Beautiful things - jaylor story (peace book 4)

medical directive

-taylors Pov- 

I'm done with a shower and resting in bed with Ellie sound asleep beside me when I get a phone call and put in on speakerphone as I just can't bring it to my ear, it hurts too much. 

"am I speaking with Mrs. Alwyn?" a male voice says. "Yes, that's me" 

"i'm from the police station and wanted to give an update on your case. The driver of car that crashed with you died instantly but there has been a development and we know have a suspicion for what happened wasn't an accident" he says, and my eyes widen, and I get out of bed and into the bathroom just in case Ellie wakes up. 

"What do you mean? How do you know?" I ask and sit down on the floor leaning against the cabinets. "The driver was a frequent visitor of mr wiles in prison so given the situation yesterday where you and your oldest gave statements that supported further imprisonment of Mr. wiles we believe that this might be an act in retaliation of such statements" he says. 

I feel sick to my stomach and want to throw up... Of course Adam had a hand in this, that son of a bitch can't let go of me. Part of me think I should have known he was up to something, but here we are with my husband fighting for his life. We could all have died, but something tells me that was exactly what he wanted to happen. 

"so we are going to investigate further, and eventually we need you and your daugther to come in for interviews so we have all the information but given the state of your situation we can wait, and we will investigate in the meanwhile. We will keep in contact with your lawyer Mr. passman and communicate between him. We just wanted to call you personally and tell you what we know so far" he continues, and I try to take it all in. "oh ok. Then I will hear from him. Thank you for calling me" I tell him and try to keep my cool but it's hard to keep the tears from flowing. 

After we hang up, I can't take it anymore and burst into tears. Once again is my relationship with Adam putting my family in mortal danger and I can't help but blame myself. If I never had said yes to a date with him early 2015 I could have avoided all of this. If I never let him into my life my family wouldn't be in this kind of danger now. My actions all those years ago has potentially killed my husband and I can't forgive myself for that. First, he kidnapped my six-year-old but now he is resulting to trying to kill us all. When will this stop? Is this the worlds way of making me pay for my poor choices?

My boyfriend from almost 20 years ago is still haunting us and trying to infiltrate our lives, and that's on top of the danger my job brings to our lives. That's what I was scared of fifteen years ago when I was pregnant with Ellie, I was scared that my job and my past was going to hurt the family I was building. That's why I was holding back on starting a family in the first place, but I did because I wanted to keep the baby and realized how much joy motherhood brings to my life. I wouldn't trade my children for anything, but I do feel guilty that having me as their mother brings a constant danger to their lives. Even locked up behind bars Adam is putting them in danger.

And then there is my amazing husband, the love of my life and my best friend. He was the one I had been waiting for my whole life, the daylight at the end of a dark tunnel. When I meet him I finally felt like myself and that I could be who I always wanted to be. when I meet him, I felt like it didn't matter what the world outside said because we had one another. He brings out the best in me, he completes me, and I like to think that I bring out the best in him too, at least that's what he tells me. 

The fact that there is a chance I don't get to ever look into those ocean blue eyes again or hear his soft British voice is terrifying. He makes me strong; he makes me a better person. I can live without him, I'm a strong independent woman, but I don't want to. I don't want to ever life a day without him by my side. I don't want to live in a world where there Is no more him.