Jisung x NCT

Voices - ⁿᶜᵗ🥀

Jisung lost his best friends a few years after becoming an NCT member due to a tragic accident in which he was also involved. Their ghosts have been haunting him ever since...

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"Jisungie why are you still here but not me?"

Jisung tries to block out the voice, but it keeps getting louder and worse. He can hardly fall asleep and even when he finally has some rest, he always dreams of the same day.

"You shouldn't have let Minhyuck drive!"

The voices blame him for the death of his friends, although Jisung knows full well that he had nothing to do with it.

"My parents have to suffer so much because of you!"

Jisung talked to his friends' parents and they were happy that Jisung didn't die. They didn't blame him for the accident. They were even very happy that at least Jisung had survived. It would have been far worse if none of the boys had survived.

"Jisung, are you coming to dinner?" Jeno pulls him out of his thoughts. Oh yes, he had completely forgotten that, he was also an idol and had duties to fulfill towards his fans. Everyone knows about Jisung's tragic experience and what he lost that day, but what nobody knows is that the boy is still suffering from it five years later. He went to the therapist regularly for three years, but at some point Jisung saw no point in it anymore. But he couldn't, or wasn't allowed to, break off just like that. He had to be written off as sane by the therapist so he wouldn't have to go to sessions anymore.

So he acted like everything was normal. Jisung is a good actor and knows how to suppress his emotions. He never told anyone about the voices so he doesn't have to fool anyone about them since nobody knew anyway. The therapist asked about appearances of his friends, but Jisung kept it a secret and it worked.
So Jisung has been living with the stress for two years now and can't tell anyone. He knows as soon as he tells anyone he'll have to go back or maybe even get kicked out of NCT and that can't happen to him. Even if it means his death.

"I'll come Hyung right away," says Jisung, breathing deeply in and out. Then he gets up and goes into the dining room. Of course the voices haunt him. They are with him every second and every day. They won't leave him alone. At first he was able to hide them, but now they are getting worse or Jisung is getting weaker.
"Jisung are you alright?" Mark asks the boy as Jisung enters the dining room.
"Huh? Ah yes, everything is fine," he lies to his hyung and then just sits down between Jaemin and Jeno. Mark looks at the boy suspiciously, but he can't force Jisung to tell the truth, so he lets it go for now.

"Tomorrow we have a training session with the Hyungs, which means we have to get up at 6 a.m. and then leave as soon as possible. We'll meet the Hyungs at 8 a.m. in Entertainment," says Mark and the others are somewhat confused.
"Why? What do we have to do?" Haechan asks but Mark doesn't know anything else either.
"No idea. Taeyong just called me earlier and said that I should pass it on to you and that we should be on time," says Mark, and everyone is halfway satisfied with that.
Only Jisung was struggling to keep the voices out of his head, so he didn't hear any of it and didn't know about Taeyong's request.

Only when everyone has finished eating and Jaemin puts his hand on Jisung's arm does the boy come back to reality.
"Jisung, you haven't eaten anything," he notices, and only now does Jisung notice how long he's been trying to suppress his voice and that he hasn't eaten anything.
"Ah yeah I'm not very hungry today," he tells Jqemin, giving him a fake smile.
"Hmm okay, but please eat something in the morning, okay?" Jaemin asks a bit worried and Jisung nods.
"Of course Hyung. I'm going to sleep now," he says and then disappears into his room.
There he immediately lies down on his bed and tries to close his eyes, but the voices bother him again.