Destined 2 Love ( Sequel )

U N E X P E C T E D F E E L I N G

"Thank you for seeing me on such a short notice." Destiny claimed her usual seat in Dr. Carina's office. "How are you feeling today, Destiny?" Dr. Carina grabbed her notepad and pen. "This morning I got the call," Destiny paused mid sentence, "My mother passed away. I haven't shedded a single tear since hearing those words." She admitted. "Am I too broken?" She looked in Carina's eyes for help.

"First I'd like to offer you and your family my condolences during this time." Her words were heartfelt. "However, Destiny, I do not think you're "broken." Everyone is wired differently. You're still navigating the emotions that come with the trauma that's been caused by that same person, it's understandable if you're not quite sure how to feel this exact moment." Dr. Carina reasoned.

"So, it's not cruel that I haven't shedded a single tear?" Destiny wondered. Dr. Carina scooted a bit closer to her, "No, absolutely not." She wasn't sugar coating but rather being honest. "I would like for you to tell me how you're feeling this very moment." Destiny sighed. She couldn't really pinpoint what she was feeling in present time. Truth be told, she was feeling so many ways all at once. It was complicated to verbally describe but she did the best she could.

"I'd thought many times about how I'd feel the day my mom died." There was a brief pause while Destiny toyed with her wedding band. "It wouldn't be a celebration by any means. I wouldn't be glad, wouldn't be happy, but I also didn't think I'd be necessarily devastated." She spoke her truth. Dr. Carina began taking notes in the pad placed on her lap, allowing Destiny to continue on.

"I knew it would be sad, as it always is when someone we know passes away, but I also expected to feel a strange sense of... relief. Not relieved she was gone, of course, but relieved to be free of the hold she had over me, relieved to see us both out from under the toxic cloud she carried with her everywhere she went." There was no sadden expression displaying on her face as she spoke but the tears had already began falling.

Dr. Carina handed her the box of tissues and she laughed. She'd gotten use to the impact therapy had on her when opening up. "Destiny, grief is not limited to feelings of sadness. It can also involve guilt, yearning, anger, and regret. Emotions are often surprising in their strength or mildness. They can also be confusing." Dr. Carina reassured. "People in grief can bounce between different thoughts as they make sense of their loss." She added.

"I just don't want anyone thinking I'm not effected by what's happened because I'm not physically able to cry at this given time." Destiny shared. "No one way of grieving is better than any other. Some people are more emotional and dive into their feelings. Others are stoic and may seek distraction from dwelling on an unchangeable fact of living." Carina replied. Destiny took a mental note of what her therapist had said. "I didn't know how much I needed to hear that." She slightly chuckled.

"How are your siblings handling the loss?" Dr. Carina asked. "I think Deedra is most emotional about it. Though I can't speak for Darnell and De'Lanice, I'll assume they're in the same boat as I am." Destiny's shoulders went up then down. Dr. Carina didn't want to push seeing that Destiny ended her sentence on a flat note. "How about your husband, and children?" She questioned, writing small notes.

"Kross... Kross is always supportive. He was on his way to a meeting when I told him the news. He immediately turned his car around to come see to my well-being." There was a small smile on her face. "As for the kids, well Skylar had no relation with my mother and they'd never met. I doubt Kaleb remembers her, he was only a few months old when she was around." Some disappointment was detected in Destiny's voice after saying that.

"How does that make you feel, your son will likely not remember much of his grandmother because of the kind of mother she was towards you?" Dr. Carina asked. "My mom was not well, in every sense of the word. She was mentally ill, emotionally volatile, manipulative, deceptive, attention-seeking, and spiteful. So, really, I'm happy she did my son that favor of not messing him up the way she did her own children. Not that I would of allowed her to, but it feels good to spare him from the dysfunctional family talks." She expressed.

Dr. Carina checked the time on her Apple Watch, seeing they only had about ten-minutes left of the session. "We don't have much time left to discuss more— however, I want to leave you with this." She eyed Destiny solely, "Grief generally follows stages or periods that involve different feelings and experiences. To help make sense of this process, some experts use the stages of grief. There are five stages of grief that you are likely to experience. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance." Carina informed.

"As I assured you before, everyone deals with their grieving process differently and there is no right or wrong way. However, it's up to you to acknowledge those stages when they may appear and treat your emotions sufficiently. It'll be challenging, but that's why I'm here to help you figure it all out."

"Sounds so... complicated." Destiny looked out the window for a minute. "Not complicated if you do what works best for you." Dr. Carina simply responded. She shook her head in agreement before standing from the couch. "Thanks for squeezing me in. See you next week." Destiny said her goodbyes, heading for the door. "Good session today. Take care, Destiny." Dr. Carina walked towards her desk while watching the door open then close.

On the other hand, while Destiny approached her car, she wasn't sure if her s.o.s session had gone so good. She still felt unsettled even with Dr. Carina's reassurance and helpful tips. She wasn't sure she was ready to experience those five stages of grief— she couldn't bring herself to believing it was an actual thing. While stopped at a red light, she pulled out her phone to send a group text to her siblings, asking if they could come over later on.

Destiny wasn't sure what she'd say to them when physically being in their presence. Even-so, she knew the four of them were now officially all each other had. Trina caused chaos everywhere she went and brought pain into the lives of anyone who got close to her. She knew her mother wasn't right, she knew her behavior and treatment of she and her siblings wasn't okay, but she was too young to do anything about it but survive. As an adult, Destiny made the decision to keep Trina in her life at arm's length, close enough to maintain a surface relationship with her mother that could still scratch her, but not close enough that she could get past Destiny to hurt the family she'd built.

She wasn't relieved, but she wasn't devastated. She was sure a lot of what she felt was shock. Destiny wasn't upset that she hadn't gotten to recite her scathing deathbed judgments of her. She wasn't upset that she wouldn't get to say anything to her mother. It definitely registered that she was gone, Destiny just couldn't understand why she didn't feel much of anything.

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Sorry for the wait 🫣

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