Blood Bath

chapter 53 // haven

The soft wind brushed against my reddening cheeks as I looked out at the nighttime commotion. I had never seen this side of the city, only the darkness of it. I never knew I could see this city in such a laughable and bright emotion. People walked hand in hand carrying hot dogs, children carrying stuffed animals, the smell of delicious food. 

It was beautiful, it was like a complete new feeling that I had never felt before. I felt hope, I felt like maybe my life could be more than just the darkness of this world. But, as soon as I met Con's glance over his shoulder, the old feelings rushed back into me. I knew I couldn't have this life, I wasn't built for it. No, it didn't upset me, as much as it should have. 

Some people have to control the dark and some can bask in the sun. It was as simple as the moon and the sun, keeping the darkness and sunlight in balance. I was born into the position of the moon and it was my duty to pursue that. Sure, I could have a life where I could birth three children, go to the pier every weekend and win them a stuffed animal, and finish it off with a fancy dinner with my husband. 

But, that didn't speak to me as much as having a lead position in the mafia, working to take down the bad that filled this city. I could have a life of training the employees, coming home to the boys, and finish it off with basking by the pool. Therefore, it didn't upset me. 

I laid my head against Con's back as we crossed the large bridge, the rope still digging into my wrists. I enjoyed the feeling of being out of control, like I could fall off this bike any moment if I didn't focus on balancing myself. Did that make me crazy? I stuck to those thoughts as we pulled into a lookout point which faced the ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge, lit up by the shining moon. 

I smiled as the bike rumbled to a stop, shutting off the vibration in between my legs. I slid back off the bike and stared at Con, waiting for him to remove my helmet. He moved quickly, pressing his large body into my chest, working away at the buckle underneath my chin. As he pulled it up off of my face, I met him with a soft smile. He tore off his own helmet and hung it around the handlebars before grabbing the rope around my wrists. 

"Going to tell me now, spitfire?" he questioned.

"Maybe.." I trailed off, giving a sarcastic tone. 

He released my wrists and spun on his heel, beginning to walk back to the bike. 

"Okay, okay! I will tell you." I shrieked, wanting the bindings off of my wrists. 

He let out a slight laugh before releasing my wrists and tucking the rope back into one of his pockets. He jumped back onto the bike, resting up against the handlebars and patting his lap. I swung my legs over again sitting atop his lap while straddling him. Con took one of his hands and began pushing a strand of my hair back behind my air while studying my face. 

"What's up?" he asked in a whisper. 

"First of all, can I just say that I cannot believe that out of all of you, you're the softy?" I snorted as I looked back down at his face. 

Con rolled his eyes, "What can I say? You make me different Haven. You make all of us different".

"Definitely different. Remember when you chased me into the bedroom just for asking how you eat with your mask?" I reminded him, letting out another large laugh as I leaned into the crook of his neck. 

"You were just trying to get a rise out of me because you were desperate for my attention." he replied, letting a toothy smile shine through. 

I sighed as I leant against his chest, staring out at the slow moving ocean and cars whizzing by on the bridge. Con slightly moved his hand to my back, slowly rubbing up and down. I sucked in a deep breath, inhaling his spicy cologne like cinnamon. 

"What's on your mind, little one?" he questioned again softly.  

"A lot." I heaved.

"Take your time." he whispered. 

"I want to stay." I announced, slightly pulling my head back. 

"That was it?" he slightly chuckled. 

I sent a light slap to his chest as I furrowed my eyebrow. 

"It's a big thing, I have complete freedom in front of me and I would rather stay!" I sternly said, crossing my arms across my chest. 

"I also didn't know if that was something you all wanted." I finished quietly. 

Con grasped the side of my jaw slightly, holding my face up to look at his.

"You don't need permission to stay with us. You are one of us, you complete us. We are family now." Con said, looking deep into my eyes. 

"I appreciate that." I replied, planting a soft kiss on his lips. He stroked the side of my jaw as he pulled away from the kiss, letting out a deep sigh. 

"I just want to make sure that's what you truly want. I saw the way your eyes lit up when we drove past the pier, seeing all the people with normal lives." he responded, his eyes becoming heavy. 

"I won't lie, it did seem nice. They all seemed so happy but then I realized I'm that happy when I am around all of you as well." I admitted.

"I swore to myself that you weren't built for this world, you deserve more Haven. And now I'm getting butterflies hearing you ask to stay. It doesn't feel right." Con retorted. 

"When you are born into the dark, that is your comfort. Those people couldn't have their smiles and laughs without us protecting them. That is why I will always choose this lifestyle." I explained sternly. 

"This isn't an easy want spitfire. You choose to stay, you devote yourself to Metric forever. It doesn't just go away." he warned. 

"I don't want it to go away." I whined, my lips trembling. 

He took a deep sigh, inhaling the night air into his lungs before pulling me into a long hug. I felt the world go into slow motion as I let the soft tears pour onto my skin. I felt them seeping into his shirt and into my pores. The world was spinning around me in a feeling of love. A year ago, I wouldn't have ever believed I was lovable. Now, I was being proved wrong by three men who mattered more than anybody. 

Con tilted my face up towards him once more, wiping away the tears with his thumb. 

"We want you to stay. Is that your final decision?" Con questioned.

"Yes." I replied through the soft tears. 

"Then it's done. Welcome home spitfire." Con applauded.