Out of Time (Loki x Reader)

Chapter 42: Christmas Eve

Loki's POV

It had been months. 7 and a half, to be exact. She continues to be in a dreamlike state. She's stable but remains unconscious.

It is December 24th.

The snow sticks to the ground of New York City. And for the first time in a long time, I grew restless. The sun wasn't shining as it used to. The gloom clouds rolled over the sky, I've counted them as much as I could before I became irritated.

I watched the people below, slowly walk the sideways, cross streets, laugh, drink warm and steaming drinks and as I watched them, I noticed a feeling I knew all to well.

I was envious.

Envious of the happiness they could encounter with the people they walked with. Envious of the lack of responsibility they had, compared to me.

Envious of the love they could reciprocate.

I huffed and turned my gaze to the medical ward. It was hard to be in there. Knowing the walls of that empty room by heart, studying them, gave me a sense of sadness.

I'm slowly losing hope.

I watched as Bruce walked around the lab and then walked into her room. My gaze quickly dissipated. That was before I saw Tony Stark rush into her room.

I got to my feet and walked to the two men. Bruce was frantically looking through paper work while Tony was shouting.

"What do you mean?" Tony shouted.

"I don't know! It just dropped out of no where!" Bruce said while he quickly rushed to her bedside and began fixing her charts and IV bags.

"What is happening?" I asked now getting anxious with the tension in the room. I didn't get an answer before her heart beat monitor beeped and then went silent.

Her heart just stopped.

"Y/n?" I quickly asked, growing more and more confused while Bruce began chest compressions. Tony rushed to his side and began breathing heavily.

"Come on kid." He whispered harshly.

As the monitor beeped, my gaze shot to it, her heart started up again. This was happening less and less, not as frequently as when we first arrived. But now it felt like we were back at square one.

This hadn't happened in 3 months.

We thought she was pulling through.

Everyone relaxed, except me. I sat down in the chair next to the large window, close to her bed and sat. I put my hand to my chin and clenched my jaw.

"You need to sleep Loki." Tony finally said, speaking up after the incident. I didn't respond. Who was he to tell me what to do?

I'm losing my mind.

"Loki-"

"Don't, Stark." Tony stopped in his sentence before talking once more.

"It's Christmas Eve," he paused. I didn't turn to him. I knew what day it was.

"She'd want you to enjoy it." Tony finally finished.

"You don't know what she'd want." I finally snapped. Not straying my graze from the falling snow.

"I know she'd want you to be eating properly. She'd want you to be yourself." Tony answered swiftly, not angered by my stubbornness, but concerned.

"I don't know who I am without her." I stated. Tony nodded and headed for the door while I continued to stare out of the window.

It was true, all this time while she was gone, I was this person I couldn't recognize. A year ago, I was Loki of Asgard, the heir to the throne of Jötunheim. I was a King.