twisted // tyler seguin

fifty two

"You're getting married?" I cried out, examining the huge ring on Julia's finger. It was beautiful and shiny, just like any engagement ring should be.

"I can't believe it either." Julia's eyes were glassy. She looked genuinely happy and full of joy. Brandon couldn't keep his eyes off of his now Fiancée as she marveled over her ravishing ring. "He did it in front of his friends too, and they knew about it. I just- it was just so memorable." She sighed, looking up dreamily. "I'm so blessed to have him in my life." Julia pulled him in for a kiss, to which he gladly agreed.

I looked at them with awe. They looked so in love, and so- candid about it. I knew Julia was deeply in love with Brandon, I knew that when I first met him. But this, what was going on before my very eyes- it was foreign to me. There was just something so fascinating and interesting about the atmosphere around them.

"I'm glad for you guys, congratulations." Tyler said with a cheesy smile on his face. I glanced towards him which caused his eyes to look into mine. His smile faded as I looked away. "If you need help with anything, let me know. I'll gladly dish out anything that I can."

Julia smiled ecstatically. "Thank you Tyler, I appreciate it. It means a lot. I'm going to get the dates and everything figured out as soon as possible, and when I do, I'm going to let you guys know." Her eyes rested on mine, and her boisterous attitude lowered into something more soothing as she gave me a grin. "But there is something that I'm definitely sure of."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "And what's that?" I asked, sounding a little more attitude-ish than I wanted it to be. Julia's eyes glanced towards Brandon quickly as she tugged on her ring before glancing back towards me.

"I kinda wanted you to be my maid of honor."

Tyler laughed out loud and I narrowed my eyes at her. Maid of honor? "Shouldn't that be given to like, your best friend or something?"

Julia's face showed a hint of annoyance. "I mean, it can be but I wanted it to be you. We've been going through a little rough patch lately, so I wanted to make it up by making you my maid of honor. I mean, if you don't want to be, you don't have to. I'll find someone else to give it to."

"No, it's fine Julia. I don't have a problem with it." I sighed loudly. My eyes were beginning to sting again, and I really didn't know why this time. "Just let me know what you need, and I'll do my best okay?"

Her energetic smile returned as she crossed the living room to hug me. "Thanks sis, I love you." She stood upright and glanced at Tyler before hugging him too. "I wish I could give you guys more information, but I did only get proposed to thirty minutes ago. I didn't even tell Mom and Dad yet."

"What? Why?" I cried out. "They should be the first people you tell, not us."

Julia shrugged, heading towards the door with Brian. "You guys were closer, and I had to tell someone as fast as possible."

I followed them as they opened the front door. "I guess that's true. So I'll be hearing from you soon, I guess?" I said, looking into Julia's eyes. She nodded.

"Yeah, I should be calling you over the next couple of days, so make sure you take me off of blocklist." A devious smile appeared on her face.

I rolled my eyes as I gave her a small smile. "Shut up, you were never on blocklist, you weirdo."

"I know, I'm kidding sis." She gave me one last hug and waved towards Tyler. "See you guys."

"See ya," I called out, shutting the door behind her.

A weird, uneasy feeling crept over me. My sister was engaged. I never thought this would happen- a wedding ring appearing on that infamous finger. She was fucking engaged. In a couple of months, she would be married, having a husband. Her last name would no longer be Whitfield, and she would actually be called Mrs., and people would be expecting her to have kids in a couple of years. Julia, my sister, was fucking engaged.

I sighed as tears formed in my eyes. It seemed nice, having a guy focusing on you, and only you. Time flying by as monthly anniversaries turn into yearly anniversaries, and before you know it, a fat rock is on your ring finger. Then you'll be saying your vows, and then you'll kiss him in front of your audience, and soon you're on a plane or riding in a car to your honeymoon, where it's just the two of you. I was happy for Julia, that she was on her way to living the beautiful, highly anticipated newlywed life. It was too bad that I hadn't even reached the first step- having a guy focusing on me, and only me.

It was months into our relationship, and I was still finding ways to fall into childish conflicts. Tyler was still seeing other people behind my fucking back. It was always Julia, the star child, the oldest child who set the role and took care of the younger child. I tried to follow in her golden footsteps, but it never fucking worked. It's frustrating- I have the man of my dreams right in front of me- attractive, tall, strong, smelled great, sweet talker, and a great sex partner. But at what costs?

Oh boy could I name a few- him going out constantly and having to worry about what he's doing, being months into the relationship, and realizing that you're still insecure despite the thousands of "reassuring" phrases he said every night to you before going to bed, having females he never met know all about him, probably more than I actually even knew. Females that were out there who actually had a better chance of getting laid with him than I did.

It fucking sucks, I can't help but feel like I'm no match for Tyler. I can't keep up with this fast paced, high speed schedule of his. And it was only the offseason, how the hell was I supposed to cope during the actual season? When he would be away for up to a week at most, and if he was home, see him for about three hours a day? I wasn't built for any of this.

"It's cool that she's getting married." I choked out, making my way back to the couch. "It's unexpected though, I never actually thought about Julia getting married."

Tyler shrugged. "That's how it is sometimes. Marriage is a really nice thing." He said quietly.

"It is a really nice thing, I'm sure." I said, pushing my luck. "It really just embodies how intimate and close things really get once you guys start to share last names. I sure do hope I live to experience it one day."

Tyler whipped his heads towards me, and I made it vital to not make any type of eye contact with him. I began messing with my fingernails, acting as if I were entertained by them. "Sav, you think you'd want to get married, like at your age now?" He asked quietly.

I looked up towards him despite my silent vow and shrugged. "I don't really care. It's whatever, I wouldn't want to rush something that serious."

"That's not really answering my question." Tyler said, eyeing me down. "Would you get married at this age? You're only 22, and that's why I'm asking."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You say I'm only 22 like It's a bad thing, like I shouldn't be getting married at that age or something."

"So you do want to get married?" He asked in annoyance.

I took the hint and I sighed. "I'm going upstairs, I'm taking a nap." Tyler didn't respond.

Did I want to get married? Of course. Would I tell Tyler that? Hell no. It was too hard to approach him on a topic like that especially after what happened the past couple of weeks, and especially after what I just saw. Who and what was I to trust? It was obvious Tyler still wanted to hold onto his bachelor-like lifestyle, even if he was clinging on by the edges of his fingertips. Yeah, he could tell me that he asked my parents for my hand in marriage, but as long as he's at the age he's at, he's going to keep pulling these shenanigans that I always find him in. The shenanigans that always make me question if I'm the crazy girl, the crazy girl who's moving to fast. The crazy girl who always seems to ask for just too much.

I flopped onto my bed and let the salty tears run down my face. I'm tired of being confused, and I'm tired of knowing what I want and not having it, then questioning why I can't have it. And that's when I figured- I wanted commitment.

I wanted to get married.