Just Us - Wanda Maximoff x Fem!reader

I Thought I Was Helping

Trigger warnings: Mentions of abuse

Me and Yelena are sitting across from one another, both of our hands holding our mugs, as a silence fills the room. Yelena decided to go for a tea, something about coffee not being a good choice for someone who is naturally hyper and chaotic. The silence is deafening at this point but I don't know where I should start, or even if I should start or wait for Yelena to ask a question. But then again I did just ask her to listen so she is probably waiting on me to start talking at this point. I just need to find a starting point.

Do I start with what happened with Steph?

Or maybe I start with Sarah?

Or do I start with explaining how I feel right now and why I reacted the way I did?

Maybe I'm waiting for a question or for her to push to snap me out of it and just say it as it is, but she is being respectful and listening to my wishes and is just waiting for me. Maybe she sees the struggle behind my eyes and even if she doesn't know why she understands enough not to push, or maybe Nat just told her to shut up and listen to me. Honestly, that wouldn't surprise me because if an angry Natasha told me to shut up, sit down and listen I would do it without a second thought over fear of consequences of confrontation.

The sound of Yelena placing her now empty mug on the countertop finally brings my attention away from my mug and up at her. Silently, I slide over a coaster for her to put it on not wanting any stains on the marble. If I have to use a coaster she has to use a coaster, no stains on the marble. It takes a lot to clean it up and then it's never the same. She doesn't question it, placing her mug down on the coaster, the corner of her lip twitching upwards into a smile that either says I pity you or I'm sorry, or both.

"I don't need your pity." So I guess this is how I'm starting this. "I don't need your pity over things that have happened in my past. No amount of pity or sorry's is going to make it better. You can feel sorry for me all you want in your own mind but don't let it show on your face. I'm so tired of seeing people pity me. I'm not this broken shell of a human that needs people around them to be careful where they tread in fear of me breaking. So please Yelena don't look at me like that and expect me to open up to you. This isn't how this works. Seeing the pity on people's faces about things just makes it worse because it just reminds me that I trapped myself in those situations and that I am partly to blame for what I went through."

"How can I pity you about something I do not know about? Sure I have an idea but I cannot come up with my own conclusions and decide that it must be that. I was not giving you a look of pity, I'm just trying to silently tell you I'm going to listen."

"But when I tell you, you can't pity me." Yelena purses her lips to the side at my request.

"I don't think I can tell you I won't pity you in some way, because it is a natural human reaction but I can do my best to keep it to myself and be here for you in the way you need me to be."

"I guess I can live with that." Yelena chuckles and it makes me smile slightly; okay I think I can do this.

"Okay. We can take as long as you need Y/n, there is no rush to tell me everything." I press my lips together nodding at Yelena. "I just want to understand what happened between us yesterday and how I can fix it."

"I lost my wife and daughter 2 years ago. Sarah, my wife, this was her house. Our home. I loved her more than I thought was possible until I gave birth to Evie, now it's a different sort of love but the love I had for Evie was just as strong if not stronger. Then when they died I met Steph, who is the person you met yesterday, and at first it was friendship and she helped me through some of my grief and from friendship it turned into something more. But that's when everything changed. She changed and it wasn't a good change either and even though me and her broke up like 10 months ago maybe a few more. The timeline is kinda blurry, but even with it being so long she still has this control over me."