Jisung x NCT

I can Help you - ʰᵃᵉᶜʰᵃⁿ🥀

Jisung and Haechan's relationship is at stake... (Part1)

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Jisung and Haechan have been a couple for 3 months now and they got a little weird together.
Haechan was really depressed 3 months ago, but didn't tell his members. They didn't knew anything about Haechans little thoughts and deeds. They didn't notice the scars on his arms as the boy always wore a long hoodie. However, over time, Haechan has distanced himself more and more from the others and but Jisung noticed it with the time.
He noticed that Haechan was no longer himself but unexpectedly quiet and withdrawn. He laughed less and was rarely seen in private. He was always late for practice sessions and always looked dead tired, although he always claimed that he went to bed early and that it was just from the hard training.
Then one day, Jisung caught the elder trying to cut himself again. He stopped him immediately and yelled for his members, who all immediately came running. Since then, Jisung never let him out of his sight and was always there for him. Over time, the two fell in love with each other and were happy together. But their luck did not last long...

Jisung had struggled with depression of his own since childhood and even witnessed his own older brother commiting suicide right infront of his eyes.

He always thought he was okay and over it, but ever since he saw Haechan suffering, he keeps blaming himself for not noticing it sooner. Even after Haechan was fully healed the guilt is still there and now he thinks he is not enough for Haechan. He can't protect him. He would not be the right one.
H

aechan tells him a thousand times a day how much he loves him and how damn happy he is with the maknae. Without Jisung he would not have existed anymore and that is why he is so grateful to him.

"Jisungie I love you so much, thank you for always being there for me," Haechan whispers in the boy's ear and snuggles up to the boy. The two sit in the living room with the other Dream Members and watch a movie.
Jisung ponders about Haechan's words. And he realizes that he was there too late for Haechan. Haechan wears a white t-shirt as he is no longer ashamed of his scars. Jisung stares at the scars and blames himself for them.
'If only I had noticed sooner he wouldn't have scars now. Why can't I do anything right? I'm a horrible member, maknae and most of all boyfriend. I hate myself for Haechanie being hurt.'

He makes such accusations every day and there are more and more every day. The thoughts are getting worse and the images of the future darker....
He thinks about death, but then he thinks again about leaving Haechan and that it will hurt him again.
But Jisung deserves pain...
At least he thinks so. He wants to suffer. He wants to suffer just as long as Haechan had to. Only then does he deserve to be happy. But Jisung doesn't know how long Haechan has been like this. They never talked about it and Haechan was always grateful for that, but Jisung needs to know.

When the film ends, Haechan stands up, dragging Jisung with him.
"Let's go to sleep," he says, and then runs into her bedroom with Jisung. The other members only think their part and grin at each other.
When the two have arrived in the room, Jisung sees this as an opportunity to talk to his boyfriend about it. But Haechan has other plans.
"Jisungie we've been a couple for 3 months now. You changed my life and you make me happy. I never want to be with anyone else, so I'm asking you this... do you want to sleep with me?" Haechan asks with a seductive undertone. Jisung doesn't understand the allusion. He thinks Haechan means sleeping side by side in the bed and cuddling, so he just nods.

Haechan then pushes the boy onto the bed and kisses his neck and Jisung still thinks nothing of it, but he dares to ask Haechan about it.
"Haechanie, I've been thinking a lot and would like to know how long have you suffered from the depression?" As soon as Jisung uttered the last word, Haechan walked away from the boy and looked at him confused. "W-What do you mean? You never wanted to know anything about it. Why now all of a sudden?" Haechan asks nervously. Something hurt him, that Jisung is now asking about.
"I'm just interested," Jisung lied to his boyfriend and Haechan didn't like that answer at all.