Blood Bath

Chapter 55 // haven

"You have to kill Ryker"

You have to kill Ryker, You have to kill Ryker, You have to kill Ryker, You have to kill Ryker, You have to kill Ryker, You have to kill Ryker, You have to kill Ryker, You have to kill Ryker.

The words kept playing over and over in my head, my breathing was becoming heavy and the darkness was creeping in. I felt my chest begin heaving from the heaviness and my body beginning to slink down to the ground. Sin's arms loosely wrapped around my body, holding me up against the strong emotions that were overtaking me. 

"No, T-Tan-" I began, Sin cutting me off. 

"I know, I know. Take a deep breath, everything is okay." Sin assured me, resting a hand on my back. 

"It can't be true. I saw the shot, Sin. I saw it!" I sternly rose my voice out of confusion. 

"We all fucking saw it, Tan lived it! We don't know either Haven but we need you." Sin worriedly expressed, staring deep into my eyes. 

"I c-can't Sin. I'm not ready." I begged, my lips quivering. 

Sin grasped the side of my face with his palm and held my face lightly. He wiped my flowing tears off with the swipe of his thumb. His face remained stern and worried, he never had that look. I knew it was more serious and more emotional than he was letting me know.

"Look at me Canim. Nobody is ever ready for the hard shit life likes to throw our way, it's not fair, I know it's not." Sin gritted through his teeth.

"I'm not ready! Don't you hear me, I can't fucking do this!" I screamed, the tears plowing down my reddening cheeks. 

"Stop it! Stop always underestimating yourself. You dumped my ass on that floor only a week after coming here, you slaughtered a warehouse full of men, and you fought your way mentally out of crazy shit. If anybody can do this, it's you, it's fucking you Haven!" Sin yelled at me. 

He took the moment to take the hand from my cheek and wrap it around the back of my neck. He pulled me roughly into his chest, wrapping me into a tight hug. I sobbed out into his chest, all of the fear and emotion boiling inside of me. I didn't choose this life, why did it choose me? I didn't want this. 

I felt Sin's warm lips touch the top of my head as he rocked me back and forth. That's why. They are the reason I continued to choose this life. It is for them, it is for my family. I wrapped my hands around his bulging arms, digging my nails into them. I felt my teeth digging into each-other like a war inside of my mouth. The bile was rising in my throat slowly before I pushed it back down. 

I felt the last tear roll down my cheek as I caught it with my tongue. The salty taste filling my tastebuds as the hair rose up on my body. It had to be done and it had to be done by me. It was final and it was happening. I sucked in the new air throughout my lungs and straightened my back, letting out the dark air that had grown inside of me. 

"Let's take this fucker down." I replied sternly, now boiling with confidence. 

"That's my girl." Sin stated. 

"What's the plan?" I questioned. 

"We have to be in Chicago in five hours, pack your things and meet us down in the living room. We will discuss during the flight." Sin exclaimed. 

I nodded and headed out of the room towards my own. I blinked a few times, sending the remaining tears to push themselves back into my eyes. I flung open my door, looking out at the black furniture and the bright sun pouring through the windows. I sat myself in front of the dresser, pulling out each drawer. 

"What do you wear to kill your worst nightmare?" I mumbled to myself, digging through the clothes. 

"I would prefer nothing but that's just me." a voice said from behind me in a chuckle. 

I swiveled my head to the side, glancing back at the voice to see Tan leaning up against my doorway. A slight smile spread across my face due to the fact that I hadn't seen him since yesterday night during that awkward conversation. He smiled back at me which sent the warmness in the room to soak into my skin. He plopped down next to me staring back at the dresser drawers before sighing. 

"You know, men have one trash shirt, one daily shirt, and one formal shirt. You women have an outfit for every god damn emotion!" he shouted. 

I rolled my eyes with a quiet laugh that escaped my throat. I mean, he wasn't wrong. I did often order around Sin's employees to grab different things that got my attention. But, I hadn't ever had nice things before and it felt nice for once. Therefore, I stocked up on anything that I felt that I would look good in. 

"You're a dork." I chuckled.

"Only for you, princess." Tan replied, smiling back at me. 

He slowly helped me pack over the next few names, taking the clothes from my hand and slowly packing them into a rolling bag. I pulled out the burgundy blazer and pants shoved into the back of the dresser drawer along with a white undershirt. I glanced over at Tan's face as I handed him the outfit, watching as his eyebrows rose. 

"That's the one. That's what you wear when you're meeting your worst nightmare." I confidently spoke.

"A suit?" he questioned. 

"Yes, who said only men could wear them? It'll be a statement." I replied, standing up on my feet.

I headed to the bathroom and grabbed the black high heels that leaned against the tub along with my white sneakers. I tugged on the sneakers, shoved a bit of makeup and girl products in a bag, and left the bathroom behind. I took a deep breathing knowing this might be the last time I ever see this room again. Shit could go wrong in Chicago and I mentally needed to prepare for it. 

Tan stood by the door with both of our suitcases perched beside him along with a backpack. He smiled at me as I handed him the heels and essentials bag, stuffing them into my suitcase. As he stood back up, he jokingly leaned over and held out his hand. 

"M'lady." he cooed. 

I rolled my eyes and replied with a laugh as I strolled out of the room past him. I walked down the stairs glancing over at Sin and Con sprawled out on the couch. There were two smaller suitcases that stood next to the door color coordinated with their masks. Everything was color coordinated with them, organized bastards. 

"Y'all ready to go on a bitch hunt!" I shouted, baring my teeth in a large smile.