I loved and I loved and I lost you

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Age: 20
Word count: 734
Summary: It's Natasha's 1 year death anniversary and Alena visits her grave (Bc someone asked why she's dead when I have a oneshot bringing her back; whenever I do these sort of oneshots, it follows a timeline where Natasha died, yk. Ig I just like making myself cry sooo)

The air was exceptionally cold that day.

Alena didn't know why, but it fit her mood. She felt cold walking across the small graveyard.

She held a red rose, her moms favorite, clutching it tightly. A small sniffle escaped her lips.

The redhead came alone. She felt like this was the only acceptable way to spend this day.

A lump formed in her throat when she neared the tree under which a tombstone had found peace.

It wasn't a random one of course. It was Natasha's. It had been hers for a year exactly that day.

Alena came to a halt in front of it. She had to look away the second her eyes grazed the engraving.

Even though it had been a year, the fact her mom was just gone hadn't settled in. It still felt weird even thinking about it.

That was until the flashbacks started.

Vormir. Alena trying so desperately to save Natasha.

Trying so desperately to not let go.

Trying so hard to keep her grip steady.

Trying so hard not to loose it.

Trying so hard to find a way to pull her up.

Trying so hard to save her life.

And still, she failed.

The images flashed in Alena's mind, one second she tried holding on, the next her mothers lifeless body lay beneath her.

She suddenly snapped out of her trance, gaze focused on the tomb once more, Rose still in hand.

With a stifled sigh, Alena set it down, easing into the ground after she did.

,,Прошел год, мама (It's been a year, Mama)"

She sniffled, trying hard to restrain herself from crying. Unsuccessfully.

The ice cold wind blew across her face, making the tears in her eyes burn.

It didn't feel uncomfortable though but almost like someone blew on her face affectionately.

Alena cupped her own face, closing her eyes and enjoying the breeze on her face. It was a feeling she only ever got whenever she sat at her mothers grave.

,,I still miss you"

She muttered, eyes still pressed shut tightly, as if opening them would eliminate the feeling.

Silence fell over the small clearing, the golden hour setting in slowly.

Alena watched as the sun began to set, enjoying every shade of red, orange and faint purple and faded pink.

Whenever she came here, it was like her mom showed her the most beautiful skies, almost as if it was her way of telling her it was okay.

The redhead's gaze found the ground once more, tears dropping into the grass.

,,Happy one year, Mom"

She managed to say, a small, sad smile tugging at her lips.

,,Вчера у меня было первое выступление. Я плакал, как ебаный ребенок, когда начал петь, потому что ... я пел для тебя (I had my first performance yesterday. Cried like a fucking baby once I began singing because ... I sang for you)"

The 20 year old admitted, more tears hitting the grass in front of her.

Her gaze lifted, forcing herself to look at the tomb in front of her, staring at the word 'loving mother'.

Alena sighed, her breath shaking. She always hated how those two words where the only things written on that tomb.

For her, Natasha was more than just a 'loving Mother'.

For her she was the one person she could always confide in, the one person who'd never judge.

For her she was her best friend and something others would describe as a soulmate.

Thats right, Natasha was Alena's souldmate. The one person who knew her better than anyone.

Of course there were other types of soulmates, but the bond mother and daughter shared was stronger than any other word could describe.

A/N: I'm not crying, you're crying. No genuinely, I cried the entire time while writing this. Idk I'm just a fucking emotional wreck rn. Really hope you didn't cry as hard reading this, ha .. ha.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this one regardless, even included a song for you this time.
I'll see you around, hope you have a great day/night, beautiful people. Stay amazing <3

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