Sidemen Imagines

Why Do I Try (Part 4)

You woke up the same way you had done for months now, alone but content. You sat up in your double bed, messy sheets, messy hair, looking through the small gap in the curtains, the dim glow igniting the city into a sea of orange and pink. A white oversized t-shirt hanging loosely over your collar bones and your bare legs coming up to your chest as you took in the view. One you had fallen in love with.

You walked to the kitchen with the pads of your feet slapping down against the hardwood floor, a hand coming up to rub the sleep out of your eye as your mouth stretched into a yawn.

You made your coffee before sitting down with your laptop in front of you. Checking e-mails, responding to work and business letters as quick as you could. Just the usual morning where you downed the caffeinated liquid and put yourself into work mode as early a possible.

At least it was normal. Until you went to YouTube to catch up on series' you were watching. The site loaded and instead of being met with the "Watch Again" section, you were met with channel recommendations. That's when you saw it, the thing that brought back memories. One name that took your entire morning into a spin.

Simons POV

"Hi, thanks for coming" I forced the smile onto my face as I held this girls phone out in front of me.

"I'm such a huge fan!" She squealed. She was adorable, usually my meet ups are filled with teenage girls and boys but she can't have been older than 11.

"Thank you, what's your favourite video?" I asked as cheerfully as I could muster. Taking her shirt from her and signing my name in the white font.

"Your seven seconds challenge" she beamed from ear to ear, but my heart stopped as the words left her mouth. That was the first video I did with her.

"Okay Y/N, you have seven seconds-" I paused to look at her dramatically, k watched her hand twitch and her eyebrows rise impatiently, she was so ready for what I was about to say and she didn't even know what it was yet.

"Come on you bellend!" She squealed, her impatiently growing with every second I wasted trying to be dramatic, my façade, however, crumpled with her outburst and I laughed my frown away.

"You-y-you have seven seconds to... Steal a hat from Tobi" I have her my challenge quickly and she scampered out of the room as fast as possible, trying to get to the living room where you knew Tobi was. I was creased up on my bed from laughing as I heard Tobi shout and her footsteps on the stairs.

"Time!" She screamed as she jumped on the bed with Tobi's hat in hand, we both laughed till our stomach hurt on our bed, I had to drag her by my side so we could carry on.

"I think you just made it" I smiled at her making her giggle.

"I'd better! I'm not wasting energy for a missed point" she laughed as I took the hat from her hands and placed on her head, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as small chuckles continued to come out of my mouth, I pulled her into my chest and kissed her hair. The rest of the challenges included more laughter and even more silliness but it's my most viewed video on my channel.

I couldn't bring myself to take it down.

"Thanks" I replied awkwardly, the memory of our first video replaying in my mind. Well technically it wasn't our first video together, she first appeared in a QandA by accident.

"Molly wants to know if I'll ever return to forcing the patience test on other sidemen. Well Molly I think the patience test is probably my favourite to film as a group-" I stopped to think for a while, remembering all the videos we made where we trashed the whole room.

I had continued talking into the lens, giving my answers as best I could, that was until I heard a slight shuffling sound beneath me, I felt a small knock on my chair making me really confused.

"-I hope we get another patience test done soon but- what are you doing?" I laughed as I looked down, the camera still rolling as Y/N was body crawling behind my chair, from the cameras point of view it looked like I was talking to the floor but then her cute laugh started sounding off making me laugh more.

Laughter was a key point in our time together. When it stopped was the hard part.

"I was trying to get past without disturbing you" she wheezed out through her giggles, I didn't reveal her face. Just her voice and the fact that she existed and when people asked, I told them straight. I was just waiting to be asked.

"I'm really sorry it didn't work out" the small girl said, she was genuinely the nicest girl I had talked about Y/N with, ever since I posted a video explaining why things were over, I saw noting but hate being sent toward her. The one thing I didn't want. I posted that break up video as a call out for her. I wanted her back, I wanted her to see I was hurting.

I never did move on. I couldn't bring myself to find someone new even though I was fairly sure she had moved on. I had never really been the same since she walked away from that restaurant. When I got home I found our room half empty and the necklace I have her for her birthday on the bed along with a note asking me to forget her. None of the guys had seen or heard her come and go. But then again. I never really did see her go either. For me it was like one moment she was there then-

The next she wasn't.

"I think you should win her back" the girls small voice interrupted my thoughts as I slid her merchandise over to the next sideman, Vik.

"Are you crazy?" I said with a painful laugh. She just nodded her head, I watched her glance at Vik and turned to see Vik staring at me with a strange look on his face.

"What?" I asked, slightly offended.

"You have been nothing but an asshole since she left. She's right you need to do something. Even if it's just a goodbye, it's still something to go on" Vik shrugged, signing the girls stuff as well before shoving it toward Ethan. The girl had walked on but I stood there stunned and silent.

Maybe that's what was up? To me the relationship still wasn't ended, to me it never did. I don't want it to end, ever. And I never did. I do need to talk to her. Now.