Blood Bath

chapter 4 // con

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK.

No, Fuck.

My feelings have caught up to me again. I need to kill. I need to feel the liquid pouring onto my chest as my rage evaporates from my head.

I hear her.

I hear her weeping like she hasn't for years. My eight year old self is screaming inside to go help her like I wish I had had. Why am I like this? Why do I feel so much rage? I cut into my steak watching the red pour out but it wasn't enough.

"Would she shut up" I slam my knife into the table. Everyone just stayed quiet and continued eating.

"Oh, just Con's rage", they're thinking in their heads but in reality its' because I have no willingness to go up there and care for her. I hated feeling no empathy, like I had no will to help people that needed it. I slid my mask off and Tan stares. I took off my mask much less than the others, I hated feeling open, the mask made me feel hidden. We mostly ate in silence, we always do.

There was the occasional input on the next hit, the next shipment, and everything three criminals would talk about. Haven eventually stopped kicking, crying, and screaming but she never came to join us. I think we were all still processing what happened and what was going to happen now.

Of course though, Sin would have to address the elephant in the room. The reality was, Haven was needed. We needed her sneaky skills to gain information out of Evin. She was the closest person to him. Although, the plan Sin had, wasn't going to work. I was the only one who believed that.

Sin wanted Haven to eventually go back there and gain information. Why would she willingly go back to the home she was abused in after being out of the situation? Or was she strong enough to realize that everyone has their responsibilities? Only time would tell.

It was getting late and everyone cleared the kitchen table. I hadn't moved, I just sat in my same chair, thinking away. Why do we have a fourteen person dining table with only three people living here? I guess that's what people do when they have too much money.

Our penthouse was on the 57th floor, had 360 views of the city, and five bedrooms, four bathrooms. Tan had it decorated with vibrant art pieces from his hometown of France. Sin was going to hang Turkish artwork but he hates thinking about his past.

My past was nothing extravagant where I could pull artwork from. Unless it was the blood from our enemies. I didn't mind the house, anything is better than what it used to be. It was lonely but it was better that way.

I had a good family once. I had a mother and a father, we were the typical perfect suburban house family. Our home had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a perfect white picket fence out front. How charming.

My mother was a desk clerk at a dental office in our town and my father was a salesman who always failed at his job. He began steering off his medicine, forced my mother to quit her job, and everything changed for the worst.

He had began hitting my mother, making me watch every night. When I decided I couldn't sit there and do nothing anymore, I tried to use all my anger back out on him. This was when everything changed. My father decided I was going against his will and rules which he would never allow.

My father began abusing me at age eight. It wasn't just the typical spanking or a slap in the face, it was much more. My mother had no say anymore, she was so intoxicated just to stay alive herself. I had no other siblings and no other family to come for me. I was often found chained up in our dark and cold family basement awaiting for him to return.