𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 || 𝐃.𝐌

Chapter 40

-Y/n's POV-

It has been three weeks since the Boggart cabinet incident and also since that night, which I wanted to forget.

I have been trying my best to avoid Draco at all costs because I knew I would just be miserable again in the evenings until 3 in the morning.

Lately, I have been getting sleepy even when in the middle of the class or studying with Luna and Daphne in the Library.

They have noticed too that I was looking rather I bit tired.

Well, I have been really tired just a week after that had happened between the two of us or I have been maybe I have been tired since I'm stressing about my own problems, the divorce or if I should stay. I still couldn't figure out what would be the best for me.

Yes, I do love him, but...he never trusted me and maybe I'll end up getting hurt again.

I shook my head lightly and focused back on sketching.

As my eyes gazed down at my sketchbook, I noticed that I was drawing HIM. I was fucking drawing Draco Malfoy all the time without even realizing it and with very deep thoughts.

It's now clear that I couldn't get him off my mind.

I slammed my sketchbook and threw it on my pillow.

"Why couldn't I just easily get you off my mind," I sighed, looking at the sketchbook.

I got out of my bed and went to my wardrobe to get something to wear, for I have to meet up with Luna at the black lake. I promised her that we would be studying Magical Creatures.

Daphne, though, has gone out on a date with the guy she met at the Party. His name is Lucas Hudson, a Hufflepuff student. He's very nice and quite a gentleman, and treats Daphne with respect as he should be. They have been hanging out for the past few weeks, and sometimes, Daphne would take him with us. He doesn't mind though.

As I opened the wardrobe, I saw the white gift box that has been sitting there since Christmas.

When I realized that the letters are from him, Draco, written by Goyle, I then realized that this gift was from him.

It was a beautiful necklace, yes...but, I don't know if I could wear it, and if I give it back, he'll just force me to talk to him or face him. That I couldn't bear to happen, facing him and looking deeply at his beautiful mesmerizing eyes that I could get lost in within seconds.

I shook my head lightly and grabbed the clothes from the hanger and closed the door of the cabinet, then got dressed.

I went out of my dorm, heading to the black lake.

☁︎︎ ❀ ☁︎

As I got to the Black Lake, I found Luna looking at her book with Neville. I didn't expect Neville is going to join us, but it's alright.

They are both sitting down on a log under a tree. The tree was not the tree where Michael and I usually hang out. They were under an oak tree, reading somehow not a book for magical creatures, but for Charms.

I sat down next to Luna and looked at what they are both looking at.

"What are you guys looking at?" I asked, smiling.

Neville almost gave out a little jump, surprised by my presence, for he was too much focused on the book that they are reading.

"Y/n, you scared me to death." Neville's hand was placed on his chest, trying to calm himself down.

"I'm sorry," I chuckled. "But what are you guys looking at?"

"We are looking on how to produce a Patronus Charm," Luna replied. "It's really interesting. Have you found out what your Patronus looks like?"

"Actually, no," I replied

"Do you want to know what it was?" Asked Neville.

"You?" I asked them both.

They both nodded and that leaves me the only person in the group right now, who hasn't produced a Patronus.

"Don't worry, we can help you. Do not fret." Assured Luna. "Come, we'll help you practice in the forest so no one could see us."

We stood up from the log and headed inside the forest.

The forest was nothing like the forbidden forest. This part of the forest is the forest where students are allowed to come and go. This is where the Care of Magical Creatures Class was held when we are being introduced to different varieties of Magical Creatures.

Neville sat down on a tree trunk that was cut, and he gazed upon us to watch.

"Just think of something or the moments that made you happy and you would be able to produce your Patronus," Luna told. "Swish your wand and say the incantation, and oh, don't forget to focus."

I nodded, clearing my throat and pointing the wand at the open air.

I thought of something very memorable, a memory that makes me happy, the moments I spent with my family.

With that, I swished my wand, saying the incantation, "Expecto Patronum."

But only just a formless blue light like dust, flowing down, appeared.

This wasn't going to be easy as I expected it to be.

"Don't worry, you still need some practice," said Neville. "I got mine for a bit of a long time. It wasn't really that easy."

"Thank you, Neville." I smiled at him.

☁︎︎ ❀ ☁︎

Producing my Patronus was truly hard. I took many attempts, but all ended just into a formless bluish light.

We walked back to the castle at 5 and bid each others goodbyes in the entrance as we part ways.

I was truly curious about what would my Patronus be, although I was curious more about what type of happy memories I should think of.

I have thought about almost everything, the moments with my friends and my family, but the charm wouldn't form. It didn't work.

The hallways to the common room were empty. It was a bit dark now, that is because it is almost in the evening and torches on the wall were lit up already.

I was alone until I felt someone grab my hand and pin me on the wall, making me meet his icy grey eyes.

It was him...Draco...In front of me.

"Why do you keep on ignoring me?" He asked, his voice was hinting that he's worried.

"Is it not clear that I do not want to talk to you, Malfoy?" I glared, about to escape from him, but he placed both his hands in each side of me, cornering me, so I couldn't escape from his presence.

His one hand parted from the wall and placed it on my chin, lifting it and making me look at him again. Then, both of his hands now are cupped up on my cheeks, and he rested his forehead unto mine as our eyes closed.

"Please don't ignore me like that." His voice softened. "I couldn't bear it."

The mint and strong cologne of his lingered up to my nose.

I miss it. It reminded me of when he hugged me tightly into his arms.

"Draco, please let me go...Someone might see us. This is a public area." I mumbled.

He leaned as our eyes opened. He looked deeply into my eyes.

"You always say that," he said, a hint of sadness in his voice. "Please talk to me. I'm sorry that I kissed Pansy. She doesn't know that we're married, so I still have to keep it the way we are."

"Draco, I beg you, let me go before someone suspects us, let alone find out that...we're married."

He leaned closer, about to kiss me, but I turned my head, dodging from his kiss.

He slowly let go of my cheeks, letting me go.

I started walking back to my pace without giving him another word because if I did, tears would just burst out at any moment.

I loved him, I do, but what about now? Do I still love him?