The Adopted Cullen

Chapter 37

"Grace. Grace, come on. Wake up. It's just a nightmare." I wake up, panting, as I frantically look around the room.

"Hey, hey. Shh, you're ok. We're all here. Calm down, darlin'." I turn towards Jasper and Edward and nod slightly, laying back down with a sigh.

"I'm good. Thank you."

I catch Jasper and Edward send each other small glances before they each sit on one side of my bed, forcing me to sit up and face them.

"Grace, this has been going on for two weeks. Are you sure you're ok?" I nod and force a small smile. "I'm ok. Just nightmares. No harm done."

"Princess, it's the same dream each night, or one similar to it. Are you sure nothing happened at La Push? You've been avoiding the pack as much as you can. Seth is concerned, and so are we."

I wipe my thoughts clean. "I'm sure. I'm just too worried about school at the moment to go see them. I will this week sometime."

Jasper sighs and says, "Come on, Grace. I didn't want to call you out on it. I know you're lying. Why did Sam bring you back the other day? Seth said somethings wrong, and Sam has been bringing you home every time you go down there." 

I look down as I try to compose myself, "I'm fine you guys. I need to go back to sleep. I have to get up in a few hours for school."

School. Not the best part of my day, not the worse. "You're not going to go back to sleep. You haven't been for the past two weeks. You're tired and we can tell. What happened with the pack?"

"Nothing, ok! It's nothing!" As soon as I raise my voice I cringe and look away. "Gracelyn Lee. We are trying to help you, but your acting like a child."

I clench my teeth, my jaw twitching. "I don't need anyone's help. I'm fine on my own. I wish you guys would just let me be without pestering me!"

I clench my fists, nails digging into my skin as I glare at my blanket. I wish they would just leave me alone. I can do things on my own. I don't have to have my family do everything or give everything to me.

I feel someone slowly uncurl my fingers and I glance up at Jasper with angry tears pricking my eyes. "Get some sleep, darlin'. If you're not up by five thirty, someone will wake you up so you can get ready, ok?"

I nod and as he stands up, Edward follows his lead. I quickly lay back down and close my eyes so they can't ask me any more questions. As soon as my door closes, I open my eyes and grab my headphones, putting in my music and hugging my arms around myself.

The pack's slipping away from me. Seth's slipping away. My family's slipping away. I'm slipping away. And it's all my fault.

Ever since that night I have this pain in my chest. Is this what it feels like when you are emotionally hurt, or is this just me?

Hold on, I still want you

Come back, I still need you

As the chorus rings through my head, I shed my first tears of two weeks, and as I do, I feel the pain in my chest slowly growing. 

Two weeks. Two weeks I have blocked all emotions, all thoughts. I have seen the pack twice, and each time I have fooled them into  thinking I'm ok. My family is not fooled as easily, but thankfully, are preoccupied by Sam and Dad forming a new treaty, school, jobs, and the normal vampire requirements.

Can you hear me screaming, please don't leave me?

I cry silently, no noise coming from me as I hug my legs closer to my chest. How can't they see how much pain I'm in? My family are freaking vampires with powers. How can't they see me hurting?

A tiny voice in my head quietly whispers, "They do notice. They see your pain, just as Seth did and you're pushing them away. You're pushing them away one by one and if you don't stop now they're going to leave."

A sharp pain ripples through me, and I let out a small sob. This was physical pain. This hurt so much, but I don't know how. I squeeze my eyes closed tightly and hug myself tight as I curl up on my side.

I am alone. I am truly alone and it's all my fault. I am the worst sister, worst daughter, worst friend ever. I keep pushing and pushing and all they want to do is help.

"If they cared, they would have helped by now. If they loved you, they would have gotten rid of the nightmares and voices," the tiny voice screams.

I let my tears fall down,
down,
down.

I feel arms wrap around me and hold me tight. I hear them whispering that I'm ok and to let it all out. I hear that they love me and that they are with me. I hear words of comfort, but my music and my thoughts are too loud. Too, too loud. It drowns out my cries, the comforting voice, it drowns out the world. Any more and it will drown me.

I am alone. I am drowning and I can't breathe under the weight of my own thoughts.

If I was better, if I was more, I wouldn't be like this. I wouldn't be so needy and selfish and bratty.

I am all alone. I have lost everything. Everything.

Oh my gosh this was too much for me 🤣 I  guess my dramatic tendencies helped me get through this one. Tell me if y'all liked the internal turmoil Grace was going through and if I did a good job portraying that.  Thank all of you for sticking with me! After Grace chills out, Bella is going to appear.... Dun, dun, dun!!! Tell me how you think the story is going to change now that Bella shows up and how you think it will effect the future....