twisted // tyler seguin

forty three

Ryan and I were together most of the night. He got more and more attractive after each drink I had, and I had a couple. There was no way I wasn't deemed drunk. I was stumbling everywhere and everything that came to mind fell out of my mouth.

I didn't know where Tyler was. Whether it was because I just didn't take the time to look or I just couldn't find him, I really didn't know.

Ryan and I migrated to the roof of the house. How he managed to find a way to access it was left to my imagination. It was a cloudless, starry night on the east coast. The moon was full and I could see Venus glowing confidently next to it.

Ryan was rolling a blunt next to me, much to my surprise. "Where the hell did you get that?" I asked, hiccuping.

He furrowed his eyebrows at me as he licked the paper. "Me?" After he finished, he handed it to me. "For you, beautiful."

I smiled as I picked up the lighter next to me and set the flame to the paper. It instantly started to burn. The weird but soothing aroma of the blunt entered the atmosphere around us. I put it to my lips and breathed in, just like I was taught years ago. The familiar burning sensation was back in my lungs, causing me to cough. "Shit, it's been a while."

Ryan laughed, his already lit blunt hanging in between his lanky fingers. "Brings back memories, huh?" He took a hit and exhaled the fumes.

I smiled. "Yeah. I miss being in trouble with you. I loved the thrill. Now there isn't any in my life." I leaned my head back and sighed, trying again with the blunt. It went smoother this time, the burning feeling not becoming too uncomfortable for me to breathe. I swallowed the smoke, letting it exhale out of nose and my mouth.

"I see you still got it though." Ryan said watching me. I laughed and hit his shoulder. "You're still that same girl I fell in love with."

I took another hit. "You didn't love me, shut up."

Ryan gave me a cynical look. "That's a lie. You know I loved you, Savannah. Why do you think I did the things I did with you? I wouldn't do it with any other girl. You know that."

The hit I took this time really messed me up, I had to spit out a wad of saliva. "Ryan, it's whatever. It's the past."

"Yeah, but I'm saying what's wrong with a future? Nobody was down for me like you were Savannah. You know that. You don't love him, I know I've been on your mind. We had too much of a history to just put it in the books. I really realized that over the years. I know I fucked up with the whole Jessica situation. I didn't know what the hell I was thinking." Ryan took a break from talking and put the blunt to his lips. I did the same since I forgot there was one lodged in between my fingers.

Ryan coughed before started going on again. "But I was really tripping. Alcohol will screw someone up. I just needed something to put my dick in, and you know Jessica was always up for something like that. She always acted so damn grown. But you were always mine, you know that." He turned towards me and smiled.

I smiled with him. "You really think that?" Everything was moving a bit slower than usual. Maybe I finally reached the high. Ryan nodded, his green eyes still managing to find a way to shine, this time under the moon. Fuck, did he look good. "Ryan, I think I love you."

A smile appeared on his face. "I love you too, Sav." He took a long hit of his short blunt before throwing it onto the street. "That didn't take long to go through."

"I don't remember you ever smoking." I said, taking a hit of mine. I must've not have been paying attention since mine was pretty much done also. I chucked mine onto the street just like Ryan.