Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

soon you'll get better

** monday July 14th 2036** 

-taylors pov- 

Its transplant day and I'm really nervous, now kenzie and I are in the room alone and the nurses and doctors that come in have these yellow gowns on and masks to try to reduce the chance of infection. 

The doctor and nurse come in with the bag of stem cells and I'm holding Kenzie's hand "so this is the magic right here. Your beautiful stem cells that you had in your umbilical cord when you were born. So we will transfuse that now, the transfusion won't take long and then it's just about watching and waiting. We need to take daily blood tests and do checks every so often to see that she is doing okay. If she gets a fever, we need to give her antibiotics and the blood tests will tell us if she needs blood transfusions again" the doctor explains all the things she has explained several times before. 

Kenzie is really weak and pale, but they hook her up to the infusion and now all we can do is wait. This is day 0 and we won't know if it has worked before closer to day 30 most likely. The hope is that this infusion of stem cells is going to go into her bone marrow and start making new blood cells. If her numbers, go up that's how we know that it has been successful. If her numbers don't recover that's how we know that the graft didn't work, and she would be stuck here in this little isolation room until she could get another bone marrow transplant. 

After about an hour kenzie starts to stir and hot tears are streaming down her face "it hurts" she screams at the top of her lungs and I hold her hands and feel her forhead, she is getting a fever, so I ring the nurse's button. 

The nurse comes in right away "she is in pain and has a fever" I tell her, and she check her temperature to make sure. The infusion was over after 30 minutes so now we have just been waiting for her to get a reaction or not. 

"Mommy make it stop" she screams, and I get a washcloth to pat her forhead because she is burning up. "I wish I could baby girl. But the doctor is coming" I coo her as she cries and toss and turn in her bed. 

It doesn't take long before the doctor comes and she orders some antibiotics because of the fever, and then some painkillers for the excruciating pain she is describing. 

I quickly text joe as the nurse is giving her pain medication. 

Taylor- she is getting a reaction now. Fever and pain 

I don't add much context, but he has asked me to keep him updated If there are even the slightest changes. It would help a lot if he could be here, but first of all they only allow one parent, and then we have two other children that needs parents too. We need to do a good old divide and concur to give all the girls what they need. 

"I don't want to do this anymore mommy. Everything hurts all the time, please let me not do this. I don't like it. I don't want to do this. Maybe I should just die" kenzie whimpers and I'm fighting hard to not burst into tears. "Listen to me kenzie, we need to give it time, and I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I know what it's like for you Mackenzie because I don't, only you know what it's like for you. I don't want you to die baby girl" I say and now I can't keep a tear from welling up in my eyes, but I quickly wipe them away. This isn't about me; this is about her. I need to be strong because that's what she needs, if I fall apart, she will for sure do it too. 

"Mommy what do you think it's like to die" she asks, and I take a deep breath "I don't know because I have never died. But what I've heard is that for some people its peaceful and for some people it's painful. But obviously when someone has died, they can't come back and tell us what it was like. But once your body is dead there is no more pain at least, that's what I know. But my darling Mackenzie, you're not dying" I tell her and kiss her forehead.