Sidemen Imagines

You Can't Tell Anyone (33)

The yelling downstairs lasted a few hours, Melissa's cries louder than the boys screams. You knew neither of them were violent but it's understandable that they'd get upset over this.

You had snuggled into Simons side as Vikk traced patters in your leggings, JJ taking occasional breaks to come over and talk quietly, discussing what might be happening. It had gotten dark outside by the time the yelling had deceased into low mumbles that could still be heard if you really strained your ears.

It was around 8:12 when you heard the doors slam and silence fill the house. After a few minutes there was a low mumble and another door shutting. You wanted so desperately to go downstairs and find Josh and hug him, knowing that when he's upset the last thing he wants to do is leave the house.

You wanted to to hold him and make him feel better but you knew that when he wanted cheering up he would come for it, he would find you. Which is why you were so surprised to hear footsteps coming up the stairs and towards JJ's room. There was a soft knock at the door before a red faced Josh poked his head through the gap.

You sat up from your nest of Sidemen and held your arms out. His face screwed up slightly as a few tears slid down his face and he walked over to where you were all snuggled together. Josh sat on the edge of the bed with your arms placed tightly around his shoulders, pulling his head into your breasts. Not as a hint but that's simply the most comfortable place for him to go.

"I can't believe I've been so stupid" he whimpered, there was a collective mumble of 'aww' around the room as the boys all moved to comfort him.

"Hey, you're not stupid, you were in love" Simon said quietly. The sentence putting a pang in your chest but carried on squeezing him nonetheless. It hurt to know how in love he was straight after having you by his side.

"But I wasn't. I wasn't happy. I was with her because she was there, she said all these things and they all seemed so right" he choked. Simon passed him a tissue which he thanked him for and wiped his face, leaving dry puffy eyes.

"She was manipulative. But it's okay because she's gone now" you whispered. Placing a kiss to his cheek. You weren't trying to get with him at all, this is obviously a hard time for him right now, that's the last thing he needs.

"You saw who she was. I should've listened to you. You were right you always are" he turned his head around to look at you, resting his forehead on yours and placing his hands on your cheeks. That's when you smelt the alcohol on his breath, vodka to be exact. You held your breath and turned away before sighing,

"Josh you've been drinking haven't you?" There were a couple of groans behind you as JJ and Simon shared a look.

"Just a little. I just got so angry so I went into the kitchen and just-" he mimicked drinking from the bottle as everyone sighed. Of course he wouldn't be thinking straight if this was happening.

"But then she followed me so I threw the bottle on the floor" he whispered. You retracted from him slightly and placed one hand on your cheek, rubbing your eye tiredly.

"Come on" you sighed, standing up and holding your hands out. He took them and followed as you gave a nod to the boys. You took Josh to his bed before tucking him in gently. Kneeling by his side as he fought against his own eyelids, trying so hard to stop them from shutting.

"Thank you" he whispered, pulling and arm out from under his covers to caress your cheek. You chuckled quietly before cocking your head to the side,

"What for? Ruining your relationship?" You said with a whispered laugh although you actually did feel insanely guilty about it.

"No. For always being true to me even after what I did to you. For looking after me when I'm a drunk emotional mess? For staying by my side no matter what" he whispered. You stayed looking at each other for a while, just smiling as you stared into each other's eyes.

"Well I know you'd do the same for me" you smiled fondly as you lifted your hand to place it over his that was still sat cupping your cheek.

"For always and forever" he mumbled, the end of his sentence turning into faded words as he finally gave in to the nagging tiredness and drifted off to sleep. You placed a lingering kiss to his forehead before exiting his room, shutting the door behind you.

You began to walk across the landing but stopped with a fright as you noticed Vikk stood in the hallway to JJ's, Simons and your own room, smirking as he leant against the wall.

"God Vikk you scared me" you whispered, afraid your wake Josh through these paper thin walls.

"You're going to be an amazing mum" he said simply, coming towards you and placing a friendly kiss to your cheek before moving around you and into his own room. You stood there a little shocked yet proud to have earned the compliment. Not really sure about what happened, you decided you'd be better thinking about it as you rested your poor swollen feet as opposed to stood in the middle of the landing.

As you got to your room you saw Simon sat in his own, editing away at whatever video he had planned. Instead of going into your room to lie down and think alone, you went into his, laid down on his bed as he smiled at you and just thought in the silence, well, almost silence, the occasional click and tap from Simon editing wasn't really bothering you though.

Today had made you think. Think a lot. About Josh. Did you really want him back? Or did you just want Melissa out of the picture? Obviously it's best if she goes, she was a toxic person that was destined to hurt him, but if it wasn't Melissa, it was a sweet girl that had actual good intentions with him. Would it have been different?

Yes in the beginning you were certain you wanted him back, but was that jut because you didn't want to do this alone? Because you weren't ready for the break up when it happened? Or simply because you did still love him?

Melissa obviously had to go, she was nasty and cruel and never deserved to have such a wonderful person like Josh. But if this was the nice girl, would you have gotten over it eventually?

There's a thin line between actual want and jealousy, you just had to decide which side you were actually on. And as you thought, as you pictured all your memories and replayed your favourite parts, as you remembered all the bad things and the feelings that came up when you first saw Josh with another, it was clear which side you were on.