twisted // tyler seguin

thirty one

Me and Jessica decided on going out to eat for lunch to talk about the past couple of days. She scheduled me for a Wednesday afternoon, due to her, quote on quote 'thick schedule'. I'd decided that I much rather believe a pathological liar before I gave credit to whatever bullshit she was planning on spouting out to me. Nonetheless, I had to turn the other cheek, for according to everyone around me, that attitude was the reason I was in the situation I was in now.

She picked some artsy outdoor seating restaurant that looked like it had high prices. By her offering to pay for my meal, it proved my theory even more.

I was sitting in front of her, watching her light a cigarette. She would need one for the conversation we were about to have. It was much hotter than it was yesterday, a rough, dry breeze rolling lazily over the city. Jessica's cigarette smoke lifted into the atmosphere, disappearing quickly. The exhaust surrounded her hazy head.

"It's nice to see you again, Savnnah." More smoke released from her body as she greeted me. "You look beautiful."

"Cut the crap Jessica." The cheesy cliche opening she was trying to portray was merely a waste of time. "You know what I'm here for. I would like some answers."

A stupid grin evolved on her flawless face. "Answers to what? There's a lot of questions that need to be answered." Jessica took a long drag of her cigarette, probably in preparation of what was to come.

"Okay, for starters, why are you down here? Shouldn't you be back home?" My hands gripped my chair out of anxiousness. The churning of my stomach gave me an uneasy feeling.

Another drag. "I'm just going to lay it all on the table. Savannah, I'm no longer Ryan's fiancee. He's a piece of walking shit who's living in his typical twenties. You're still mad at me over prom, I can tell. I'd thought you'd be over it, but it's obvious that you're not. I was inebriated that night, and when I say that, I mean I was wasted. I took pictures with everyone high. Someone snuck me some hard liquor, and I was gone. So was Ryan. But before I seem like the bad guy I've been deemed for years, I want you to know this: he was onto me all night. Everywhere I went, he was there.

"He kept saying weird shit, like 'Jess I've always loved you', 'You look stunning tonight,' and the worst of them all, 'I never loved Sav'. He kept calling you a dumb slut, and all of this other ridiculous drunk shit. He couldn't keep his hands off of me. Then we headed outside and that's when the alcohol took over. We hooked up. I was drunk. I didn't gain anything out of it. It was just.. drunk sex."

"And the thought of me never ran through your head? Jessica, I don't even know why you're telling me this, I already know what happened. Stop recapping it. I don't need to relive it, I already do every day." My voice was a lot more calmer than I expected it to be. Maybe it was because I was used to it.

Jessica took another drag of her cigarette, this time the ashes visibly falling off the end of the butt. "Sav, I know. I- I just need to say that I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for everything over the past couple of years, I'm so-"

A chuckle ripped out from my throat. "No you're not. You weren't sorry when you took my place in the senior house were you? Money I saved up, money I worked for. You took it. Why are you always trying to play the victim? Matter of fact, everyone wants to play the victim, when in reality, I'm the victim!"

Jessica scoffed. "Maybe if you stood up for yourself once in a while, you wouldn't be a 'victim'."

"You think I don't realize that? Why the hell do you think I'm in this fight with Tyler? I tried to stand my ground for once, for once in my life, now look at where that got me. He's out of my life, and everyone around me is yelling at me for it. You think I wanted him to leave? NO! I didn't! But yet, he did. Either way, I'm always the bad guy. All I ever try to do is make others happy by doing what's right. But no, all I ever get is 'Savannah, grow up', 'What are you talking about Sav' and a bunch of other degrading bullcrap. I can never win. I can never please anyone."