand off of him. He just laid there staring at me, he let out a sigh just before his right hand came and gripped the hand I had on his head. "I didn't hear you come in," he mutters.

I slide in a little closer as my thumb gently brushes back and forth on his face. "I didn't want to disturb you in case you were asleep, I just didn't want to leave you alone today," I mutter. As sweet as it sounds, part of me hoped he didn't take it as a sign of showing affection for him. But I was beginning to care less and less if my feelings showed.

"Thank you," he mutters before turning his head up, he held my hand as his head turned. My hand covered his mouth gently only because he held it there and I felt his lips press into it as he kisses it softly. That's when something had sparked in me, even if I was upset with him over kissing me in front of everyone I couldn't stay mad at him for long.

"Hanji should be here in a few hours... do you think you'll be okay by then?" I ask softly.

Quickly he nods his head. Bringing my hand off his mouth I lean over him and rest my hand on the edge of the bed. Leaning down over his mouth I watched him look at me in slight confusion, but before he could say anything I shut my eyes and press my lips into his softly. His lips were soft as always, and I was becoming more addicted to his kisses that I couldn't be alone with him without thinking about his lips on mine.

After a couple of seconds, before I could lose myself to the kiss I pull away but stay close to him. "Find me after you interrogate Sannes..." I whisper. After telling him that I stood up with my eyes still locked on his, he looked as if he was about to jump out of bed and tackle me to the ground.

I would've let him, but as I slowly moved away back to the door he didn't move once. I could see he was trying to restrain himself and he was doing a pretty good job at holding back, because I got out without being tackled.

I planned to confess, no matter how bad of an idea it was, there was no denying what I felt for him. I didn't want to hurt him anymore.

~Dream/Memory Over~



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