Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

tell me the truth

-taylors Pov- 

We called ahead to the ICU to let them know that we were bringing children with us. Only me, Liz and the girls are going up to the room because we don't want to bring too many people. Security drove us here and my mom drove her car here so she can bring aurora and kenzie straight to gymnastics. Thankfully my parents are stepping up to help with the girls and joe's mom too. 

So Ellie is in a velure sweat set, I'm in tights and a sweater while aurora and kenzie are in leotards and long tights ready to head to gymnastics after. 

The door to the ICU is locked like always and after talking with the receptionist joes nurse comes and get us and introduce herself to the girls. "i'm Yolanda and I'm looking after your dad. How about you follow me over here and clean your hands really well before we go and see your dad" she says with a smile, and we go to the sinks and scrub our hands well. 

Kenzie is holding my hand as we walk to the room, she is the youngest and I think she is the most nervous. Ellie is acting a bit off, but I don't blame her, she has been through a lot, and this is another thing on top of everything else. 

"so here your dad is" Yolanda says and show us into his room where the big machines are beeping like they should, and we can hear the respirator work. Kenzie lets go of my hand and hide behind me "mom I don't like this" she whimpers. "I know. I don't like it either. But look, he is breathing that machine is helping him breath. And that thing on his head is making sure that his brain is getting help. And all the wires and iv's are giving him medication that's important. It looks scary but all those things are helping him" I explain to her 

Ellie hangs back against the wall and is really quiet while I go with aurora and kenzie over to him "can he hear me?" aurora asks. "He gets medication to sleep, so he can't right now. He needs to sleep so his brain doesn't get overworked. So we need to be really quiet and talk in gentle voices" I tell them. 

"When will he wake up. When will he come home?" kenzie asks and I sigh "i don't have an answer for that. Right now, they need to give him medicine that keeps him asleep for a few days, and then they will see if he might wake up. But we don't know how long that will take yet. And when he wakes up, he will need to be in the hospital for a while so he can get all the help he needs" I don't want to tell them that the odds are he won't wake up, that the odds are he won't come home. But I'm trying to keep hope for myself and for the girls. I'm not exactly lying, I'm just telling what might happen and what the doctors are planning on doing. 

Aurora and kenzie get a bit more time by his side before I go to follow them out to my mom's car so they can leave for gymnastics. 

-ellies pov- 

I'm standing against the wall in dads' room, and I feel suffocated. I hate the smell of hospitals, its stuffy and the air is dry. And the beeping sounds of the machines is ringing in my ears. I'm scared to stand too close to him in case I do something wrong. What if I step on a wire or something and he dies? What if I do something that hurts him? I don't want to do something wrong and be the reason he won't come home again. And If I wasn't so difficult at the prison and took forever to get in the car, that car might not have hit us, maybe if I could just be a bit better dad wouldn't be hurt. What if my mom blames me? She says that he is the love of her life, but I might have taken him from her. I wonder if my mom will love me the same if he dies. 

"Ellie are you okay?" my mom's voice comes from my side, and I flinch and even though I try I can't keep the tears from flowing down my face and soft sobs leaving my mouth. "oh Elliana. I know you're scared" she says and wrap her long around me. My mom gives the best hugs, she makes you feel safe and protected.