To Be A Deer

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Friday 26th November 2021

Breathing in slowly, the smell of freshly washed sheets as well as the soft feeling against my skin making my body melt into the bed. I groan as I stretch, my eyes remaining closed to block out the light of the day seeping through the window.

I know it is late afternoon but I really don't care right now I am comfy.

I push my arm out to find Wanda's hand, brows scrunching when I can't feel her presence next to me so I choose to drag her pillow next to me so I can cuddle into it and remain in this bed a little longer.

I pull the pillow close to me taking in a deep breath, loving the lingering scent of Wanda - wait - that's not what Wanda smells like. She smells of strawberries, always strawberries, this pillow smells like it has just been washed.

I open one eye, pushing my hands into the bed to lift myself up slightly and look around the room.

Oh shit.

I'm not with Wanda.

I am not even in New York at this point.

Everything from yesterday hits me like a truck and I let my body flop back into the bed with a groan, now not wanting to leave the safe haven it creates around me as I pull the duvet up and over my head: a last line of defence from the outside world.

My tranquil peace is quickly disturbed by a rapid knocking on the door. Instead of being rational and getting up to see who is knocking at the door I reach for a pillow and pull it over my head in an attempt to block out the sound. Of course my attempt is futile but no one knows I am here so whoever is knocking, probably a neighbour or postman, will go away in a moment when no one opens the door to them.

Smiling to myself once the knocking subsides I allow myself to relax back into the comfort of the bed, letting the feeling of sinking into it swallow me whole. I could fall back asleep very easily right now and then I wouldn't have to think about anything that has happened and I can be happy happy happy in dreamland.

I can feel myself about to drift off to that amazing world but the sound of keys in the lock jolts me awake. Who the fuck? I do my best to get out of bed quietly and pull a hoodie over my head since I don't want to confront whoever is entering the house right now in just my sleep shorts. I grab a baseball bat from the corner of the room and open the bedroom door as slowly but also as quickly as I can to try to stop it from creaking.

I listen to the front door opening and closing as I make my way downstairs, the bat in my hand ready to strike the intruder, taking a deep slow breath as I try to calm my heart that's hammering in my chest. As my foot reaches the bottom step a loud creak echoes through the house and I wince at the sound, holding my breath as I hear footsteps move closer and closer this way.

"Y/n?" I drop the bat at the sound of her voice, making my way quickly over to them and into their open arms, bending down slightly to hide my face against their neck, ignoring how tear stained their face is, and I break down into sobs. "It's okay. It's okay. I am so glad you're safe. It's okay."

"M'sorry." Their grip on me tightens as a hand weaves through my hair and I feel a few soft pecks being placed on the top of my head.

"No none of that. I promise it's okay." The hand moves to the back of my neck, the other hand rubbing soothingly up and down my back as I hold on tightly to the back of their shirt.

"I shouldn't h-h-have left l-l-like that. I'm so so so-so-sorry." I cry out as everything I have been feeling takes over.

"Shh now, just breathe for me. It's okay. Just breathe for me."

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