Sidemen Imagines

Why Do I Try (Part 2)

Simon lightly pat your bum before getting up and finding something to wear. You still felt pretty deflated after finding out he had forgotten your anniversary, the fact he had been so self absorbed the past month had gotten to you enough but right now it felt like he had completely shut you out. You felt forgotten.

"Okay" you mumbled into the bed. You pushed yourself up, a small attempt for attention made you push your bum in the air, giving Simon a good view but when you turned around he wasn't even looking, just picking out a shirt.

You decided on something simple yet classy. You'd guessed that because he had forgotten he didn't have anywhere fancy booked and the chances of actually getting a table somewhere nice on short notice was near enough impossible. (Media)

When you had gotten dressed and put your makeup on you got up to meet Simon. He was just sat on his bed on his phone. Again not paying you any attention. You cleared your throat, catching his attention, you smiled weakly before he got up and took your hand.

"You look nice" he smiled. Nice. You look, nice. Really? Socks look nice, nice is a word you use for something so mundane it doesn't deserve a better word. It doesn't deserve the credit. To Simon, you weren't worth a 'beautiful' or 'gorgeous' like he used to use. You would wear sweat pants and a sports bra and he would still use better words than 'nice'.

You hopped into the car, not before telling the rest of the sidemen he was going out because apparently, he needed permission to be away from work and friends to be with you.

He car journey over was quiet, it was pretty awkward too, it made you think back to the days where his hands would never leave your body, they had to be in contact even when he was driving. His hand would be laced with yours, your fingers slotting together to create the perfect fit, his palm resting gently on your knee, sometimes drawing patterns on your thigh.

It made you think of the first time he told you he loved you. He had his palm pressed against your thigh and his pointer finger tracing your leg, so slow and relaxing. He traced the words 'I love you' into your thigh and you felt goosebumps rise. Your cheeks become red and your heart flutter right out of your chest. It was the best night of your life. But now. It all seemed like a dream because that was so perfect. And this just feels wrong.

"Okay, because I've literally just had breakfast, even though it's like 3pm, I want to wait a while before we eat so I decided to take you here" he smirked happily. As you look up you were blinded by the red and green flashing lights and the sounds of joyful screams and plinky music from fairground rides made you beam. This was where you had your first date. Simon remembered?

"You remembered?" You asked quietly. Simon looked at you for a moment before furrowing his eyebrows.

"Remembered what?" He asked, your heart dropped. Was this some coincidence that he would take you here? Was this just the first thing he could think of that was short notice?

"Nothing" you mumbled. Getting out of the car and walking to the entrance turbines. You payed for yourself as quick as possible and pushed through the gate before Simon could catch up and pay for you.

"Why didn't you let me pay?" He asked as he finally caught up to you, having to jog a little. You shrugged and smiled but inside you knew it was because you just wanted the little piece of independency. You figured that if you're gonna get left alone a lot you might as well get used to it.

He placed his hand in yours before you walked off together. First hitting a few fairground rides, the typical ghost train, you refrained from running to Simon for safety and kept your independency thing going. You went on the carousel and the hand gliders.

"What do you want to do next?" Simon asked, reattaching his hand with yours.

"I don't mind" you smiled innocently, the feeling of his hand in yours making you feel different to what it used to. He directed you in the direction of a few stalls, the usual coconut shy and hook-a-duck being the first things you see. Then Simon spotted the football game. You had to kick the ball through one of the many holes in the piece of chipboard with a goal painted around it.

When you first came here, Simon had a go and won you a teddy bear. You cheered and called him a talented football star. He blushed and called you cute. This time you stood by and watched him get a perfect score. Only missing once. It was a kids game, the holes were big enough for you to climb through and low enough for the ball to roll through so when he was told he had a great score you weren't surprised.

"For you" he smiled, his prize was a small pink stuffed pony, dark pink with light yellow mane and tail. It was cute, even had a heart on its nose. You smiled and took it, awkwardly holding it in your hands. You said thank you before wondering off again.

After a few games together and a few more rides, you began fm enjoy yourself, you found the old Simon, the one who remembered you. The one who laughed for about an hour when you told him hit embarrassing story about the ice-cream. The one who kept on getting lost on purpose just so he didn't have to drive you home yet.

You were laughing together and having a nice time. You missed this. As you cuddled into his side on the Ferris wheel and clutched the small pony in your hands, you began to remember how it used to be. How things changed. Some for the better, but most of them had changed for the worse. You loved how passionate he was about his job, about recording videos and doing silly challenges with his friends. But you loved his attention more.

As the Ferris wheel came to a stop, you hopped off and walked around for a while with Simon happily wondering beside you at the end of your arm.

It had gotten dark and you had decided something to eat would be great, instead of a restaurant like you had imagined, you did exactly what you did on your first date, even though Simon doesn't remember it, and got hotdogs from a small van parked on the grounds.

You were in the line when you felt Simon tug on your arm, when you looked over you saw him looking around.

"What you doing?" You asked.

"I thought I heard someone call my name" he said, continuing to look around.

"Simon is pretty common?" You shrugged but then a girl collided with Simon, nearly knocking you over.

"Oh my god I can't believe it's you!" The girl screeched, clinging onto Simon for dear life.

"Uhm. Hi?" Simon giggled as the girl pulled away.

"I've seen all your videos!" She said excitedly, her breathing was erratic and you could tell she was having the greatest moment of her life.

"Guys! It is him!" She called over her shoulder and before you knew it, a giant crowd had surrounded Simon, completely pushing you out.

You sighed as the crowd got bigger and Simons slowly started to disappear. You went and collected yourself and Simon some food to try and pass the time but when you get back to him, the crowd had grown even more.

"Spoke too soon" you whispered to yourself. You had started to enjoy your time. Away from work, away from YouTube. Just you. But like you had already said. You spoke too soon.