Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

telling Joe and acute appointment

-taylors pov- 

We reach home and I hold Ellies hand as we walk through the door and meet Abigail in the living room. "Hi, are you okay?" she asks us. "i'm fine" Ellie says but I know she is lying. 

I set her down on the couch and sigh "can you eat your night snack with Abigail so I can go and call your dad?" I ask her and she nods, and I kiss her forhead and tell Abigail what she is having. They make their way to the kitchen while I go into the playroom to call joe. 

Its 5am in London right now, but I know he would be mad if I waited to call him about this. So it takes a few rings, but he picks up. "mmm what's up Taylor?" he says in a groggy morning voice. 

"sorry to wake you babe. But this couldn't wait. Today has been one thing after the other and I'm exhausted" I say and sigh as I lay down on the couch. "What happened?" 

"first matt cheated on Abigail so her and Lauren is staying with us. But then we eat dinner together and I can tell Ellie is having a hard time. Aperently the bullies are getting worse, and she just broke down sobbing and then... then she grabbed a pair of scissors and ran into the office, locked herself in there and cut her wrist" I say and wipe away the tears falling from my eyes. This on top of the breakdown I had this morning ads up to a lot and its exhausting. 

"oh my. Elliana... shit. I want to hit someone. Why can't those spoiled little brats leave her alone. And the poor girl has enough stuff to deal with she doesn't need them throwing shit at her on top of everything else. But she cut her wrist? Holly shit! Did she try to... did she try to kill herself" he says and his voice breaks at the end. 

"She says she didn't try to kill herself. At least not directly. She said that sometimes she doesn't want to be alive but didn't say that this was a suicide attempt. That's the only reason I didn't have her admitted, that she said she can keep herself safe if she is with me. So she is sleeping next to me tonight and we are going to the therapist's office in the morning to sort it out." just the fact that my own daugther sometimes feel like she doesn't want to be alive is terrifying. She is twelve years old and should not be feeling that way. And I know all too well what that feeling is like, but the difference is that I was an adult, but she is a child for god's sake. 

"Do you need me to come home Taylor? If you need me to, I will be on the first plane home" he says, and I sigh. "No stay. At least for now. We don't even know what we are fully dealing with yet. We can talk more after the appointment with the therapist" I don't want him to drop a project that's so exiting to him without it being absolutely the only way to keep the kids from falling apart. For now, I feel like I can do it. 

"But you need to tell me if it gets too much Taylor. I mean it" he says sternly. "I know. And I promise you I will joe. Always" I wish he was here right now and could wrap his arms around me and hold me close. It's hard enough to deal with all this and its even harden when he isn't here with me. 

We talk for a bit more before we hang up and I go out to join Ellie and Abigial. "Did you finish your snack Ellie?" I ask her and sit down on the couch next to her as she snuggles in my side, so I wrap my arms around her. "yes" 

"She told me that she isn't going to school tomorrow. So I will drop the other girls off at school so you can stay with her" Abigial's offers and thank her. That's at least one thing off my pate. 

We say goodnight to Abigail and Ellie, and I get ready for bed before getting under the covers together on my bed. After what happened I just don't want her to sleep alone tonight, and she doesn't seem to mind. 

"mom. Are you... are you disappointed in me" she says and stare up at the roof. "No I'm not. I'm never going to blame you for struggling Elliana. Now we just need to figure out how we can keep it from happening again" I tell her and kiss her forhead before she snuggles in my side just like she used to do when she was younger.