WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS BOOK IF YOU HAVE NOT READ "GAME OF DESTINY" !
Trust and intimacy made us one . Love and loyalty kept us together . But sometimes , things are just too good to be true .
Matching the army cargos with an oversized t-shirt to hide my small pudge that seemed to grow overnight, I observed myself in the mirror. I was beginning to see changes in my body. I sighed, touching up my makeup before leaving the bedroom. When I made it out to the living room, Kross was seated on the couch, waiting.
"Ready." I announced, grabbing my handbag off the center table. He stood to his feet, looking me up and down, but it felt as if he were sizing me up. He made his way over to the front door as I followed behind him. "Can you take a picture for me?" I asked. Without responding, he held his hand out for my phone. Not really in the brightest mood to take a photo, I still posed for the picture.
Since I haven't been posting as frequently on social media due to the load of things going on in my personal life, Lynn, my manger, called me early this morning, lecturing me with the infamous; "this isn't good for your career or platform" speech. Sometimes I often see her as the overprotective, on my back about everything, mother I never had.
I looked at the pictures Kross had taken, liking the quality and angles of each photo. I thanked him before posting the picture to my Instagram page, captioned;
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Melanin.des: More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgement. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate. 🧘🏾♀️ #Goodmorning
By the time Kross and I got into the car, pulling out the garage, people were flooding the comment section under my picture. Some good, some straight up hate. But I always pay attention to the positive. After reading a few comments of supporters sending they're condolences for the loss of my friend, I locked my phone, dropping it into my bag.
I looked over at Kross while he drove to the doctors office in silence. He's been giving me the cold shoulder since admitting that I was all the way certain about having a child. My emotions towards the situation seemed to shift day-to-day. I honestly thought Kross would've been more understanding of my feelings as I was of his, unfortunately he didn't. Things were the total opposite. When I told him, there was a mixture of anger and hurt that I sensed. And I could understand why.
I mean, no man who is actually ready and, willingly to step up to they're responsibilities wants to hear that. However, I think he should take how I feel into deep consideration as well. There was a load of shit over flowing in my plate. As women, our bodies go through enough as it is. I found it hard to imagine nine plus months of being pregnancy, then having to thug my way through labor.
We arrived at the doctors on time for my eleven-thirty appointment. I signed in at the front desk before having a seat in the waiting area next to Kross. My leg bounced up and down, anxiously. Kross rest his hand on my thigh, rubbing it to calm me down. "There's nothing to be nervous about. I'm right here with you, babe." He kissed the side of my face, putting me in slight ease.
"Destiny Jones." A nurse called out. I shot up from the seat, fixing myself. Kross and I followed the short Hispanic woman into the examination room once escorted to the back. After taking my height and weight, she instructed me to give a sample of urine before changing into the blue gown. When I finished doing everything instructed, I handed her the cup of filled with bodily fluids. "Alright. Dr. Moore will be in with you shortly." The nurse informed.
I thanked her, sitting up on the examination table. I swung my legs back and fourth waiting for the arrival of the gynecologist. As if on cue, a woman with ginger colored hair, piercing green eyes and pale skin came walking through the door. "Hello, I'm Dr. Moore." She introduced herself in a thick Irish accent, "You are Destiny Jones, correct?" She took a moment to look up from the file in her hand.
I shook my head yes, "Correct. And this is my boyfriend, Kross." I pointed to Kross, who sat in the free seat in the corner of the room. I watched while Doctor Moore took a seat in front of the desktop, typing away at the keyboard. She then proceeded to ask me basic questions; What brings me here, have I ever been pregnant before, when was my last period. All basic procedure questions you can say.
She informed me that she was just waiting on the results of my urine sample before proceeding any further. Not long after, the same nurse knocked on the room door, handing Doctor Moore what I assumed were my results. She read over the paper before speaking, "By the looks of these results. Yes, you are indeed pregnant, Destiny." Confirming what I already knew. I quietly sighed.
"I'm going to have you setup for an ultrasound. This way, I'll be able to better tell how far along you are, and so fourth." Doctor Moore stated. I nodded, allowing her to do whatever necessary. With the help of the nurse, they got the ultrasound machine hooked up. I was instructed to lay flat on my back with my legs placed on the leg rest for support.
"This might be a bit uncomfortable since this is a vaginal ultrasound, but I promise you'll be fine." The doctor assured, "Ready when you are, Destiny." Doctor Moore looked up. "I'm ready." I gave her the go, looking up at the white ceiling. It felt like an uncomfortable penetration when the stick went up my private part. There was complete silence while she observed the screen. Kross's eyes were glued to the screen as well. He seemed fascinated.
"Alrighty. See this small little thing right here? That's the baby." Doctor Moore pointed at the screen. My head half way up, looking at her finger on the tiny dot. A wave of shock took over my body, yet I was also amazed. "It's... so small." I giggled, in the verge of tears while examining the tiny baby that was currently growing inside me. "Yup! Your baby is about the size of a lemon right now." Doctor Moore informed, "Baby weights 0.81 ounces and the baby's length as of right now, is 2.91 inches." She educated Kross and I.
"That's crazy!" Kross grinned, sounding excited to be learning the information given by Doctor Moore. "Would the two of you like to hear the heartbeat?" She questioned. No. Hearing the innocent heartbeat of the life growing inside me will drastically dictate my decision. "Yes." Kross answered without hesitation. Doctor Moore smiled, holding the monitor to my stomach.
The vibrant lub dub could be heard throughout the room. My eyes watered as I quickly wiped my tears away. That precious, innocent heartbeat. Hearing a heartbeat through a fetal monitor was much different than putting your ear to a chest. But it wasn't about the sound of it the heartbeat, but rather about the person who's heart it belongs to. My baby— Kross and I's, baby. The one thing I know we'll both cherish forever.
