Sidemen Imagines

How Could You (5)

You got your clothes on and slapped a bit of makeup on your face, copious amounts of concealer to try and hide the puffy bags under your eyes. You sighed at yourself in the mirror, biting your lip as you tried to pull a plan together for today, however lethargy had already started creeping it's way in and staying in bed all day hoping all the problems disappear was looking ever so tempting.

Your thoughts were interrupted as your stomach let out a huge gurgle, the thought of breakfast distracting you for at least a minute. You got up and made your way downstairs, pulling your hair into a high ponytail on the way.

"Oh, you're home" you said, slightly startled at a very pale Josh sitting at the kitchen counter, glass of water in front of him and a small pile of aspirins next to it.

"Shhhhhhh. Too loud" he groaned, placing his head on the cold countertop and scrunching his face.

"What time did you get in?" You asked as you walked around to fill the kettle, a warm cup of tea calling your name.

"About an hour ago" he chuckled weakly, a look of shock appearing on your face.

"You were out all night? That party wasn't that good!" You folded your arms and stared at him in disbelief, how someone could stay out past 5 in the morning you had no idea.

"Yeah the party was pretty shit so we bailed and ended up at some friend of JJ's house, there wasn't that many people but there were a loooot of drinks" you let out a small laugh, knowing all too well how carried away Josh gets when it comes to alcohol, drink after drink without a single thought about how drunk he was already.

"So where is everyone?" You asked as you poured your drink, a small pang of worry for the others in your stomach.

"Well I'm here dying, Freya went home early, Vikk I think met some bird at the first party and I haven't seen or heard from him since then, JJ obviously came home with you, Simon said he had work to do but he dropped us at McDonald's first, Harry went home the same time as me, Freezy is still out I think and Cal and Jess got kicked out early so I think they went home and Ethan left early" you breathed deep trying to intake all the information while being impressed at his memory from his hungover state.

"Okay, you, Harry and Freezy are idiots" you tutted, moving around the counter to sit beside him.

"Nope, the only idiots here are you, JJ, Simon and Ethan, we made memories, you made boring sleep" you sighed and raised your eyebrows,

"I can't speak for Ethan but Simon isn't an idiot, he had work. JJ is a prick so I guess the only idiot here is me" you chewed at the inside of your cheek, rubbing your thumb over the pattern on your mug while Josh just scrunched his eyebrows.

"If it took you this long to figure out that JJ is a prick then I'd be inclined to agree" he huffed out a tired laugh before grabbing his water and heading upstairs, presumably to nap the day away.

You took a sip of your tea, burning your tongue ever so slightly before humming in agreement to what Josh had said.

You really were an idiot. To not think that JJ would do something like this when he had a reputation for stuff like this, you were an idiot to think that you were going to be the change in his heart that would make him stay faithful to you. And everything with Simon, oh my god. What on earth were you doing?

You didn't even notice a tear slip down your face as you sat and wallowed in the pool of guilt and stupidity you had created for yourself. It cascaded down your cheek before it rolled off your chin and fell with a gentle splat onto the countertop.

"Hey" you heard behind you, you whipped your head around and saw a tall blonde boy in the doorway.

"Hi" you said back, your voice just above a whisper. You watched him make his way into the kitchen and pour himself a cup of tea, your eyes never leaving him as your brain was trying to assess your feelings. There was a deep feeling of regret for last night.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked with his back towards you, stirring his tea and keeping his gaze away from you. You gulped hard but mumbled for him to proceed anyway, fear tingling on the surface of your skin. "Why did you kiss me last night?" He finally turned around to face you.

Your mind went blank before filling with millions of reasons why but none of them making sense. Your body stiffened as he moved towards the kitchen island you were sat at.

"I don't know" you croaked out. "If I had to guess.." you trailed off as your eyes met his and suddenly your bones turned to jelly. You couldn't tell what feeling you had towards him, was it fear, embarrassment, lust, you just couldn't tell.

"Do you like me?" He asked hesitantly. Your heart skipped a beat, you didn't know how to answer because you genuinely didn't know. Suddenly your mind wasn't in control and your mouth started saying words that you couldn't stop,

"JJ hurt me and I wanted to hurt him back and I thought kissing his best friend was the way to do that. I didn't take your feelings into consideration before and I'm sorry, it shouldn't have happened" you watched his jaw clench as he took in what you said. He nodded and looked away from you.

"Right. Good. Because y'know, I couldn't do that to JJ" he sucked his lip in between his teeth and bit hard, stirring his tea and refusing to look at you. He nodded his head and flashed a quick doleful smile before swiftly leaving the room.

Every inch of you felt wrong about what just happened. But you know deep down that what you said was right. You kissed him because you thought it would hurt JJ, you didn't feel anything for Simon and even if you did, it is far too soon to tell.

Simon's P.O.V

I walked into my room and set my cup down, pacing quickly back and forth with my hands in my hair. I felt sick, I felt hurt, I felt wrong.

She's right, and I'm right in what I said. We just got caught up in the craziness of last night, we don't have feelings for each other and even if we did, it's far too soon after everything happened with JJ, her feelings are probably all over the place and I probably got too into comforting her.

Everything is fine, we're friends, I don't like her like that and right now I need to focus on being there for her. I don't have feelings for her.

So why do I feel so bothered?

A/N: sorry I haven't posted in a while, life is crazy.
Also, I know everyone moved out and into their own places and stuff but this is set as if they're still all living together in the Sideman house. Just go with it.