twisted // tyler seguin

forty eight

The last days that Tyler and I spent back home dragged on. It felt like my black eye grew a new color every hour, which apparently, according to Tyler, 'turned him on'. I hated the hideous bruise, but probably no where near as much as my mom. It made her call the cops on Ryan and file a report for physical assault. My dad didn't do much in the process except for support my Mom's every word, which hadn't changed since I was younger. What happened to Ryan after we filed the report was beyond me, and quite frankly, I didn't want to know. The night I got 'physically assaulted', I made my way over to the drugstore and found some blonde hair dye. I couldn't continue to look at the hideous brown hair I had, so I took care of that quickly. It felt like the only thing I had control over.

I woke up that Sunday morning and decided I had to get out of this suburban hell. It was around 7 AM and I couldn't sleep, so I woke Tyler up and took him to the beach. He didn't know that's where we were going because I didn't tell him, and plus if I did he probably wouldn't listen since he was so tired. I told him to dress for the pool. He didn't really fight me on this one due to his fatigue, which I was thankful for.

I left my parents a note on the table and made my way down to Wildwood. It was a stronghold for families, and wealthy teenagers with shore houses who really didn't deserve or need them. My irritation was probably going to rise as soon as I stepped foot onto the boardwalk, but I had to do something instead of stay in the house all day. Tyler slept halfway through the ride and woke up with a face full of confusion. Before he had the chance to chastise me, I explained him everything- how I left a note, and where we were going and what to expect there. He didn't mind too much I guess since he didn't give me the weird looks he usually did. I guess it was because I told him I was paying for everything.

When we got there, I made sure the beach was the first stop we made, and not the rides. Tyler was still sleepy, I could tell by the way he shuffled his feet and rubbed his eyes. I still couldn't believe he was all mine. As soon as we sat down on the beach, I set myself up to go to sleep. The sun wasn't too high up since it was still a bit early in the morning.

When I woke up, Tyler was on the phone. He looked at me and smiled, and ran a hand through my freshly dyed blonde hair. He told the person he was on the phone with that he'd talk to them later. It was apparently a friend of his named Mike, someone he seemed to hang out with a lot. Tyler told me that he hadn't heard from him in a while.

After relaxing on the beach, we walked around the boardwalk and ate a shit ton of food. I introduced Tyler to funnel cake, a boardwalk staple. He loved it and ate more of it than I did. The genuine smile on his face made this terrible trip all worth it. What didn't make me happy though, was the lustful gazes Tyler was receiving from the young teenage girls. I had my sunglasses on, so they couldn't see me staring at them much to my dismay.

Throughout the day (and the trip, honestly), I couldn't help but feel worthless. There was no greater blessing bestowed on me than me and Tyler's lives intertwining. There were so many girls that could take better care of him than me, girls that shared his sense of humor and fast-paced lifestyle. Girls that could possibly give him what he wanted better than I could. But yet, he wanted me. As bad as I felt like I wasn't good enough for him, I refused to see him with any other girl.

I told Tyler this, and I also told him everything that he could possibly know about me since I did cheat him out a little when it came to my identity. I told him how I was the typical average girl in middle school, and the beginning of high school. How I craved attention from the wrong people that I thought were the right people. How when I got the attention, I let it get into my weak head. I also told him an in-depth review of me and Ryan's relationship. It was twisted, and I realized that as the each word came out of my mouth.

All Tyler did was listened. He looked me in my eyes and occasionally at my lips. He would ask a question here and there, but overall, he would simply listen. It was something that I really needed more than I knew I did. When I was finished speaking, he let my stories linger in the air for a little. I guess it was to prepare me for what he was about to say, which brought tears to my eyes.

Tyler took a sip of his soda before continuing. "I always knew that you had some type of back story when I first met you. Your sister said you were stubborn, and always wanted to be independent, and now I see why, but you still want to be for some reason. You had fun teenage years, but you regret them so much.

"Sometimes it's best to learn from those regrets Sav, and to not have them eat you up inside out like you let them. You're such a beautiful girl and I can tell you want me to hate you, or leave you for whatever reason, but I won't. You think that you're not a match for me, but I promise me you are. If you could just see how beautiful you are, then fuck Sav, you'd see why I am the way I am about you. I really love you, and I can certainly promise that. I'm so tha-"

I interrupted him and pulled him in for a kiss. I heard enough from the man's mouth. I've been told that it's best to fall in love with actions and not words, but who can really do that when the words are sweeter than a slice a cake? I was a fool. And I was okay with that, because it was Tyler. I was 22, and in love. Again.

After leaving the beach, the last two days went by lazily. I apologized to my parents for my erratic behavior. My mom hugged me and said it was okay, and that she only wanted the best for me. I knew her words held truth by the way she wiped at her eyes. My dad's lips were pursed and he nodded at every sentence my mom said. I promised her that the next time she saw me, she would be proud of me. She said she already was.

I felt better. It felt like everything was falling into place, finally. It was liberating. I was trapped in some maze that only seemingly went into circles and lead me back to where I started. But things have changed, walls have moved, and I was free with a new perspective. A better perspective. A perspective that will allow me to see my way out, if I was to be trapped again.

But hopefully, I wouldn't have to deal with that.