[GL] I tamed the female lead

Chapter 40

"Well..."

Astéria didn't say anything and just waited for me to continue patiently.

"I am a good singer but I don't like singing in front of others. I actually hate it."

It was the first time I talked about this to someone. Not even Orange knew about it. It wasn't that I had any secrets from her but I didn't like talking about these things. And it wasn't as if the topic ever came up. My new parents fortunately never forced me to sing and I gave up on singing all together. I did start feeling a bit suffocated but nothing serious.

"Thank you for your honesty. I am sorry that I asked."

I shook my head:

"No! Don't be sorry. You didn't know anyway."

She hesitated for a second before asking:

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to but may I ask why you don't like singing in front of others?"

I smiled:

"Oh, it's not that interesting of a story.

-Well, if you don't mind, I would still love to hear it.

-Nothing really. I was just put too much pressure on as a kid and it came out as an uncontrollable fear of failure. Other things are fine but for some reason I can't take the stress of singing. Other times I feel confident and determined knowing perfectly my worth but I can't stand the idea of losing while singing."

Was I being too honest? I pinched my lips realizing that that was way out of line. I should have stopped after my first sentence. No one cared about my mental health and especially not Astéria. What if I gave her way too much information and she used it against me in the future? I frowned. How could she use this against me? But Astéria only looked pained. Why did she look so sad right now? What did I say to make her teary? No, Astéria couldn't be feeling sad for me. I couldn't forget that she was acting. Why could I never remember this detail?

"I am so sorry to hear this... It must have been very hard."

I shrugged:

"It's really okay."

Astéria suddenly caught my hand which made me jump:

"It's not okay."

For some reason I felt my throat close up. There was something so intense about her stare and I couldn't look away completely petrified. I really was okay. I was always okay and I didn't understand why Astéria looked so pained. She was doing an incredible job but I knew she was just acting so I just shrugged it off. The only person who would really care about me was be Orange.

"Anyway, I don't think I'll be able to sing in front of the whole school even if I would love to. We could find something else that our class could do."

Astéria looked at me for two more seconds before retreating her hand from mine.

"What about a play?

-That's a great idea! I like acting."

And Astéria was the best actor in this world.

"What piece could we play?"

Astéria looked at the painting behind me.

"What about Trojan Women from Euripides?

-That's my favorite play!"

I got too excited and spilled the tea in front of me. I didn't see her get up but the next second Astéria was up and next to me and she gently took my hand before wiping the liquid away with a frown. She was so quick that she had already finished by the time I woke up: