Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

couples therapy

** Friday March 21st, 2036** 

-taylors pov- 

While Aurora and Ellie are at school, and Selena is sitting with kenzie, joe and I are going to my old therapist Rachel to have a couple's session. It took a while to get an appointment, but we really need it so we took whatever we could get. For our marriage to continue to work we need to talk like we used to again, and we need help to get to that place. 

We get into the office and sit down on the couch. "so Taylor and joe, it's been a while since you've been here. Why don't you start off by telling me about what brought you here today and how things are going in your life" 

"a lot has happened. But the short story is that there was a parole hearing for Adam, we got in a car crash that landed joe in a coma. Ellie got a boyfriend and is being intimate, which caused her to end up with an STD, not to mention the fact that she got drunk. Aurora started to become distant and then we found out that her coach had sexually assaulted her. Then kenzie got cancer which just broke us. That's when we stopped communicating and everything just broke down" I tell her the general idea about everything that has happened these last few months. It's been a never-ending nightmare and I feel like I'm drowning in drama. 

"All of this has caused us to just not communicating and then we had a big fight. It's been hard to balance giving all the kids equal attention, but also getting time for the two of us to be together. We don't really get time alone at all right now, which I think is a problem and hard on both of us" joe says. We don't want to be one of the couples that split up because their child gets really sick, or they have a lot to deal with when it comes to their kids. That is stuff that tend to break couples up and I don't want us to end up like that. We have been through so much together over the years and I'm determined to get us back to a good place. 

"Have you started to communicate again now?" she asks, and I nod "yes, we had a big fight. Basically, I was neglecting everyone and only focusing on kenzie, which is understandable but it's also unreasonable because I have other children and a husband who needs me. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I know that it was wrong. Not to mention I wasn't taking care of myself which joe tried to get me to understand but I wasn't listening" 

Joe tries to say that I wasn't neglecting them but that is a lie and I know it. "yes, joe I was. You told me that and I agree. What I was doing was the wrong choice and I'm taking responsibility for that. I don't want you to say that just to make me feel better because it doesn't make me feel better" I tell him. I don't want him to lie just because it would make me more comfortable, I can handle it because I take responsibility for the choices I make even if they are wrong. 

"I.. I feel like I'm drowning. Everyone needs something from me, which I don't mind. But I don't know how to give everyone what they need and where to make space for me to take care of myself" I say and my voice cracks. Everything going on is really overwhelming and it is hard to keep it together. There are just not enough hours in a day to give everyone what they need all the time. 

Joe takes my hand and Rachel speaks again "there is a common saying that you need to save yourself before you save someone else. In this case it would mean that for you to give your family what they need, you need to carve out time for you to do self-care things. There are never enough hours in a day for anyone, but it's about finding some sort of balance" she tells us. I get where she is coming form but it's just so hard. 

"we have gotten better at trading off being at the hospital with kenzie. But she is burned out and I'm worried about her" joe says and squeeze my hand "love I'm worried about you, I don't want to see you reach a breaking point. Please lean on me, we are in this together. You're not alone my love" he says and lean my head on his shoulder, and he wraps an arm around me.