Marvel Women Imagines

i'll always be here - 2 | fluff (n.r.)

'...you have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome,'

You kept replaying the doctors words over in your head. Your diagnosis and what it meant for your life. It's not that you weren't grateful to have a diagnosis, it was just a surprise to find out you had a life altering chronic condition. You were exhausted. It had taken a year and a half since Natasha first convinced you to go to the doctors. Finding the right doctor was the hardest part. Finding one that didn't tell you that your pain was all in your head.

Natasha grew frustrated with the lack of care doctors were showing. But she did her best to keep her frustrations to herself. She didn't want to project onto you and cause you more stress and pain than you were already in. Natasha was there the whole process. She took time away from missions and work so she could attend all of your appointments. Doctors were prescribing you with medications like they were handing out candy. None of them seeming to work. You had grown tired throughout that year. Your fainting was becoming more often. You were slowly declining. Not being able to walk or stand for a long time compared to what you were used to, it was deflating. Natasha would give you a reassuring smile after every failed doctors visits or medication that didn't work.

You had become so dependant on Natasha you hated it. Often you were taking your frustrations out on her. You knew it wasn't right but Natasha let you do it. She knew you didn't mean it and that you loved her. Natasha was understanding in the way you had to grieve your previous life and everything you knew to be normal. Eventually you found a doctor who had knowledge in the area of dysautonomia. From there you worked your way through tests that led you to your final diagnosis.

When you left that appointment, Natasha thanked the doctor for you. You were still trying to process all of the information that was presented to you. Natasha picked up all of the documents relating to your pain management strategies, as well as an action plan for your condition. The first few days Natasha held you while you let out all of your emotions. She was nothing but the perfect girlfriend.

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'Natty, when does it get better?' You were laying down in bed after having a flare up. You were trying your best but days like today you were reminded of how you couldn't do everything you could before.

'Oh detka,' Natasha knelt down beside the bed, her hand softly touching your head, stroking gently. The action comforted your racing thoughts, slowing them down so you could try and relax, 'It's all about how you look at things. Your own perception. No one thinks of you as any less of an avenger or any less of a person just because of your new normal,' Natasha smiled, she knew everyone was perfectly fine with you sorting out their notes and writing up their mission reports and all the admin work for them. The jokes from the team were definitely helping you adjust to your new life, 'To me, you're still the same strong, brave, independent Y/N that I know. You have a spirit that can never be crushed, you're the glue that holds this team together. Just by the energy you radiate no one has bad days when you're around. The teams personal cheerleader and we'll always be yours,'

Natasha was there every day onwards, helping give you the strength mentally when you didn't have the strength physically. With her help you were able to grieve the life you once knew and begin life 2.0 as you called it. Your new normal was waiting for you to fully embrace it. There was a lot of adjustments for you to make and on the days where you felt like fighting wasn't worth it, Natasha always knew the right words to say.

'I said this before and I'll say it again, on your worst of days I'll be here for you. I would never let you go through this alone. I'm not leaving or going anywhere. You're mine, illnesses and all. It's the whole package or nothing and I choose to have all of you,'