Come Here, Little One

Something Sharp

Thanks for the request @lokislove04

TRIGGER WARNINGS!
This story contains the topics of depression and self harm.
Please use caution when reading.

Everyone has their breaking points. Yours just so happened to be today. Stress at work and with family and with things out of your control. You needed a release. Something to make you feel again. Something intense. Something that will bring pain. You ease yourself into a scorching hot bath. The way the water burns your skin brings you an odd comfort. "Darling where are you?" Loki calls out after he returned home. "In the bath." You reply just waiting for his footsteps to get closer. "Ah here you are. Hope your bath is nice." He says walking into the bathroom and taking a seat on the floor. He dips his hand into the water only to yelp and pull away quickly. "Little one that is way too hot. You'll hurt yourself." "Really? I think it's fine. Maybe you're more sensitive to temperatures because you're Jotun." You say trying to get him to not question things. He runs his hand under cold water from the sink. "Maybe but please don't make your baths that hot again. I don't want something to go wrong and you get hurt." "Ok I'll try that next time." You say as you smile up at him. He leans down to kiss you before leaving. With the door shut you sink down into the water so more of your skin can burn. Once the water starts to cool you get out. You take a moment to look over your body in the mirror. Your skin is bright red as ones would after being submerged in practically boiling water. You also notice some blisters, exactly what you wished for, so you can peel and pick at later when you needed another fix.

After the day you had a hot bath won't cut it. You needed something more, something sharp. You rummage through Lokis bedside table drawer to find the one thing that will help. Your heartbeat quickened when you pulled it out and it shined in the light. He forbade you from using it because he knows about your intentions with an object like this. But he wasn't the boss of you. If he were you he'd do the same. You lock yourself in the bathroom and get to work. You lay in the tub with the water running but no drain stop. Easier clean up, easier to hide the evidence. The coolness of the porcelain giving you an odd sense of calm. You knew you had to be quick about things because Loki would be home soon. You take his dagger and press the blade to your forearm. With a quick motion it leaves a trail of red. You let the blood pool at the surface before rinsing it off with the tub faucet. You made another cut below the first and repeated till you started to feel the release you craved. You never cut at your wrists out of fear of hitting your artery. You are switching the dagger to your other hand when urgent knocking pulled you back to reality. Loki was home and you didn't shut the drawer you took the blade from. "Little one I know you're in there. I know you're hurting. Please come out. I can help you please darling don't do this to yourself!" He calls as he pounds on the door. You start to feel intense pain, something new and ultimately wrong. You look down at your wrist and see it gushing blood. That's not normal. You try to wash it away with water but it just turns the tub to a red colored mess. "Shit." You mutter as Loki continues to plead outside the door. "(Y/N) please don't be afraid. I'm not mad at you. Just let me help. Let me make it better." You can hear in his voice that he is crying. You wrap your wrist up with a towel and put pressure on the cut. Next you try to get out of the tub but you're losing a lot of blood and are starting to feel light headed. Slowly you crawl out, keeping low to the ground so if you fall, it wouldn't be as long of a trip down. You knew you needed help, the towel was already soaked and dripping onto the tile floor. "Please my love say something." "I-I need help. I hurt myself. I don't feel good." You cry as hot tears stream down your face. Pain and shame and fear overflowing your mind. You wished you could just disappear. Just poof like you never even existed. Your vision starts to tunnel just as you see the door violently swing open. Frantically Loki kneels down next to you. You've never seen him that pale then you remembered it's probably from seeing all the blood. You are covered in it. He starts to pick you up and you pass out.

A consistent beep and an uncomfortable itchy feeling on your arms brings you back to consciousness. You look down to see thick bandages wrapped around your forearm and wrist. There to bandage your self inflicted wounds. You look over at what was beeping. An IV system with bags of clear and red liquids. Your vision still a little unfocused but you think you can make out type something blood on the label of the red one. The door opens and your head snaps to it. Loki walks in with a nurse, telling her something. "Ah little one you're awake. The nurse will fix that annoying beeping. How do you feel?" He asks as he walks over to the side of the bed. His hands caress your face and you lean into him. "I'm ok. What happened?" "You passed out because you lost a lot of blood. I brought you to the hospital so they could fix you up. You needed a transfusion. They didn't have your type so I gave you some of mine." He says with a smile. This only caused you to cry. You've put Loki through so much. You didn't deserve someone like him. "Oh darling don't cry. Everything is alright now." He says as he wipes away your tears with his thumb. "I'm sorry I did this to you." You whimper causing him to crouch down next to you and told your hand tight. "You've done nothing to me my love. You're the only one in pain." "But I went through your things and stole your dagger." "I don't care about that (Y/N). I only care about you getting better so you don't feel like you need to do that. I want you to come to me when you have those feelings. I want to help you." He says as he kisses your temple. You only nod and lean more into his touch.

Loki takes you to your therapist and doctors appointments every week. He's always there when you need to talk. He's understanding and compassionate even when you feel like your problems are so trivial. He is your rock, always has been.

"Little one how would you like a trip to Asgard soon? I think a little get away will do you some good. We can even see the healers and they can help with your scars. How does that sound?" He asks one night in bed while you both read. "Sounds nice but I don't want to get rid of my scars." "Ok but why?" "Because every time I see them they remind me all of what I could have lost. The big one being losing you. So now whenever I get low I look at them to remind myself to ask you for help." "Awe that's so kind my love. I'm always glad to help because I love you." He says as he kisses you lips and pulls you close to him. "I love you too Loki." You giggle before hooking your leg over his hip and pulling the blanket up.