Blood Bath

chapter 33 // haven

The darkness was rolling back into my vision.

The same darkness that I had worked so hard to shed myself of. I knew the day would come but I also believed I had more time. I did feel detached from my past, like a new person, but that fear still lingered. I was comfortable here, I enjoyed it here.

The boys, the home, the safety, everything. Everything felt like a dream that I never wanted to wake up from. Except now I was. My heart felt shattered. Especially at the fact that nobody seemed to care. Was this all they were trying to get at all along? Con had no remorse on his face as he told me they changed plans.

There was no comfort, no love, no care, nothing. I felt as if I was back to where we first started. Tan and Sin couldn't even look at me. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't let them have this much power over me, why did I in the first place?

I couldn't stand to smell them all over me anymore either. I stripped myself of the clothes from Con's closet, leaving them on the floor, while I stepped into my own black jeans and tank top.

The tears began to dry as I stuffed the few things that I collected here. I strapped the same dagger of mine that had been through every pitiful moment of my life against my thigh. I had disappointed my mother, myself, everyone. I was back to that unconfident girl that I fought so hard to be away from.

I chucked my bag down the stairs as my black boots echoed around the room. Sin and Con stood by the door, waiting for me. Tan sat on the couch, setting a few new pieces of equipment on the table.

"Im sorry Haven, you know we all don't want this, we wish it was different," Tan whispered as I took a seat next to him

"Give me the rundown." I muttered without any remorse for his words.

They weren't sorry, none of them were. They didn't understand the tornado that I was about to walk into.

"You'll have full tracking at all times, we will always know where you are. We will always be able to find you." Tan began.

He placed the tracked vest down on my lap. It was a customized black tactical vest that was just the perfect size. It was just light enough where it would stay undetected underneath my clothes but still maintain bullet restriction. The vest also had three compartments to store more knives, I almost smiled.

"Then this, just my personal gift. It has full communication buttons, we will be able to communicate through it. You will always know what is happening." Tan said.

The holster was brand new, a dark black with my customized initials engraved into it. It contained two gun compartments and two dagger compartments, perfect for my size. Tan had added in a feature just like the gloves though, full communication with the tap of a button. It would automatically alert them and send a full information from my fingerprint.

If I was hurt, it would scan my body report and send back everything including heart rates and blood levels.

I nodded my head and shoved them both into my bag without a thank you. He didn't deserve it, none of them did. Tan was a genius with technology, there was no doubt about that. It was just time to see how well it worked.

I stood back up and met Sin's face at the door. He held a stack of papers in one hand while he remained a remorseful glare. I could tell he was hurting inside much more than usual. The emotional bitch he was.

"It's really simple, Hav. Just get in, keep in contact with us, and we will get you the fuck out. And I swear to god, you better leave without one mark on your body." Sin announced.

I gulped down the building bile in my throat. Getting information and getting "the fuck out" was much more difficult from Evin than most thought. I was used for work and sent to my bedroom, there wasn't any part of me being involved.

Con hustled behind me, picking up my bag and delicately pressed his hand to my back. I shrugged him off and paced myself faster than any of them, hightailing it for the car. I climbed into the back seat and scrunched myself up against the door. I wanted to make myself as small as possible among them.

I watched as the sights passed by me just like the time I had been taken by them. Except, this time, the feeling of adrenaline was replaced with fear. I felt my chest caving in from the amount of pressure and stress that I felt.

Our tires sent to a screeching halt as we appeared in front of my old house. My stomach churned and my dinner was coming up into my throat. Sin opened my door and offered his hand but I walked right through him, I didn't want his sympathy now.

"My, my! Hello everyone, pleasure to see you all." Evin sarcastically said as he walked out of the front door.

I stopped dead in my tracks, squaring my body with the embodiment of the devil. The boys came to stand beside me while Con threw my bag at the front door. Evin let out a snarling laugh which sent shivers down my back.

"Your money will be deposited soon, as always. Thank you for delivering my cargo." Evin chuckled.

I felt a slight push of a hand shoving me towards the front door. I knew the force was steady which meant it was Con. I didn't even turn back, I didn't want them to see my quivering lips or glossy eyes. I wanted them to believe I was strong, that I didn't give a fuck.

I just didn't understand. Why did they send me early, did they want me gone? Why did they not even seem to care, why was there no sympathy given?

Evin wrapped his grimy fingers around my wrist, tugging me through the door as I winced at the pain. I picked up my bag with the other hand that was free. Evin was never gentle and I had forgotten that feeling. The feeling of being touched without allowing it, the feeling of being touched in spite not love.

I sucked in a breath as I stepped into the house, being dragged up the stairs. Yep, I was definitely back to the normal again. The cool feeling of the room instantly hit my senses, crushing my confidence completely, I felt shattered.

"I hope your cunt got fucked enough, stupid slut. Just like your mother," he snarled in my face.

I held my back straight, not sinking down to his words. I still wanted to feel like my changed self and I would fake it if needed.

"They never wanted you, nobody ever will. They were using you, remember that. They begged me to take you back. Barely paid a dime for your piece of ass." He spat while turning towards the door.

I held back the tingling feeling that was growing behind my eyelids, I wouldn't let simple words like that break me. I wasn't breaking, ever.

As I set my dagger on the nightstand next to me, I climbed underneath the paper thin sheets. The bed felt hard and cold, unlike anything at the boy's house. I shivered underneath the covers still attempting to hold my tears in.

Please let the nightmare come to an end.