Sidemen Imagines

You Can't Tell Anyone (36)

This was it. You were standing in the doorway to your temporary bedroom, thinking about all the things that had happened over the few months you were away. The fights, the kiss, the crying and the laughter. All the things that had happened throughout your pregnancy the short period of time you were here was most definitely the most eventful.

You knew your stay here would've caused a hell of a lot of complications between yourself and Josh, even with the other boys. They can't have a screaming child in the house while they record videos, it's unfair.

You looked down and stroked your 8 month bump, pondering all the scenarios of which your babies life could have. You pondered them having a proper dad, one who was around all the time and you imagined him without. The latter seemingly the most realistic choice. You imagined moving out and having a family home, and imagined feeling like a burden to Harry forever. It seemed like the most likely situations were always so miserable and pathetic. But hey, that's life right?

You took one last look at the now empty room before shutting the door, grabbing your suitcase by the handle and dragging it down the stairs with a bump after every step. You were just going down the last set of stairs when the weight f your suitcase suddenly disappeared, turning around and seeing JJ behind you with a sad look on his face and your suitcase in his hand brought a sad smile to your lips. A nod of thanks from you made him smile but continue down the stairs.

Standing at the front door was difficult, it wasn't like you wouldn't see each other ever again, of course the boys would be seeing the baby all the time, it's just the thought of being away from each other for such a long period of time. You could see on all the boys faces that they all felt the same. Except Josh. Josh's face was completely vacant, he had bags under his empty eyes and his lips never curved into anything more than a straight line. He was slouched wth his head down, he looked tired and broken. It made you feel so guilty.

"You know we'll see each other all the time, it's not forever" you mumbled quietly, trying to bring a bit of light humour to the somber situation. A few of the boys cracked a smile but Josh took no hesitation from taking the suitcase from JJ's hands and taking it to his car.

"It's just going to be so lonely without you here" Vikk said with a small shrug. You stared at each other for a minute before your bottom lip suddenly started to quiver, a small hiccup left your body but not a moment after, Vikk had engulfed you in a tight hug, your head resting in the crook of his neck while his hands stroked your back comfortingly.

"Can't you all come with me?" You whispered making a small laugh come from Vikk's mouth.

"I don't think Harry's flat is big enough for all of us" Vikk reasoned.

"It's not big enough for me to move in either but that's not stopping me" you mumbled making Vikk go into another vibration of soft chuckles. As you pulled away you made eye contact with JJ and, almost instantly, you were struggling to breath as his strong arms wrapped around your shoulders, seeming like they'd never let go, you partly didn't want them to.

"You'll come and see us all the time won't you?" JJ's muffled voice in the sleeve of your coat made you crack a sad smile.

"But you'll be in LA a lot, how am I supposed to come and see you then?" You asked playfully, keeping your voice low still.

"They let babies come on planes. Besides you could just put it in a pet cage and let it sit with the rest of the luggage" you pulled away and smacked JJ in the arm making him yell out.

"Or we could FaceTime, y'know whatever works for you." He raised his hands in surrender as you shook your head at him, laughing quietly. You turned your head towards Simon and raised an eyebrow. You knew that even though Simon was a cuddly person, he wasn't all that great at goodbyes. You stared at each other for a while as he but his lip and you smirked at him.

Slowly raising your arms to offer a hug, you heard a faint 'fuck it' before his body crashed with yours. Holding in the whimper of the contact on your pregnant belly, you wrapped your arms around his torso and nuzzled your head into his chest.

"Josh told me what happened last night. I'm sorry Y/N but I think it's for the best" he whispered so only you could hear. You froze momentarily before squeezing him tighter.

"You were right." You sighed, trying your best so keep composure as you hadn't let any tears slip yet and you were trying to keep it that way.

As you pulled away, you heard a small knock at he open door, you whipped your head around to see the still miserable Josh leaning against the doorframe.

"Everything's packed. You ready?" He asked, absolutely no emotion being shown on his pale face. You nodded slowly, turning and waving to everyone before getting in the car.

The short drive there was painfully quiet. Usually you and Josh could sit in silence for hours, the only noise was the occasional cough or sigh. Now it was brutal.

As you exit the car and see Josh begin the pull out both of your suitcase, you place a hand on his forearm, his actions stopping completely. He was completely frozen in place. You watched as his gaze travelled up your arm and to your eyes where he showed the first bit of emotion you'd seen all day; pain. You could see the hurt in his eyes just from the contact you had put on him. You had seen the sadness run through his body as he realised that touch would never feel the same again.

"Please don't" he whispered before shrugging your hand off, pulling your luggage from the car and proceeding to the lift. You followed him in and stood there silently. You looked to the floor as a tear started rolling off of your cheek and onto the floor, the small splat it made caught Josh's attention as he sighed before finally speaking.

"I'm gonna miss you" you were surprised to say the least, not only by the sudden break of silence but by what he said.

"What do you mean? You'll see me all the time with the baby" you said with a small crack in your voice. He shook his head before whispering,

"But not in the same way" and as perfect timing would have it, the lift doors opened and he swiftly left before you could reply. You followed with intentions of sorting this out but before you could even try, he had knocked on the door and the unmistakable patter of Harry's feet had made it to the door.

"Y/N!" He called as he threw himself at you, wrapping himself around you. You could tell he had been lost from civilisation for some time, his hair and beard had grown surprisingly long. You were surprised by the hug and stumbled a bit before Harry pulled you upright.

"Sorry I'm just so excited to see you! You've gotten so big!" Harry exclaimed as e looked down to your belly, placing his cold hands to it gently.

"Well thanks Harry, thanks a lot" you tried to sound upbeat and happy but something in your voice told Harry you imply weren't.

"What's wrong?" He whispered so no one else could hear. Josh had gone inside so it was just the two of you.

Your mouth had opened but he only thing that came out was a strangled groan, your lower stomach had suddenly gone into some weird painful stretching feeling. You gripped your stomach and doubled over. Only adding to Harry's concern. You had no idea what was happening but you suddenly heard a splattering sound, like someone had poured water all over the floor. You had no idea what it was until Harry asked you something that made you panic inside,

"Y/N did you just piss yourself or did your waters just break?"