Sidemen Imagines

Why Do I Try (Part 6)

Simons POV

I said it, I said the words that I've been dying to say to her for months. Words that once used to be said to her every single day, ones I had thought I'd forgotten how to say.

She simply sighed and walked over to her kitchen table, hopping up onto one of the stools and putting her head in her hands.

"Simon" she said softly, my heart doing somersaults as I tried to imagine what she was thinking.

"Hear me out. I know, I neglected you, I made you feel redundant in my life and I'm sorry, I can't cope without you, you'll always be my number one commitment, you know that" I walked over and tried to hold her hands, pulling them away from her face but she just slipped them away from mine.

"Do I?! Do I know that?! That night, the one that I left you, that was the most attention you'd paid me for weeks. It felt like you didn't love me anymore!" She almost screamed, her whole body seeming weak against this argument.

"I do love you!" I tried reasoning but she just shook her head.

"If you loved me you would've made time for me! You wouldn't have to book me into your schedule! I can understand, YouTube is a very demanding and very time filling job, but is it too much to ask of you to spend one day where I get to hear you laugh and tell you you're silly? Is it too much to ask to feel wanted? Is it really, the worst thing in the world if I get to spend an hour with you?" A few tears slipped down her cheeks, cascading onto her white creased t-shirt.

"You know as well as I do that my job requires most of my attention! I want to give you the rest of my life, I want to give you everything and every second I can give you" I speed walked around the table and spun her around, placing my hand on her thigh and swivelling her on her chair so she was facing me.

"Please Simon" she cried, her hands pawing against my chest.

"I love you, I want to marry you" the words slipped out. Of course I loved her and wanted to marry her, if that's the way to prove it I'll do it right now. I don't have a ring but that will come. She had stopped hitting my chest, her whole body freezing apart from sniffling pants from her crying, her body heaving as the sobs had done their toll on her lungs.

I placed my hands on her shoulders and rest my forehead against hers as tears started coming from my eyes.

"Please Y/N" she let out a whimper before her hands fell against my chest completely, her palms pressing gently onto my quickly rising and falling chest, the screaming making me breathless.

"Do you love me?" I asked, my voice as weak as her body, she was shaking, the stress of it all becoming too much for her, she didn't respond, she simply looked up into my eyes and shook her head. My heart plummeted.

"No" she whispered. I felt like a million bolts of lightening striking my heart would be less painful than this. I felt my whole world shatter within a second. One word making me crumble to the floor.

"We don't work Simon. I wasn't happy." She ran a hand through my hair as I collapsed to my knees, my forehead leaning against her knee.

"I'm happy now" she sniffled. I felt a sob quake through my body as I slowly rose to my feet. 1 million and 1 emotions going through me at the speed of light. I stood and stared into her beautiful eyes, the ones that would crease when she laughed and would close in the dark of the night, next to my watchful ones, her body sleeping next to mine in complete content.

"And I want you to be happy" I said without emotion, a robotic voice taking over mine. I placed a hand on her cheek as at placed her hand over mine, she smiled at me sadly before I kissed her forehead and left. The feeling of a thousand weights being dropped on my heart and chest at once. But I knew she was happy. And that's what's important.

Your POV

You sat there silently. The only sounds were your whimpers. You were happy. You were doing so well at work, being able to afford a place on your own and now you were no longer tied to a relationship that, for you, was toxic. You felt good about yourself. Proud that you had managed to say no.

Of course, you felt so upset and guilty about Simon. Watching him leave when you knew he didn't want to. Forcing him out of your life, but it's for the best.

• • •

Months had passed and time had healed the wounds that pierced your soul. You were now a successful businesswoman with a reputation for getting what you wanted and not taking any crap from anyone, you were so popular with your colleagues and other business firms and so good at your job that you made it into the Forbes list of the best young CEOs in England.

You didn't get into another relationship for a while, just enjoyed being single and having the freedom to go to parties and live life to the fullest. You still kept up with Vik, texting every now and then, he kept you updated on everything. Just because you had given up on Simon didn't mean you had to give up everyone as well which Vik was thankful for. You were the only one he felt comfortable to really talk to. He missed you.

As for Simon, you were trying to be civil and trying to be friends. Even if it was just Facebook friends that never spoke but that's probably for the best. Because you were happy.

Everything turned out okay.