She, who was unloved by every person she loved thinking she was UNLOVABLE.
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He , who loved her when everyone left her and made her feel UNLOVABLE.
A tale of love about a girl who was humiliated by every person she thought was her. She, who was hu...
Drops of blood were scattered everywhere on the bathroom floor, i was sitting on the corner of the bathroom looking at my hand without any expression which , i cut by my favorite knife. This pain was far better than what i used to go through daily. Now, i don't even cry after hurting myself continuously, i am getting habitual of this pain with every passing day.
" Madam, driver is waiting, won't you go to school today" My maid, Marie asked knocking the door. I looked at the door and said " Coming" I got up from the floor dressed my injury and wore my long sleeve coat to avoid anyone looking at my art.
I came down from the stairs and saw mom, my dad and brother eating their breakfast. I sat beside my brother who was 5 years elder than me. I silently started eating my breakfast without looking at anyone. But i can feel eyes on me.
They always do this to me. My so called brother was good in studies so after doing his graduation he started helping dad in his business. Mr. Lee so hyun , the famous business tycoon of the country. Person with lots of money, respect and resources. But don't have any love for his daughter. Even money can't buy me his love if i was ready to spend it for his love.
" How's your study going? " He asked without looking at me as usual " Good " I replied not looking at him. " I heard you got B grade in economics " He asked " Yehh" I replied without any expression. Here we go . My morning starts with his humilation.
" What else we can expect from a worthless girl like you? You are neither good in studies nor in any other activities. You are worthless, shameless brat, just living on my money , eating my food and spending my money on your so called boyfriends. " He said and smacked the dinning table. I kept my hand away from table putting them on my lap and clutch the injured area tightly until i felt blood started oozing out.
' Hahh relief ' i thought as my mental pain went down because of physical pain. " What are you doing sitting here,? Get lost before i lost my temper on you. " My dad said. I rarely had 2 3 bits of breakfast but it's ok. I was not hungry at all. I got up from the chair and saw my brother smirking at me.
I looked away , keeping my expression less face and went towards maria who was standing there with my bag. I indicated her and she put my bag in the car and as i sat inside the car , it drove away. I immediately took out another band aid from my bag and changed it. My driver who was in his 50s witnessed it but didn't say anything. He is witnessing this from 3 years. But never asked, never cared and never bothered.
This is my morning routine, To hear the curse words from my dad, see my brother smirking while my mom just minding her own business. No one is there for me, these so called people whom i call my family are nothing just disgrace to my mental health. It is going on from the day i learn what life is or i can say from the day my mom left this world leaving me alone to face these problems.
I have no friends at school. I don't like strangers to meddle in my business. And most of people who wants to make me their friends are just behind my dad's money. So, it's better to be alone then roaming with two faced people. They think i am ignorant and rude but i dont want to be in such a relationship where they don't really know who i am and what were the causes that i become like this
They say i dont talk, but who's going to tell them that i talk alot but in my brain.
I reached the school and went out of my car. I went inside the school gate not looking at anyone just kept on heading towards my classroom.
As i reached the class i took my seat, which was near the window. Thank god. I can look out whenever i want and no one can bother me here. Usually no one sits beside me and it makes me feel relief and unbothered.
After finishing my lectures, i went back to my home. There was usually no one at home this time, but today my brother's mom is sitting on the couch with few of her friends from her high society.
I want to run away , not facing them ever again in my life but i can't even change the way to my room how can i run?.I have to confront them. I rolled my eyes and headed my way to my room.
" YN " mom called, i looked at her " Don't you have manners to greet your elders" Not again mom, i am already tired. I went towards them slowly and bowed in front of them.
"Oh, YN, your hair got little bit thin, are you not taking care of them? " One of them said i just smiled. I want to get out of here. " Why ye jee, don't you take care of your daughter, she looking so fat, whose going to marry her? " Another one said. I gulped and looked at mom. As usual she won't say anything for me and let them humilate me.
" Why don't you wear contact lenses, these glasses look so low standard" Another one said " Stop being ugly YN, time to groom up" One of them said again. I was standing there with an expressionless face and my head down .
I went back to my room and locked the door inside. Their words were echoing inside my brain. I clutched my head tightly and sat under my study table bringing my knees to my chest but this was of no use. This can be cure by only one way.
I got out of the table , throw my bag and ran inside the washroom, i strip down my uniform and took out my knife. I slowly made a cut on my elbow and lay down on the cold floor all naked as it was curing me from the humiliation i went through the whole day. Drops of Blood were all over the floor, i started to feel dizzy But i don't care even if i got unconscious because no one cares if i am fine or not. Only maria came to my room for food and take cares of me, but she is also reserved she don't talks to me until it's necessary. She is doing all this as her duty and for money.
She saw my blood many time on bathroom floor but she never mind asking what going on in my life, why do i have so many cuts, why there is always blood on my bathroom floor, why do she have to threw my blood stained clothes time to time?
Why do i even expect someone to care for me and love me when i am totally unlovable?
No one, literally no one cares if i live or die. But i don't want to die, i want to feel the pain and see how much i can endure. I want to see my breaking level. I want to see how much i can tolerate these voices in my mind. I can't even remember when was the last time I cried.
After feeling a little bit ok i took a warm shower my cut was burning due to hot water but it was nothing in front of what i have been listening to ,for years and after that i dressed my cut with a band aid. I wore a t shirt and pj and went to do my homework.
Otherwise my teachers will also humiliate me.
Author's note:
Hope you like the first chapter. Please tell me your views. ❤
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