Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

sexual assault trial

** monday March 24th, 2036** 

-taylors pov- 

Today is a horrible day, but I need to keep a brave face because it's about aurora. The sexual assault trial is today, and she is testifying after lunch. I'm not going to pretend I know what it's like for her, because even though I was the victim of sexual assault several times, at least I was an adult. She is 12 years old, and there are three other little girls that are probably terrified too. 

Last night aurora was so scared, so I ended up sleeping next to her in bed to try to offer some comfort. So now I wake up with her tucked into my arms clinging to me. She isn't as expressive about her feelings as kenzie, and also Ellie, but obviously she is having a hard time. Therapy has helped her talk more about what's going on, but it's just not in her nature. 

"Mom, I don't want to do this" she says as she wakes up in my arms, because my alarm went off, and I kiss the top of her head "I know you don't want to go. But I'm going to be there with you, I can even sit next to you and hold your hand if you want to. You, me and dad are going there together. You're not doing this alone" 

Selena have been kind enough to stay with us for a couple of weeks to help with the kids, so she is staying home with kenzie, who is home for the week in between chemotherapy weeks. Alex is picking Ellie up and driving her to school, so we didn't have to think about that today. We are still pissed at her for having sex without a condom, but she is taking her antibiotics and clearly understand that it was stupid. There isn't anything we can do to take back what they did, and that's their stupid decision that they need to take responsibility for. They have taken the consequences for their actions; they need to earn back the privileges of sleepovers and closing the door. 

I send aurora to the shower because she is drenched in sweat from panicking during the night "Mom please don't go" she says and look down timidly. "i can sit in there with you if that would help" I tell her and kiss her forhead. I totally get that she doesn't want to be alone this morning, so if me sitting in the bathroom talking to her will help, I will obviously do that. 

She strips down and get in the shower while I sit and look in the opposite direction to give her some privacy. "Is it... I have an urge... to do... bad things again. Is that normal" she says, and I sigh "I don't think there is a normal or abnormal in this situation sweetie. People handle hard things in different ways, I get where you're coming from though. And I'm proud of you for telling me you needed me in the bathroom with you" 

There is a long pause before she turns off the shower and I hand her a towel "so you're not embarrassed to be in here with me. I'm completely naked and acting like a three-year-old who is scared to take a shower alone" she mumbles, and I gently reach for her face, so she has to look for me "aurora, of course not. If you need me, I will always be here with you. Besides, I gave birth to you, seeing you naked is not a big deal to me, and I have the same parts as you. I have boobs and a vagina too, there is nothing to be embarrassed about with that" I tell her and kiss her forhead. 

She grins up at me "but you have bigger boobs than me though, and they are sagging" she says, and I chuckle. Even on a hard day she is sassy. "that's true. After feeding you and your sisters for the first year of your life they get saggy" 

We go into her bedroom again so she can get dressed. "I think it's so weird that we used to eat from your boobs. Like ew" she says and scrunch her nose as she gets dressed. "well, you used to love my boobs. When we started to wean you from breastfeeding you would reach for my shirt and pull it down in protest because you wanted my boobies. You protested and said you wanted boobie. It was one of your first words actually" 

Aurora goes downstairs to join joe for breakfast while I go to wake Ellie up. "Sweetie, time to get up. Alex will be here in 45 minutes to pick you up" she was groaning when I turned on the lights but the second I mentioned Alex's name she shot up in bed. "i forgot he was picking me up" she says and skip out of bed. I've never seen her get out of bed that quickly before, young love.