twisted // tyler seguin

forty one

Being in Ryan's presence gave me an uneasy feeling that ate me inside out. It felt as if I was some type of puny boat that was capsized by a rogue wave of emotions.

So many memories were waiting to be uncaged, waiting to be remembered again since they grew old in the bitter head of mine, at least. But the memories that burned strong in my mind- the heartaches and mistakes, their roaring flames suddenly soothed down into a flickering fire. And the memories that I overlooked were burning steady, steadier than the memories I would like to forget.

It was hard to stay mad at him when he looked so good. His hair grew out and his skin was the definition of sun kissed. Oh, and his smile- it was flawless, just like it always was. Those green eyes never failed to send shivers throughout my whole body, like some a cold winter breeze.

We were still sitting at the dining room table, this time a little more comfortable since we were the only ones. I also made sure to have an alcoholic drink on hand in preparations for anything sentimental. "You really look beautiful Savannah. I can't believe you dyed your hair brown." Ryan ran his huge hands through my hair, examining each string.

"It was on a whim." I said as I watched him admire me. "It really wasn't anything to it, honestly. Just wanted something different."

Ryan nodded, still analyzing my appearance. "It makes you look so different. The dirty blonde was such a... such a signature look for you."

"You think so? I kinda didn't like the brown hair as of recently anyway." I took my hair into my own hands and examined the brown strands. "I asked Tyler, and he said that I looked good either way."

"Well off course he did," Ryan chimed out laughing. "That's your boyfriend. That's his job, to make you feel good about yourself."

I twisted my face at him. "Since when did I need a boyfriend to feel good about myself?"

Ryan rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. "I didn't mean it like that, Savannah. You know how girls are with their boyfriends, always wanting them to praise them."

"And who says I'm one of them, Ryan?" I sat my elbow on the table and placed my hand in my palm.

Ryan groaned as he rolled his eyes again. "Forget it, Savannah. I'm not going to argue with you."

"Nobody said it was an argument, you know." I took a sip out of my drink.

"You love him, don't you?"

The question made my stomach drop and my body quiver. Ryan's eyes were serious, and showed a bit of affection in the gloss that surrounded them. I wanted my answer to offend him in as many ways possible, so he could know that I was doing fine without him.

"Yeah. I love him a lot, he means the world to me. Actually, he is my world." I tried to make myself sound as sappy as possible, like they do in those romance movies. "He's always making sure that I'm okay and that I'm making the right decisions. I try to do the same for him, but he's got himself a bit more figured out better than I have myself."

Ryan stared at me with an unsettling impassive look. "That's good to hear, I guess. Sounds like a nice thing to have."

I shrugged, taking a much needed gulp of my drink. "It's always nice to have him around. How are you and Jessica?"

Ryan scoffed loudly. "I don't even know why I even got engaged to that bitch. Fuck, I hate her. She hates me too. We hate each other. I never changed my mind about something so quickly." He began to run a hand through his hair.

"That's funny, neither of you were saying that on the night of prom." The alcohol was obviously beginning to seep through my blood because I wouldn't have the balls to say anything like that when I was sober.

Ryan furrowed his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes. "That's because we were both wasted. We hooked up and we thought we could base something off of that since it was so good, but how could we if it we were both drunk? What the hell even made you bring that up?"

I shrugged, taking another gulp before finishing the can and throwing it out. "Just a thought. Jess told me that you said you loved her that night."

Ryan looked away and sighed before leaning onto his knees. "I was drunk, Savannah. Of course I would say something like that."

"It's funny how you said that to her a lot quicker then you would say it to me. But we were the 'Best couple' right?" I made sure to put the air quotes around best couple to enhance the fact that it was complete bullshit.

Ryan shook his head. "What the hell are you talking about?" His voice was full of annoyance and seriousness.

I shrugged, sighing. "Forget it." What was I talking about? I was rambling on and on, and I had to stop before I said something irrational. Ryan gave me a cynical look. "Quit looking at me like that."

He let out a charming chuckle before looking back into my eyes. "Enough about me. How's college in Dallas?"

I sighed. "I don't go any more. I got a severe concussion around two months ago, and I couldn't really do anything since it was so bad, so they kicked me out of the dorms and stuff. I'm much better now, but I just never went back."

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "How in the hell did you get a concussion?" His smile broke through mid sentence.

I gave him a silly chagrined look. "Tyler, he's um, a professional hockey player?" My voice went up at the end to make the sentence which made it sound like a question. "And one day I was at a game, and he hit the puck wrong and it shot into the crowd and hit me directly in my forehead, which gave me the concussion. He let me move in and stuff after I left college, and we've pretty much been together since then."

Ryan's mouth was wide open, slightly bent into a smile. "So he plays for the NHL?" I nodded my head sheepishly. "So he's like, famous?" I nodded again. "What's his last name?" He got his iPhone out and pulled up the keyboard.

"Seguin." I said nonchalantly. This bothered me. A lot. Ryan googled his name, and nine other than Tyler popped up.

"Holy shit," Ryan kept scrolling with his face aghast. "His salary is fucking insane. Do you know how many girls would kill to be in your spot?"

I rolled my eyes before he saw me. "I'm sure that plenty of them are."

Ryan locked his phone and got up out of his chair. "Wait until everyone hears-"

"Stop, Ryan." I got up and gripped his arm faster than I thought I could. "Please don't tell anyone, seriously. It's not that big of a deal."

He turned around. "Why not? You should take pride in that type of shit."

I crossed my arms. "That's what I'm trying to avoid. You know, there's more to a person than their identity. I'm sure he got enough of that in the past."

Ryan gave me a mischievous grin that reminded me of Tyler's. "Fine," he leaned in close. "Anything for you, baby girl." He kissed my cheek softly. My face started burning at an uncomfortable temperature.

"Ryan, don't do that." I muttered. I gripped his soft, strong arms and pushed them away. They felt weird since I was so used to Tyler's tattoos covering his arms.

"Quit being so modest Savannah, what's wrong with having a little fun and breaking a couple of rules?" He ran a hand through my chestnut hair again. "Your boyfriend isn't even here anyway, so who cares?"

"I care, Ryan. You might not have a girlfriend, but I have a boyfriend, and I'm not about to cheat on him." I said it in a malicious tone more for me to reprimand my desires, than for Ryan to get his arms off of me.

He smiled, raising his eyebrows. "If you say so, Savannah."