Just Us - Wanda Maximoff x Fem!reader

How Have I Made It Worse?

⚠️ Trigger Warning: panic/anxiety attack, brief mention of PTSD, assault and abuse⚠️

(Y/n PoV)

Everything sounds like it is underwater, my mind warping the reality around me and I can't tell if the ground is actually moving like a liquid or if my eyes are moving so fast that it is creating the illusion in front of me. There's a low hum, or maybe a vibration that I can feel passing through my ears but my brain can't decipher what the sound is, but I can only guess its Steph or one of the sisters talking.

I can feel a sting on my fingers, as my thumb picks away at them, but the pain is hardly a distraction from what I'm feeling. If I'm even feeling anything. My brain is screaming at me to run, to get away and move as far away from Steph as possible but my body is frozen; the two parts of me fighting a battle that I don't have any control over.

I'm just watching, I'm standing in the void just watching my body and brain combust and collapse in on itself. I can feel the way my finger tips are bleeding from the brutality of my thumb, the way a blinding headache is building behind my eyes, the way my whole body is drained of all warmth instead it seems to be filling with what can only be described as ice cold water. I watch myself lose the battle of my inner turmoil, I feel myself being pulled deep under the waves that are crashing over me, the storm brewing within showing now signs of dissipating. No eye to the storm which can allow me a moment of reprieve.

I'm suddenly pulled back into my own body, the sound of the outside world deafening and my hands shoot to my ears, my eyes squeezing shut to block out as much of it as possible. I shake my head from side to side a little, the sounds of the New York traffic filter through, the way in which people around us are going about their day laughing, the clinks of cups of those enjoying a coffee around us. The birds singing, usually known to be beautiful, sounds like a child blowing into a recorder with no idea how to use it, the sound a simple high pitch screech that can make anyone's ears bleed.

My eyes shoot open, my body startling slightly, when I feel a pair of hands rest on top of mine. I go to fight away from their hold, but the moment my eyes meet theirs I lose all my fight, all my power to be able to run, my last bit of strength drains from me. I lose to the battle within as I push myself off the chair collapsing into them, their strong arms wrap around me as they push my head into their neck creating a fortress of solitude from the outside world. My hands still on my ears but the comfort of their embrace is safe, it's not her but it's safe and it allows all those bubbling emotions that have been fighting to get out to break free.

I cry into their neck, my hands dropping from my ears and quickly hooking my arms under theirs and gripping tightly to the back of their shirt. Their hand remains on the back of my head, keeping it in place, gently moving their fingers against my scalp giving me a feeling from the outside to concentrate on. Their other hand is on my back, my body shaking with the powerful sobs that have taken over, a small circle being drawn over and over with a single finger; and I think they are swaying us side from side a little.

I pull myself as close as I can to this person when I feel one more hand being ever so gently being placed on the back of my neck, I know I'm safe in this person's arms and they wouldn't let any harm come to be so I don't try and escape when the fingers on the back of my neck start tracing around the skin there.

"It's just Lena." The soft voice breaks through the barrier of noise, everything else falling silent as I feel a soft breath near my ear. "We've got you Y/n, we're right here. Just let it out. Let it all out."

"Spider?" I croak into her neck, a small hum and nod is all I feel against my head, being surrounded by her - someone I trust - helping to bring me back without even trying.