twisted // tyler seguin

thirty six

Today, I woke up sick. No, not morning sickness. If it was, then Tyler and I would be screwed. With a capital S. But I was sick, the type of sick that needed a thermometer, NyQuil, and a ton of tissues. Which, I should note, Tyler had none of. Except for a box of tissues, that were gone by the second hour of me being awake.

He spent the whole day taking care of me, like the baby I was. I loved it. He didn't, I could tell. He planned on taking me out today, to do something, quote on quote, "romantic" (what Tyler considered 'romantic' was as much as a mystery to me as to why he didn't own a thermometer). Maybe it wasn't the romanticism he was looking for, but I sure as hell found it today as we laid in each other's arms, and measured our breathing patterns.

Another thing that really set me on fire was Tyler's affection towards me today. He was unusually quiet, but his grip on my waist as we laid in bed spoke louder than any word he did all day. His lips occasionally pressed against my forehead and whispered those three words that I loved so much, but other than that, he barely made a peep.

I didn't know if he was really upset about not going out today, or if something was bothering him. It had to be the latter, I just had a gut feeling. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I asked him if he was okay, and he would nod and reassure me by kissing my temple. He probably thought it was reassuring me, but it did anything but.

It was a couple of hours, a cup of DayQuil, and a Mucinex DM later that Tyler suggested that we actually do something. I didn't refuse, it was fine with me as long as it made him feel better. He suggested that we use the fire pit in the corner of the backyard and hang out. I never even knew he had a fire pit, but then again I barely left the house. It was placed next to the fence that barricaded the house and the sidewalk, making it feel comfy and autumn-ish.

It was around 7 when we were outside, setting the fire pit up. We as in Tyler, mostly. I sat on the bench facing it, with a box of tissues next to me and a worried mind. Tyler threw in log after log before he set the lid over the small fire. He sat down on the bench with a thud and a groan, sighing as he watched the fire moved around in the stiff breeze under it's restraints.

Tyler's gaze alternated between the fire and me. His eyes still managed to make my heart beat increase, no matter the situation. I whistled out a tune to break the silence, but it seemingly only made it worse when Tyler ran a hand over his face.

He sighed again, which was a sign for me to stop whistling. "Sav, can I talk to you about something?" Tyler's voice was deep and serious.

"Yeah, of course. You can talk to me about anything." I rubbed my exposed knees. He was making me nervous, and a bit uncomfortable. "I could tell something was bothering you, I just didn't feel like it was right to ask."

He shrugged. "No, you're fine. Just promise you won't get mad at me, okay?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" The words reluctantly rolled off of my tongue as I narrowed my eyes.

"No, it's nothing bad, Sav. I just don't want to offend you in anyway, no matter what direction this conversation takes, you know?"

What the hell was he talking about? "Tyler, I'm sure I won't get mad. If you need to get it off of your chest, then go ahead."

He sighed again. "Okay, well, can you tell me like, what I can expect when we go to your reunion?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What? Is that what's been bothering you?"

"No, I just.. it's deeper than that." Tyler shifted uncomfortably, obviously having issues with his wording. "Honestly, it's that kid, Sav. I've been thinking about him recently, and it's been bothering me. I know that I shoul-"

"Are you talking about Ryan?" I cried out. They didn't even know each other, so what the hell was the problem?

"Yes, Sav. Listen, I know it sounds bad, but you really have to just listen to me. I've been thinking about this kid, and it's just been bothering me. He just, he sounds like a prick and I-"

"Well, maybe because he is one." I interrupted.

Tyler gave me a disappointed look. "See? I've been thinking. Is this guy going to treat you wrong when we get there? It's just.. the situation is making me uneasy."

A small grin creeped onto my face. "I didn't know you were the protective type, Tyler. And no, I'm sure he won't treat me wrong, it's been years since we've seen each other. I mean, I would hope he wouldn't.."

"Ah shit, man I didn't mean it like that. Sav, I just don't want you getting hurt. I mean, I know I haven't met this guy yet, but I just want to make sure you're okay with every decision that you're making. I know this guy means a lot to you. I mean, he took your virginity and I understand how much that means to you. But I just don't want to see you go through another heartbreak. I don't know if what I'm saying is making sense to you, I just.. wish I could find the right words." Tyler began to rub his facial hair.

All I could do was watch him. What was there to say? He barely ever opened up to me like this, so why ruin the moment?

He sighed again. "I think I'm just scared of losing you to him, honestly. I'm so dependent on you, probably more than you even know. You changed my life, for the better, and I really mean that. I know how much value he holds in your life, and I can't help but feel a little... underhanded? I don't know if that's the right word, but I feel like he could just snatch you away from me, you know? It kinda pisses me off a little, but it's whatever I guess. I'm sorry if I made you worry today, but I just wanted to tell you, I guess. I probably sound like a piece of shit, sorry." A nervous laugh came out of Tyler's mouth.

"Tyler," I whined. The familiar burning sensation came back as I furrowed my eyebrows. Instantly, I lowered my head. A lump formed in my throat as I tried to continue my sentence, much to my dismay. "Tyler, if you felt like that all day you could've told me earlier, you know." I looked away, as a couple of tears formed in my eyes.

"I know, but it felt like I would be an ass or something. I'd just thought I'd lay it on the table you know?" He looked at me solemnly.

My lip trembled as I took a deep breath. "Thanks, I guess." A sob slipped from my throat, catching Tyler's attention.

He furrowed his eyebrows, sitting up. "Are you crying?"

I nodded, wiping my eyes. "I'm such a baby, I'm sorry."

"Why are you crying? Was it something I said?" Tyler stood up and walked over towards me. He sat down and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer. My tears fell harder as I shook my head.

"I just, I don't know." I sniffled again, burying myself into his chest. "You shouldn't feel like that. I feel bad now, that you feel like this. I really shouldn't have dragged you into this, honestly."

Tyler lifted my chin and met my gaze with a serious face. "You're not dragging me anywhere, Sav. I love you. You stopped becoming a burden when you moved in. Honestly, you're fine. I want to know more about you. It really doesn't bother me. What bothers me, is when you think you're a burden."

His hand went to my eyes to wipe away another tear. I exhaled loudly, my eyes drifting away. "I'm sorry, Tyler."

He shuffled my hair with his huge hands, smiling. "Somethings just never change, do they?"

"What?"

Tyler kissed me gently. "Nothing babe."